Back by popular demand ;- ) Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#36)

Boost Your Mood.

Are you unhappy, depressed, down or just in a bad mood? Don’t worry this too will pass, it’s not like you are doomed to feel this way the rest of your life. Believe it or not, but the way you perceive things is a learned skill. Everyone can learn how to look at the world through more optimistic eyes. Over the next few weeks I will give you some tips which will hopefully improve your mood and make you feel more optimistic and upbeat.

Tip one: Stand tall.

Did you ever notice how happy and energetic individuals seem to radiate an endless supply of energy? They stand taller, walk faster and take bigger steps than unhappy and pessimistic people who have the tendency slouch, shuffle their feet and walk slowly. It’s like their batteries have gone flat and there is now way to recharge them, but there is! Pay attention to the way you carry yourself. Do you slouch? Do you take tiny steps? Well, now is the time to change that and to change you body posture. Look at the happy and optimistic people around you, how do they carry themselves? Lift your head, walk straight, walk tall and look the world right in the eyes. Of course you can look down if you are looking for cash or something (or feel insecure), but you would be missing a lot of the beautiful things that are all around us.
Take bigger and more powerful steps and try to walk a little bit faster than your usual pace, this will make you feel more energetic and with that energy your levels of happiness will increase.

Alternatively you can try a sport like Nordic Walking, if you don’t mind walking around with a set of funny looking ski poles. Nordic Walking will give you better posture, more energy and you are forced to walk faster.

Next week in MBSS: Tip two.

Cartoon Tuesday: Winter Blues

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#20)

Top tips to fix your state of mind.

Mend your mood, change your way of thinking, boost your positivity and feel better about yourself with these tips.

Sit still and observe.
During a stressful period, take 5 minutes to sit still and observe your own mind at work. Simply watch your thoughts and feelings without judgment and separate yourself from your negative emotions without suppressing them. View them as an outsider would. No need for judgement, no need to do anything with them, just let them come and go!

Rest and relax.
A lot of people these days are sleep-deprived and overworked. They are exhausted, burned out and moody. Don’t let this happen to you. The next time you feel miserable, moody, cranky or sad and depressed, listen to your body. How tired are you really? Tired!? Start to relax and let go (if only for a couple of minutes). Take a yoga class, visit a sauna, read a book for a couple of minutes, lie down…… just go for it! You will feel better and will work more efficiently.

Be nurturing, be kind.
Sometimes when things are really hard and life really sucks, it’s hard to put on a happy face. Putting on a happy face at these times can be even worse then letting yourself go. At those times, be nice and gentle to yourself and look for the nurturing person inside you. The kind of person who says, “Go ahead, feel what you need to feel, feel your feelings, this isn’t the end of the world. Things will look better in the morning”, “Bad days exists so that you will appreciate the good days even more”. Don’t be too hard on yourself and give yourself permission to go with the flow. Treat yourself to a nice meal, take a nap, give yourself a long hot bath, make some hot chocolate and add some whipped cream.

Make contact with another living being.
No, I am not talking about calling a friend are talking with someone. No, I actually mean make contact…….touch someone in a comforting way. Ask for a hug from a loved one (or a stranger, if you have the guts), get a haircut or a facial, get a massage or take a ballroom dancing class. Pet your dog, rabbit, cat or hamster. Don’t underestimate the power of the physical touch.

List 5 things.
List 5 things you love with all your senses and see how your mood improves by simply writing down 25 answers. Write 5 endings to these sentences:
"I love the sound of…………..”
"I love the sight of…………..”
"I love the smell of…………..”
"I love the feel of…………..”
"I love the taste of…………..”

Consult an elder.
There was a time when you had to visit the “tribal elders” for a piece of wisdom. In this day and age we live in a time where the wisest things ever said, thought, or written are available to all of us. Safe your favourite quotes from wise people in a place where you can see them (often). Write them in your diary, stick them on your refrigerator, keep them on your desktop, or make a welcoming message out of them on your phone. Store books that will lift you spirit on your bedside table, where they are available to be read and reread often. Spend a few minutes with your gathered wisdom when your mood needs lifting.

Collect items that make you laugh.
Collect a stack of items that make you laugh and keep them in your house or workplace. A DVD might do the trick, or a funny picture, stand-up comedy, books, a cartoon, a funny website, or the phone number of your funniest friend. When you are feeling down, spend 15 minutes (or until you can at least crack a smile) with your stack of laughter.

Lend a helping hand.
Feeling powerless/helpless is a main part of depression and anger, but there is no need for that. You might think that the power lies in being able to command others into helping you, but that’s not true. In reality it’s the other way around. People who are helped feel less powerful, while helpers feel more powerful. Helping out others will give your self-esteem a real boost. Start lending a helping hand.

20 things you are grateful for.
Yup, another list thingy. Think of 20 things you are thankful for and name them out loud. After you are done, think of 20 more and never repeat yourself. What? You can’t do it? Sure you can, you just not trying hard enough :) Start with the obvious; for example, give thanks for your ability to feel, smile, smell, love, cry, taste, hear, the sun, seasons, rain, wind, your friends, friendship, family, Snow Patrol, teardrops apples, pictures, music, and art. Oh, hmm…. You are not grateful for those things? Well, if you think you can do this better, come up with your own list then. Go ahead, the possibilities are endless!

Mind, Body & Soul Session (#19)

Beat the Seasonal Blues

Seasonal mood variations are believed to be related mostly to daylight, not temperature. If you live in a climate where daylight hours are shortened (most of these are at northern latitudes, where there is little daylight in the winter) you are most likely to get something like SAD (SAD! - how appropriate - is short for Season Affective Disorder).

SAD is a type of depression that follows the seasons. The most common type of SAD is called winter depression and it has an affect on a lot of people every winter between September and April. During the winter months; December, January and February, there are even more sufferers due to the short days.

We all know that sunlight affects the seasonal activities of animals (i.e., reproductive cycles and hibernation). SAD might be an effect of this seasonal light variation in humans. As seasons change, there is a shift in our “biological clocks”, due partly to these changes in sunlight patterns. This can cause our biological clocks to be out of “step” with our daily schedules.

How to recognize SAD.

Although your symptoms are clues to the diagnosis, not everyone with SAD has the same symptoms. Common symptoms of winter depression include the following:

• Sleep problems: excessive sleeping, difficulty staying awake, in some cases, disturbed sleep and early morning wakening;
• Anxiety: tension and inability to tolerate stress
• Overeating: craving for carbohydrates and sweet foods, usually resulting in weight gain during the fall or winter months;
• Lethargy: feelings of extreme fatigue, inability to maintain regular lifestyle schedule;
• Depression: feelings of sadness, loss of feelings, apathy, feelings of guilt, loss of self-esteem, sometimes despair and hopelessness, combined with irritability ;
• Social problems: lack of interest in social interactions, losing interest in activities of enjoyment;
• Loss of libido: Less interest in sex and physical contact

How to Banish the Blues.

Here are some tips for those of us (yeah, me too) who suffer from SAD as soon as the leaves start to drop. In fact, these tips will help anyone who has occasional spells of mild depression, whether seasonal or not!

1. If you think you have mild SAD, light therapy might be the way to go. Light therapy has been shown to be effective in up to 85 per cent of diagnosed cases. Light boxes are quite expensive so you might want to try some of the other tips first.

2. Try to spend at least ten to fifteen minutes outdoor during the daylight hours. Spending time in nature can be very helpful to. On weekends, take a walk in the woods, visit a park or go to the beach.

3. Make sure you get plenty of exercise (walking is one of the best exercises for depression. It is nearly impossible to think bad thoughts while you are walking briskly), rest, fluids (drink water), and mineral-rich foods. Try oatmeal! Oats are great for mood swings, nerves, and depression. Eat healthier food!

4. Stick to a daily routine. Go to bed on time (preferably before midnight), arrive at work on time, plan your day and make a list of what you want to accomplish and check things off as you accomplish them. Save challenging projects for when you are not fighting (winter) depression

5. Surround yourself with pictures of sunny, colourful scenes. Listen to heart-warming music, watch funny movies and wear warm and comfy clothes in bright colours.

6. Practice smiling: research shows it really helps us to feel more cheerful!

7. If you feel the need…..talk about your SAD. Talk with a friend, a family member or a physician, see a nurse in a clinic or a psychologist. Don’t keep your feelings all bottled up.

8. Decide that the weather can not affect your mood. You cannot change the weather. If the weather is bad, allow a little extra time to get to work. Accept the weather as it is and move on. Don’t forget to enjoy the sunny days as much as possible.

In conclusion, don't give up on yourself and don’t beat yourself up when you’re down, it will only make things worse. There are many ways to ease the symptoms of SAD, some might work and others won’t and hey, if you still feel bad, just yell for help!

They’ve got the power! No, they don’t…….

The other day I was talking with one of my friends about how hard life can be when you are in the process of changing it. Her life hasn’t been easy these last few years but now she is crossing to the sunnier side of the street. Hooray!

Every now and then we talk about stuff that might help her or are bothering her. Other friends call these jokingly our counselling session, but I don’t think they are. It’s all about giving her a few pointers and warn her about the pitfalls she can encounter. Little things like: keep paying attention to your routine the moment you believe you have reached your destination. Sounds strange but the moment you believe you are there, something changes and you start to forget all the things you have learned along the way. When you stop paying attention, you slide back to your original starting point and you have to start all over again (duh…..why do you think it’s called a starting point ;))

The other day we talked mainly about how others treat you when you are in the process of change. Almost everybody has an opinion and most of them are, to put it mildly, not nice. According to my friend the people around her have all the power, they can lift her up and get her down. I disagree with her. If you let others rule your world, you give them the power. However, when you don’t allow them to rule your kingdom, they have no power (over you) at all. Sure they are still going to tell you that you are doing it all wrong, but hey, that’s just fine! Smile and let them know that you are allowed to make mistakes; it’s all part of that great thing called life.

During my depression, people told me that I could never overcome it without drugs or professional help, but I did it. When I was on the up, others told me it wouldn’t last, but it did. And these days’ people are saying I have too much fun (does such a thing exists?). I shouldn’t go to festivals at my age, that’s for young people (so what is young?). But when I say “So I should stay indoors and wait for the day the grim reaper comes for me?” they say I am over exaggerating. I know I am not living an average life, certainly not a life that’s considered (by others) appropriate for my age, but I am enjoying myself immensely. So what’s the problem?

I told my friend to stop caring about what others think or say about her. In the eyes of a lot of others you are never going to do it right. There are so many people around us and somehow they all want you to be the person they want you to be (you have to live up to their expectation and you’ll have to match that mental picture they have created in their head). Only you can never be that person because everybody has a different picture. So you either need to become schizophrenic and create a gazillion different personalities or be just who you want to be. I stopped playing that/their game a long time ago and I choose to be who I wanted to be…. And that’s just plain old me. So ‘who cares’ what they think….if they don’t like me (anymore), their loss :)

---

Reasons to be cheerful:
1. Life and everything in and about it. It can be as simple or complicated as you allow it to be.
2. Silly ideas. The other day I posted a Dutch 'thank you' note on my blog! Somehow that didn’t felt right so I’ve posted it on two other sites too. I'm not quite sure why I did that, but I have that funny ‘gut’ feeling that I needed to do that. So it’s done!
3. Funny comments on flickr like “I thought this was Chewbacca with sunglasses ;)” When I see things like that I can only Laugh out Loud!

Could a depression be a blessing in a very dark disguise?

Last weekend this bizarre question popped into my head and it is probably the weirdest question I’ve ever asked myself. In my case, the answer is yes. My depression really was a blessing in a very dark disguise. I’ve been depressed for a very long time and although things improved over a long period of time, I could never sincerely say: Woo hoo, I’ve conquered my depression. But now, I guess that the time has finally come and so I shout it out: WOO HOO, I’ve conquered my depression!!

This weekend I realized that I never been this happy, relaxed, cheerful, grateful, and optimistic, pleased with myself and my life. A sad realization actually, because that means that for a large part of my life I was just content, miserable, a bit happy or depressed. But hey, that’s the past and I can’t change that, I can only change my future. And if I look at my future now, I realize that thing can only get better.

But let’s go back to my bizarre question. I truly believe that my depression is some sort of blessing, weird isn’t it?. Let me explain. I didn’t always have a great life, bad shit happened to me as a kid and I never dealt with the problems caused by these things. Somewhere in my head was a neat little box in which I stored all the bad nasty things. Very practical! I could deposit everything and nothing ever escaped the box. At least that’s what I thought at the time. Years later however, I noticed that things where escaping the box and they started messing with my happiness at the time. At first only the small things fled the box and I could deal with them at the time, but not much later the really big things cascaded out. I couldn’t handle that and got depressed very quick. For (way to many) months it felt like I was living in a very dark hole and I figured out I had two options:

1) Stay in the darkness for ever.
2) Find some light; surely there must be a way out of this place.

I chose the latter. With the help of friends, tons of selfhelp books/ lifestrategy books and pure perseverance I made it back to the light, the sun, a much happier place. And on my way up I learned about my problems, life, fun, being optimistic, sharing, self-esteem, confidence, caring, the world, being happy and love. I’ve learned so much and I probably will never stop learning. I’m sure, I only took this (life)lessons because I was in that o so very dark place a.k.a. my depression. Funnily enough, I am now grateful for that. I never thought I would say that :) …. ever!

And if you are there now… don’t give up! You will find your way back to the light too. You can make it back the top… remember, the only way is up!