Thursday, October 27, 2005

Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

This morning I decided to skip my usual work out and I went for a swim instead (note: I don’t hate that). The water was warm, the sun was shining through the large windows, and it almost felt like summer. Well, actually it is a bit like summer over here. The temperatures should be down to 53º F by now, but today its 68º F. I guess the climate is changing after all (note: I do hate that) but that’s not what this little piece is about. Well, go on then… what’s it about? Okay, I’ll tell you!

After my swim I met up with an acquaintance of mine for coffee. I could call her a friend but I don’t see her as much as I used to and we don’t have that much in common, so acquaintance is probably the right word. We started talking about life, love, work, music, movies and other fun things and it was quite nice for a while. But then I started noticing something. Every few sentences she said this: ‘Well, I know you, you said……’ or ‘Well, I know you, you did that… or ‘I know you so well, you would never do that’.(note: Now that I do hate) I could give you a lot of other examples but I won’t bore you with those.

So here I was, sitting opposite of someone, who said she knows me sooooo well, but actually don’t know me at all. All the things she said didn’t make any sense. Was she confusing me with someone else? No, that couldn’t be it! We chatted some more and she kept on saying all these annoying things about me. I started to ponder: ‘Should I confront her with this, or is that a bad idea?’ To be honest, I didn’t need to think long about that, because my mouth sometimes has a mind of its own. Before I could answer my own question, my mouth blurted out ‘Actually, you don’t know me at all. You still think I’m the same person as I was 10 years ago, but I’m not!’ She was totally gobsmacked and uttered words like ‘But you still swim, don’t you? Okay, you lost some weight but you are still the same person in that new body, aren’t you?’

So I answered truthfully ‘Yes, I swim occasionally and no, I’m not the same person anymore. I’ve been through a lot these last couple of years and that has changed me considerably.’ And there was that gobsmacked face again. She said she didn’t know that, and she doesn’t because not everybody knows all the ins and outs but still most people see the positive changes in me. She is just sooo self-centered; she never completely gets what’s going on in other people’s lives. My mouth almost said that but I could control it for once.

Needless to say, we didn’t part on the best terms and that’s okay. But I still can’t get my head around to it. How is it possible that there are people out there who think that people never change? That people just stay the same from the moment you’ve met them? I think it’s fun to discover new things in people, new interests and changes. Well, I guess not everyone is like that, so that’s another lesson learned today.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would suggest, that if a person thinks that you are the same person as 10 years before, that she doesn't changed a lot in the meantime. Or she acts simple insulting and mindless...

Dakota said...

Ow, she has changed….a lot actually. When you would ask her that, she would probably deny it. And she is insulting and mindless… I agree! But as I said in that post… she is just an acquaintance… she is not that important. I still sleep very well at night :)

Phil said...

Dakota, I know you and I think that you will patch this up with your friend. Bad joke, I know.
That is so good that you said that to her. I don't know if I would have the where-with-all to do that. I think what she was saying goes along the lines of people saying "How are you?" when the really don't care to know how you really are. All they want to hear is "I'm doing GREAT!". They don't want the truth, they can't handle the truth.
Fantastic post! BTW, How are You?

Dakota said...

Phil, man you’re sooo funny :) You have a great sense of humor.

A couple of years ago I would have probably let it slide. I’m much wiser now ;) Sure I could have kept my mouth shut, but I know myself, I would have regretted that. For me it’s much better to express things. If I don’t, I start to ponder… and I hate that. I like to use my energy for much nicer things.

Oh… and to answer your question: I’m doing GREAT! ;-þ