Mind, Body & Soulsession (#23)

Visualizations for insomniacs

Last week we did a bit of exploring into the world of meditation and visualization and today we are going to explore some more. I am going to introduce you to some visualization techniques for insomniacs (or for people who find it very hard to fall a sleep from time to time). Visualizations are very useful for treating insomnia because they help you relax and will reduce stress levels, both very helpful if you want to fall asleep.
Below I will introduce you to two visualizations (or call them exercises, if you want) you can try. You can choose the one that suits you best, or you can make up your own. No matter which one you choose, they both start off in the same way.

To start:
When it is time for bed, get into bed and prepare yourself for a good and relaxing night.
Lie down in a comfortable position, on your back, stomach or side, every position is okay, and try to relax. You can place your hands on your tummy, rest them by your side or put them under your pillow, whatever feels best. Keep your eyes open for now.
Now are you ready, lets go….

Take a deep slow breath through your nose and release it slowly through your slightly opened mouth, like blowing a kiss or blowing out smoke. Exhale fully!
Take another deep slow breath, deeper this time, count up to 8 and fill your lungs all the way. Release it again, very slowly and gently through the mouth, counting up to 8 again.
Close your eyes relax and feel the stress disappear while you’re breathing out.
Take another, deep breath just like the one before. In through the nose, count up to 8, hold it for a second and breath out through the mouth again.
As you exhale, try to relax your muscles, not just one, but every muscle in your body.
If this feels good already you can keep doing this until you fall asleep, but you can also go to the visualizations. Just pick the one you like best and continue. Eyes closed....start visualizing!

Visualization 1
Forget about the bed; imagine yourself lying on a warm, peaceful exotic beach.
Activate all your senses. Feel the sun on your face, hear the waves gently lapping on the shore and try to breathe slow and deep, in time with the waves. You can just lie there or you can even lie in a hammock if you want (feel the gentle sway of the hammock). Whatever you choose, just lie there and relax. After a while walk up to water and feel the warm sand between your toes. You can go for a walk, if you feel like it, or you can go for a swim, the water isn’t going to be cold, it’s your visualization remember, you can make it as hot or cold as you want. Feel the water caressing your body. When you are done walking or swimming it’s time for some additional relaxation. Visualize an air mattress, no you won’t have to inflate it, that’s already done. Place it on the waves and get on it. Lie in a comfy position and float. Smell the sea, taste the salt on your lips, smell the sun lotion (or leave this part out….you can’t get sunburned in a visualization anyway), hear the birds. Listen, smell and experience everything around you. Now slowly let yourself drift, float on the warm waves, drift, drift, feel the breeze on your skin, hear the wave and the splashing of water, experience your tranquil surroundings….. drift, drift of to sleep.
Sweet dreams!!

(I like to use this visualization when I go to the dentist too, only I’ll stay awake then. In that case I just float around on my air mattress enjoying the scenery, forgetting about the horror that’s going on inside my mouth).

Visualization 2.
Imagine yourself leaving a party. The party was in a penthouse on the hundredth floor. You had an amazing night, which you’ve spent with family, friends, celebrities or your boy-/girlfriend, whatever you pick will do. You are the last to go. One more time you glance outside and watch all the light of the city. Next you’ll get your coat and kiss the host(ess) goodbye and you will leave. Outside the door is a corridor, visualize it. At the end of the corridor you will find the elevator which will take you down. Walk toward (create your surroundings whilst walking over) the elevator and push the button. Ping! The elevator is there. Create the inside of the elevator while the doors open. Listen, is there any music playing, does it smell nice, what are the walls like, and how about the floor? Now get in and look for the elevator panel, study it. Give it the look you like. Done? Now press the button for the ground floor, no fooling around here……you are not allowed to hit every button there is ;)
The doors close as you get a last glimpse of the corridor you just created. Feel the elevator move; you are going down in a nice gentle motion. Look for the light that indicates which floor you are on and start counting backwards accordingly. Here we go, that’s floor 99…(breath in)…, floor 98…(exhale slowly)..zzzzz floor 97…… (breath in slowly and deeply)…….floor 96…..(exhale slowly) and so on. While you feel yourself going down, go with the flow, feel the motion. Continue counting, keep visualizing and breathing deeply and slowly. When you are ready just let yourself drift off.
Sleep well!

Just stir …..and that’s it!

I think I’ve to visit Belgium soon. Why? Because! Kidding…. I’ve found a very interesting, new product online the other day which I, of course, would like to sample. Who knows, you might want to do the same after you have read the rest :)

Do you love dark milk chocolate, based on bitter chocolate? Or milk chocolate with just a hint of sweetness? Or are you more likely to choose a marriage between nuts and chocolate? No, still not a thing you would fancy? Well, how about this one then: Cointreau…..a novel combination of orange liqueur and bitter chocolate? What am I talking about? I am talking about Choc-o-lait here, the new way to make hot chocolate in an instant.
The concept is new and original. They have created something that looks like a chocolate lollypop. It’s a wooden stick with a Belgian chocolate on one end, which rapidly melts in a cup of hot milk. Man, that must result in the best hot-chocolate ever!

Hmmz… not willing to travel to Belgium? Well, you could always make your own hot cocoa. Just put some cocoa in a cup, add some lukewarm milk (not too much) and stir until you have a smooth mix. Add some sugar and steaming hot milk. Of course you can add some whipped cream on top or some marshmallows. You could also use chocolate sauce or syrup. But you probably knew that already, so here is an alternative hot chocolate…..which is very yummy too!

Cocos – Cocoa

Serves: 4
Preparation time: 15 minutes.
Ingredients:
500 ml ready made/store bought chocolate milk
100 ml coconut milk
25 gr. Dark (bitter) chocolate
4 table spoons Malibu Coconut liqueur
Whipped cream
½ table spoon of grated coconut.

Also needed: 4 mugs and a grater

How to:
Put the chocolate milk and coconut milk in a saucepan
Bring it almost to a boil
In the meantime grate the chocolate
Put a spoon full of Malibu in each mug
Pour the hot chocolate/coconut milk on top of that
Add the whipped cream and garnish with the grated coconut and chocolate.

Enjoy!!

What's next?

I am having a bit of a lousy week. It all started last Sunday. One of my friends was willing to lend me his camera so I could take some "real" photos (most of my pics are taken with my cell phone). I had planned to go to the oldest cemetery in the area. Call me weird, but I like old cemeteries, especially in autumn. There was a time I visited cemeteries every time I went on holiday just to see how other people and cultures honoured their dead.
Sunday, I thought, was the perfect day to visit the old cemetery I had never visited before. The threatening clouds looked just perfect for moody pictures and the fallen leaves would hopefully give the photos just a little bit extra appeal.

Well, I am never going to find out if I was right. When I got to the cemetery the gate was locked. As it turned out, you can only visit these dead folks during office-hours. I was quite flabbergasted because I always assumed that cemeteries only closed between sunset and sunup. And, come on, a lot of people go to the cemetery during the weekends, don’t they?
I wanted to photograph the signs on the gate with the gravestones in the back, but I wasn’t even able to do that. The dead must have had a strange effect on the camera because it went dead right there and then. Of course I panicked. ‘Oh, my got, I’ve ruined the camera. I am going to end up here in the next few days because my friend is going to kill me! OMG just imagine, me lying here and people can only visit me during office-hours. So, no one is ever going to come and visit me…’ I thought to myself.

With my head hanging down I returned to my friend’s home. ‘Back so soon?’ he asked. ‘Yes, because I’ve broken your camera’ I blurted out. ‘No way’ he said ‘did you drop it?’ ‘No, of course not, it just isn’t working!’ ‘Did you check the batteries, before you went’ I had and they were full when I left home. He tried to turn the camera on, but it still wasn’t working. He opened the battery compartment and started to laugh. I can almost hear you thinking ‘oh, the compartment was empty………’ Nooooo, it was NOT!! As it turned out he had given me his old rechargeable batteries. You can recharge them all you want, but they just stay almost empty. You can turn the camera on once and after that they are empty again. *sigh* But at least the camera was all right.

On Monday my cell phone died, or sort of died. I was able to turn it on but the display wasn’t working right. I had to reset the thing, download new software, of course I had to install that and I had it working again after a couple of hours.

Yesterday, my PC went on strike, whatever I tried it just wasn’t willing to start up. When I finally got it working again Photoshop was acting really weird. Luckily I was able to straighten that out again. Hooray!! Sorry about that, I just can’t live without Photoshop (or any other graphic design software, for that matter) ;)

And today, after enjoying just 4 hours of sleep last night, I really messed up an application form I needed to fill in for a temporary job in December. I spilled my tea all over it. Luckily I was able to save most of it and restore the rest, but it took me most of the afternoon.

So, now I am wondering, what’s next? Hopefully nothing….fingers crossed, hey. It almost feels like I am cursed or something. Maybe I shouldn't have gone to the cemetery.*sigh*
Ah, forget it, let’s just be positive, because after all this....

Things can only get better!!! :)

Cartoon Tuesday: Ouch! (not for sensitive people)

Just a little poem

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#22)

Take a breather and visualize!

The average person has approximately 60,000 thoughts a day. The thoughts we have may vary. They can be positive, negative, we can control and be aware of them but many of these thoughts are uncontrollable simply because we are not aware of them. They just do their own thing in the back of your head.

Next to that we have the tendency to imagine different worst-case scenarios. How many times have you thought about what would happen if you lost your partner, your child, or parents? Or what would happen if you lost your job, or got sick? I am sure you have spent a lot of time and some of the 60,000 thoughts on worst case scenarios. Well written scenarios, in full colour, with all the doom and gloom that goes with it.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could spend the same amount of time and energy imagining something positive and satisfying? Well, here is the good news, all of us, with a little help, can change our way of thinking around. They say that the body follows where the mind goes, so why not lead the mind in the right direction (no GPS needed for this exercise!). When you change your way of thinking, you will feel happier, better and healthier. So, today it’s time for an alternative route. We’re going to concentrate on using the power of our minds to guide us to places where we actually want to be and we are going to accomplish this through meditation and visualisation. Visualisation allows us to see other possibilities and meditations allows us to slow down our thoughts so we can really see what is going on in ourselves and where we want to go.

Meditation means deliberately choosing to concentrate on something other than the thoughts which keep running in your head. Its most basic form involves following your breath. Sounds simple, but it’s actually quite difficult. This exercise starts with 5 minutes of meditation, followed by 10 min of visualisation and ends with a couple of minutes of meditating. Of course you can change the amount of time if you want too. If you have a timer, set it so you won’t have to watch the clock.

Find a quiet, private and comfortable place with minimal distractions. If you want, you can use your sanctuary . You can do this exercise sitting or lying down, but you can also do it whilst walking, just in case you prefer multitasking.
If you want, sit cross legged (don’t worry you don’t have to do the full lotus position if you can’t) on the floor with a pillow, cushion or blanket under you. If you can’t do the cross legged position, stretch your legs out in front of you. Keep your spine tall and lifted, sitting with your back against the wall or a straight backed chair might help. Place your hands in a restful position on your thighs. You can close your eyes when your mind is racing a million miles a minute, but you can also keep your eyes open when you are tired. When you chose to meditate with your eyes open, focus your gaze on a spot on the floor (about ½ meters in front of you) or on the wall.

Now spend 5 minutes focussing on your breathing. As you inhale, say silently ‘inhale’, as you exhale say ‘exhale’ to yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself, when your mind starts to wander, which will almost certainly happen, just return to where you left off ‘inhale’ in and ‘exhale’ out again!

After (about) 5 minutes stop focussing on your breath and start visualizing something positive, for example:

• Imagine yourself going on a dream trip,
• See yourself working through a difficult problem,
• Imagine yourself getting the dream job your after,
• See yourself healthier if you are experiencing health problems,
• Envision someone who infuriates you finding happiness,
• Envision yourself finding happiness,
• Imagine yourself up when you are down,
• See yourself finding solutions for an unsolvable dilemma,
• Imagine a difficult conversation going well.

Oh, and if you have no difficulties or problems, just visualize yourself lying on a tropical beach, on top of a mountain, or with your feet in a gentle stream (whatever you fancy, will do)
Think of visualisation as a magical mini mental vacation. You can go anywhere you like within your mind and you can look differently at existing problems.

Anyway, this is your party so you decide which scenario you want to visualize. See the details of a situation, explore options, you might even want to explore options you wouldn’t normally take and watch yourself work through it or just enjoy the ride if you have chosen the relaxing visualisation.

When time is up, focus on the breathing again. Say ‘inhale’ and ‘exhale’ a couple of minutes more and when you are done, open your eyes (if closed) or divert your eyes elsewhere (if you focused on a spot) and gently stretch your legs and arms and when you are ready, carefully stand up……and go on with the rest of your day.

From Dakota's book of fairy tales - The sequel

Inside she offered him some refreshments and a place to sit and all of a sudden she realised that it had been a while since she had company. ‘Yes, it has been while’ the messenger said. ‘Did I just say that out loud’ the lady asked whilst thinking ‘I must be losing my marbles’. ‘No’ the messenger said ‘I just know things!’ enjoying his little pie she had given him.
In the mean time the lady wasn’t able to enjoy any of it. She was eagerly awaiting his important message. At one point she just couldn’t stand it anymore, so she straightforward asked him ‘you said you had an important message for me, so what is it?’ ‘Oh’ the man said, while swallowing the last bit of pie ‘I’m here to tell you about this great invention called the internet!’ The lady looked at him rather puzzled. ‘What about it?’ ‘Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s out there and I love it’ ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’ the lady said ‘that’s has been out there for ages now, how can that be so important. That’s nothing new!’ By the time she finished her last words she had turned quite red in the face and was feeling a bit frustrated. She had actually trusted this messenger; let him into her house, offered him refreshments and now he was telling her something this ridiculous…grrrr..how annoying! The messenger looked at her with a pleased grin on his face. Oh, she just couldn’t stand it anymore. ‘Well, if that’s all you have to say, I think it’s is time you left. I would rather be alone now’. The messenger just nodded and said ‘I know you want me to leave and I also know that you would rather be alone.’

‘Actually, now that we are on the subject, your loneliness is, in fact, the reasons why I’m here. I came here today to warn you, so listen very carefully! ‘For the last couple of years, you’ve been living here all by yourself, all safe and neatly tucked away from the outside world.
Unfortunately you haven’t been living at all, you just merely existed’.
The woman started to utter some objections, but the man just shushed her. ‘Don’t object, just listen’ he said and continued ‘in order to live life and exist you can’t shut yourself away from the outside world. When you do that, you are missing out on too many things. Can you even remember the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to pee your pants? Can you remember the last time you had diner with a friend? Or how about, a simple nice chat? According to my information it has been a while!’ The lady’s face had turned from red to a light shade of white by now. It all sounded so right, so she nodded slowly. ‘You are right’ she said ‘but there is a reason for that. Every time I go out, every time I open the door and let somebody in, every time I’ve trust someone, I’m the one who’s getting hurt. And quite frankly, I’m getting sick and tired of getting hurt, sick of all the distrust, all the arguments and sorrow.’ ‘Oh, you have a point there’ the messenger said ‘that’s all out there in the great evil outside world! But don’t you miss all the fun stuff? Your friends, other people, the laughs, the chats, the smiles, the companionship, hugs & kisses, or how about touching another human being?’ The lady slowly nodded again. She had been missing all that stuff for some time now. ‘Can’t I have one without the other?’ she asked, ‘Isn’t it possible to only have the fun bits?’ ‘No’, the messenger said ‘because that won’t be living life either’. ‘Man, this is complicated’ she said and she sighed.

They sat quietly for a while. Then she asked ‘Is that the important message you have for me? That I can’t have one without the other?’ ‘No, my message to you is this, you have to start living again, take some chances, get out there or else you are going to die a lonely old lady one day’ he said. ‘Life is out there, waiting for you to join in and I can tell you this…..everything out there is so much better than everything in here. Even the air is fresher outside’ he said while he sniffed. She sighed again, wondering what to do with this information. Then she said ‘but I can’t just go out there, I’ve been indoors too long. I probably will get sick and if I won’t get sick there will be other problems…..I don’t know anyone out there. People here, don’t know me, I haven’t spoken to my friends in ages. I can’t just walk out there and say Hello world, I am the lady of the house, now can I?’ ‘Yes, you can! All that is needed is a bit of guts’ he said while he handed her some nuts. ‘Have the guts, to go nuts’ he added with a big smile on his face. ‘You know, you have started a war against life and that is something you can do all by yourself. For peace you need two parties and that’s why I am here. I am here to represent life in this case. Together we are going to make peace’. The lady still looked at him in disbelief and sighed ‘maybe in the morning. I don’t think I can do that today. ’ ‘No, not tomorrow, you have to start working on this today. You’ve been waiting too long…..just believe in yourself and get out there. The world and life is waiting for you.’ ‘Hmm, maybe life is but I am not so sure about the world….’ she said. ‘Of course, you’ll see, just grab your coat and lets go’ the messenger said. She hesitated a bit longer and asked herself ‘do I really want to go out there again? Do I really need all that? Who needs to live life anyway? But if I don’t live I might as well be dead right now! And besides, didn’t this guy just show me I can just as easily be hurt and disappointed in my own house too. What do I have to lose?’

‘Right’ the messenger said ‘let’s go!’ He helped her in her coat, handed her a scarf and some gloves while they walked in the direction of the door. ‘Oh, wait a moment, there is something else you need to know before we go. The people outside think you are living in a castle.’ ‘Huh, as you can see, I live in a normal house! My home is my castle, but that’s all. Like I said, and as you can see, this place has no castle characteristics at all. Why would they think such a thing?’ ‘Well, they think you are unapproachable and that’s why they can only see the castle now. You are known as the lady of the castle. When you look down from your bedroom window, they see you looking down on them from a tower.’ ‘How odd’ she said. ‘Yeah, I know! I even had to pretend a bit when I came here. When I asked for directions, people kept directing me towards a castle and I have been searching for a castle ever since, but wasn’t able to find it until it finally became clear to me that they saw a castle that didn’t existed. So, I prepared a whole song and dance to get in here’ ‘Aha, that’s what all the racket was about?’ ‘Yup, now let’s go…..I’ve some other stuff that’s need to be done today as well’.

They walked towards the door, the lady just a couple of steps behind the messenger. It really looked like she was pretty unsure about the whole thing. The messenger reached for the doorknob but then she stopped him while his hand was nearly there. The lady obviously had caught up with him when she did that ;). ‘You know, maybe this isn’t such a good idea’ ‘Now hold on, you can’t back out now! You’re nearly there’ ‘Oh’ she laughed ‘I’m not changing my mind. I just think that this is a big step and if anybody has to take it, it’s gotta be me!’ Her hand reached for the knob and she turned it. Slowly she opened the squeaking door and looked outside. ‘Oh, that looks nice” she said surprised and ‘smell that fresh air. I want to go out right now’ ‘Well, go on then, what are you waiting for’ the man said. And with a hop, a skip and a jump the lady was outside, breathing in as much of the fresh air as she possibly could right that instant. The people outside looked at it in wonder. Who was that lady? They had never seen her before. Was it possible that that was the lady of the castle? No!! It couldn’t be her! In unison they looked up at the castle and stood there in awe. Where once had stood a castle there now was an ordinary house. Could that be? One person passed the lady and touched the house in disbelieve. ‘Ehmm’ he stuttered ‘arrrre you the lady of the castle?’ ‘No, I am the lady of the house’ she replied with a big grin on her face. ‘See, there is no castle, just a house and oh, by the way, my name is Caithleen, what’s yours?’ ‘Martin! Nice to meet you Caithleen’ he said. The other people came closer and they all started to introduce themselves.
It didn’t take long, after a short period of time people were chatting happily but then Caithleen realised that she hadn’t seen the man anymore. She looked around, ‘where is he?’ she thought. ‘Maybe he’s still inside the house?’ She excused herself and walked towards the door. She didn’t had to enter the house though, because right there on the doormat, exactly where she had last seen him, was a note and all it said was:
“Don’t ever lock yourself away again; don’t ever throw away the key,
They say “If you love someone, set them free”;
I would like to change that into: If you love yourself, set yourself free.
Love life and live to love.
Enjoy the great outdoors!!

I'll be seeing you”

*THE END*

From Dakota's book of Fairy Tales.

Once upon a time there was this lovely lady who lived, like others, in a house. It was no ordinary house, some people suggested it was more like a manor, others would say it looked more like a castle, but to the lady of the house it was just a house, her home! She wasn’t aware of the fact that others thought she lived in a castle. To the outside world her property was surrounded by a big thick wall with towers, a moat and when you wanted to knock on her front door, you had a bit of a problem when the drawbridge was up. When the lady had just move in the neighbours just ignored all that, they were a friendly bunch, willing to welcome the lady to their neighbourhood with open arms. They persistently knocked on the ladies door, or yelled out to get her attention when the drawbridge was up, but after a while they just gave up. At first the lady of the house didn’t noticed it, she was happily protected in her own home, but after a while she started to wonder: ‘what was going on out there, why was there no one knocking on her door anymore? Was everybody gone?’ She just couldn’t understand it. So one day she went up to her bedroom and glanced outside. She discovered the people were still there, nothing had changed, they just didn’t come knocking anymore. Strange, she thought to herself. The outside world however, saw the lady, standing on top of one of her towers, looking down and they thought ‘what is she looking at; she made it perfectly clear she wants to be on her own’. So, they just ignored her and life went on!

Some time had passed and one day people saw a man walking up to the moat, as always the drawbridge was up. The people talked among themselves. Maybe they should warn this man. His life wasn’t in any grave danger or anything, but everybody knew that he wasn’t going to be welcome. They decided not to bother him, it’s wasn’t any of their business anyway. So, they got on with their day-to-day lives.
The man heard all the whispers but just ignored them. He walked up to the moat and stood there for a second wondering what to do next. First he thought about swimming across the moat but he soon discovered there wouldn’t be any point to that. No matter how hard he looked, he couldn’t find an opening to get into the castle. One other point that made him decide against swimming was the water temperature. ‘Way to cold this time of year!’ he thought. He decided to call out to the lady of the house; after all, he had a pretty important message to convey. So he called out once which resulted in no response. He tried again; a bit louder this time, but still there was no answer. One lady, passing him by, suggested yelling. And he yelled! And he yelled again, a bit louder this time, but still nothing. ‘Is the lady deaf or something’ he wondered out loud. ‘No’ a man, walking his dog, assured him ‘she just isn’t paying any attention to the outside world’. ‘How peculiar’ the messenger thought to himself. A good thing he was known to be stubborn. He looked around, maybe there was something lying around, anything would be nice just as long as it could help him. A noisy horn, a sound van, a big rock or even fireworks would be welcomed with wide open arms by now. Alas, nothing! The only thing lying around was a long pole. ‘Hmm… maybe that will do’ he thought. At first he considered using the pole as a vaulting pole, but he quickly decided against it. With today’s luck, he would probably go splat against the thick wall. No, he opted for another strategy; he would use the pole as a battering ram/or a very noisy doorknocker. He walked away from the castle and then started running towards the moat, pole at the ready. Success depended merely on letting go at the right moment. His luck must have been changing while he was running, because just moments after he had let go he heard a loud, and not easy to ignore, noise. Just after the big bang, he saw a little hatch open up. ‘What’s going on out there’ the lady asked. ‘Oh, please don’t shoot the messenger’ the man said ‘I do apologize but I have an important message for you, the lady of the house’! She looked flabbergasted, so much racket just to deliver a message.'That must be some message' she thought. She just stood there for a while but eventually decided, after careful consideration, to lower the drawbridge and the messenger happily crossed it, leaving the other people, who had also heard the commotion, in awe.

*To Be Continued*

Dance4Life - Start Dancing, Stop AIDS!

Dance4Life is a growing, worldwide project to fight back HIV and AIDS by dancing. Yesterday I saw their new commercial and I love it!!


You too can become actively involved in Dance4Life. How?
Just visit Dance4Life for information.

Cartoon Tuesday: How to handle criticism ;)

Old style romance and a lovely house.

When the days get shorter and the evenings longer, the temperatures drop and the heating is on, it’s time for some cosy candlelight and a little bit of romance. Alas, there is no one to cuddle up to at the moment, so I tried some artificial romance…….I watched the movie “The Lake House” this weekend. It is a very cute and romantic movie which reminded me of those old b/w movies I used to watch with my Mum. Remember those movies, when a kiss was nothing more then the touching of lips :). Anyway, in “The Lake House” the lips touch too (just a few times), but in a more convincing way. I am not going to write a review here, there are other people out there who are much better at it. I just wanted you to know that I liked the movie a lot and that it warmed my soul and my heart :). By the way, I like this comment I found about this movie, because it actually says it all “Like all good romantic movies there's a man and a woman, a beautiful house on the lake and a cuddly dog. Good dialogue, great direction, sweet cinematography and good acting -- even by Keanu.”

What I absolutely loved about this movie was the lake house itself.

As you can see, it’s no ordinary house; it’s an unusual beautiful house! A beautiful refuge of light and glass suspended over the water and totally in touch with the lake and its surroundings. The center bit of the roof can slide open and directly under that is a lovely living tree. Although it's not really big, I could actually see myself living in such a place. Can you imaging yourself sitting there, having breakfast while the sun comes up or eating diner, while the sun goes down. You would have your own private swimming pool/skating rink right outside your door. In my opinion it’s an amazing place and it has an extraordinary design, but not the kind of design everyone would fall for I guess. Some people might think it’s a bit too industrial and too cold, but I think the building still has enough charm to give it a warm feel (must be the colour they used on the outside and the old ornaments that are used on the inside which reminded me of old English greenhouse).

Well, after watching the movie I was curious: Does this house actually exist and if so, who designed it. Luckily the internet provided me with some, although somewhat disappointing, answers. The house did exist …. for the duration of filming. When filming wrapped, nothing was left behind. Such a shame!!

The house stood along the serene, 55-acre man-made Maple Lake in Cook County, Illinois and was designed by production designer Nathan Crowley. He was the 2005 BAFTA and Art Directors Guild Award nominee and the third generation of men in his family to hold a degree in architecture. The roots of the design lie in the 1960s glass box style, but they also drew inspiration from the Regency Period, a style popular in England in the early to mid-1800s, to add romance and elegance to the overall look.

They built the house in just seven weeks and it measured more than 2,000 square feet and sat atop steel beams ten feet above the waterline. The massive project used 35 tons of steel and employed a near 100 member crew of carpenters, welders and painters. For the build they collaborated with veteran Chicago construction coordinator Troy Osman.

Oh and in case you are wondering….. they didn’t drove piles into the lake bed to support the structure, no they did not, they opted for concrete pads. They created a temporary dam and they actually built the house next to the lake. When all building work was done, they broke the dam and flooded the underside of the house. And like I said earlier it was all removed as soon filming wrapped…..nothing was left behind. It’s a crying shame!

Mind, Body & Soul Session (#21)

Take a walk on the wild side ….outside!

The wind is blowing, trees are swaying, leaves change colour and fall to the ground. When you think about it, autumn actually is the most beautiful season of the year. So, why stay indoors when there is so much to see outside. Go for a walk, ride a bike and let the fresh air fill your lungs!

Nature is good for you, especially this time of year when it gets colder and darker outside. I know it’s very tempting to stay indoors where it’s warm and comfy, but please don’t! Get your butt outside :). All the colours, fresh air and daylight will do you a world of good.

So, today go for a breath of fresh air, even if you don’t have to go out at all. Go for a walk on the beach and let the wind blow all your worries away. Take a walk in the forest, be a kid again and kick leaves to your heart’s content. Observe wildlife, look for wild and edible mushroom (only eat them if you are sure they are safe), collect leaves in all shapes and colours, look for “owl pellets” or how about chestnuts. Take your camera out and shoot anything you fancy. Just a few things you can do outdoors this autumn.

Spending at least 30 minutes outside will improve your mood considerably, you will feel a lot better, you will feel healthier and you will also burn a few calories in the process. What more could you want?

Hmmz… what’s that I hear calling your name? Oh, hold on, it’s the great outdoors calling……..

Have a great Sunday!

Robbie’s Rudebox became Dakota’s trip down memory lane.

Not sure about this title because according to the urban dictionary a rudebox means a dog’s ass….but hey, that’s besides the point! Ehmm….point, that reminds me of a round shape, which reminds me of a ball and oh, a game! So, if you are not interested in music, skip to the end of this post….there is a game waiting for you!

The other day one of my friends left a couple of CD’s behind for me to listen to and one of them was “Rudebox” by Robbie Williams. Hmmz….not exactly my cup of tea, I thought.
I am not a huge Robbie fan (I guess I’m too old for that) and I didn’t like the single “Rudebox” all that much, so the CD stayed in the same spot as it was dropped in the first place.

Yesterday however, the same friend came by to collect the CD’s again and asked if I’d listened to them all and if so, what did I think of them (for some reason my opinion seem to matter ;)). We talked about most of the CD’s but I meticulously left Robbie out of the discussion. My friend is no fool and quickly discovered that I hadn’t listened to it and reprimanded me. Bad Dakota….shame on you!! (Foei!…as we would say in Dutch).
After a while my friend had to go, I made sure he had all his CD’s (check!) and then waved goodbye.

I was quite astonished to find Rudebox near my PC with a post-it on it saying “Listen to it…..now!”. I, the ever docile Dakota, thought “Okay, if you insist”. I skipped the first song, which is “Rudebox” btw and then was pleasantly surprised by the rest of the CD. Okay, the first few tracks are a bit lame, but when you get to track 4 you are in for a surprise, a cover of Manu Chao’s Bongo Bong. Remember that one? The song is pretty much the same as the original, but I do like the added vocals of Lily Allen (ever listened to Alright still? Great CD!)

The fifth song reminded me of the 80’s electronic music era and is called “She’s Madonna” and is a song about……well, Madonna! (or Madge! as some of us like to call her). From there on it’s a lot of 80’s and 90’s music and you can’t help but thinking “Hey, I know this!”. Remember “Hotel, Motel, Holiday inn”, a line used in “Rappers delight” by the Sugarhill Gang? Do you remember the Human League? Philip Oakey’s hair (which is gone now)? I hate to admit it, but I actually liked the Human League way back then. Anyway, their song “Louise” is on this album. Or how about Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy's "Kiss Me (with your mouth)"? “What have I done to deserve this” by the Pet Shop Boys? Man, they say you are getting old when you can remember the original songs…...well, I guess I am pretty ancient! :)
Oh, almost forgot, there are two other songs I kind of like too "the 80s" and "90s” in which Robbie looks back on his life!

Like I said, I was pleasantly surprised by the CD. I’ve listened to it a couple of times now and I actually like it. Why,? Because it’s different, he is even rapping (or should I say..attempting to rap) on this album! No “Angel” or “Feel” clones, Robbie chose the road less travelled, a big step but I think he should explore this road further.

Oh…. Almost forgot about the game! Want to do a little bit exploring of your own? Try this annoying little came. It’s a simple game, just keep two balls in the air ;)

<-- Click the Pic to play! Good luck ;)
(You can change the language on the left)

Cue autumn!!

Only 7 days ago I was wondering if the summer was ever going to end…….Well, it did two days ago and quite abruptly too. It’s almost as if turning back the clock to winter time (standard time) had something to do with it. One week ago, we still had a lovely 22 degrees and today’s high is 8ºC. Brrrr! I am freezing! This abrupt weather change is a shock to the (/my) system. I am cold…..oh, I already said that!....And the last couple of days I’ve been feeling a bit lousy, a bit like you feel when you are going to get sick or something. I rarely get sick, so apparently my body is just trying to adjust to these new temperatures. I secretly asked it if it was done yet, but as it turns out, the answer is NO! It’s chilly!! Oh….. I already mentioned that too. Man, this post is going absolutely nowhere. So I won’t bore you any longer. You are welcome to sit by the fire

while I put my summer clothing in storages and get out the warm wool sweaters, shawls, winter coats, gloves, boots, warm pants and long johns. After that I’ll go to shop to get some cocoa and some candles and then I think it’s time to finally say……AUTUMN is here!!

Stay warm!!

Show me your shopping trolley and I tell you who you are!

I don’t know if I could actually do that, but I think the content of a shopping trolley can convey a lot about a person. You can tell if they receive a big pay check every month or are shopping on a budget. Do people lead a busy life, or not! You can find out if people cook, or not – the members of the microwave posse! You can tell if people eat healthy, or are more into snacks. And you can tell if people are on a diet or not. Oh, and of course you can tell if people are single or part of a (large) family.
Strangely enough I’d never noticed or thought about that before. I just recently discovered the pleasure of examening other peoples shopping carts…..call me weird ;)

On Saturday’s a lot of people do their weekly shopping (guess you already knew that), which automaticly results in long queues at the supermarket checkout (bet you already knew that too). So, if it’s at all possible I don’t go to the supermarket on Saturday, but most of the time I need to go and get something so, I will end up in the long queues :( In the past this could really ruin my day, but not anymore! First I changed the whole shopping experience by taking my iPod along (tip: make sure you have inspiring and uplifting music on there). I know it’s not very social, but this way I don’t have to listen to the screaming kids, arguing couples and sighing husbands. One note of caution though….make sure you don’t sing along and don’t, I repeat DON’T dance in the aisles, people will look at you funny. Oh, and don’t put Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake on it, it makes you walk like a catwalk model.

As soon as I enter the queue, I strike a relaxing pose (No, not a Vogue one ;)) and start people watching, still with the ipod on of course…..I don’t want to listen to all the sighing and complaining that’s going on! You wouldn’t expect it but the supermarket is a great place for people watching. When I get bored with that, I turn to examening shopping trolleys and it is astonishing what you can find there. So many carts, so many different items, and still so many trolleys that look the same. A lot of people seem to feel guilty when grocery shopping. On the one end of their trolley they have a lot of unhealthy food like: crisps, cookies, cakes, food that needs to be deep-fried, chocolate, pastries, ice-cream, softdrinks, candy bars, desserts, coffee and so on and so on. In the middle there is the stuff that everyone needs like: toiletpaper, dertergent, shampoo, bread, milk etc. Almost ¾ of most carts are already filled now, but there is a little bit of space left for the stuff that I like to call “make up for” food. The food that reduces the guilty feeling. In that section you are most likely to find some fruit, 1 or 2 kinds of (fresh) vegetables, cholesterol-lowering products (yoghurts, margarine, cheese etc.), artificial sweeteners, the light version of soft drinks, decaf coffee and bottled water. In my opinion people would not need so much of this stuff if they would only buy half (or less) of the bad stuff. But hey, I am not with the food police ……

Anyway, all this made me wonder about my own groceries. What do they tell about me? Hmmz… I don’t use a trolley but a basket so that would probably tell that I don’t buy a lot of groceries and that would probably mean that I am not part of a large family. My basket is usually filled with healthy food and necessities (store brands only), in small amounts, this most likely tells people that I am single, shop on a budget and don’t like junk food. Oh, and it would probably say that I do like coffee and tea because I buy coffee and tea a lot. So, I am curious, what does your shopping trolley (/basket) say about you?

Happy Halloween ;)

Have fun!

A different cartoon on Cartoon Tuesday!

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#20)

Top tips to fix your state of mind.

Mend your mood, change your way of thinking, boost your positivity and feel better about yourself with these tips.

Sit still and observe.
During a stressful period, take 5 minutes to sit still and observe your own mind at work. Simply watch your thoughts and feelings without judgment and separate yourself from your negative emotions without suppressing them. View them as an outsider would. No need for judgement, no need to do anything with them, just let them come and go!

Rest and relax.
A lot of people these days are sleep-deprived and overworked. They are exhausted, burned out and moody. Don’t let this happen to you. The next time you feel miserable, moody, cranky or sad and depressed, listen to your body. How tired are you really? Tired!? Start to relax and let go (if only for a couple of minutes). Take a yoga class, visit a sauna, read a book for a couple of minutes, lie down…… just go for it! You will feel better and will work more efficiently.

Be nurturing, be kind.
Sometimes when things are really hard and life really sucks, it’s hard to put on a happy face. Putting on a happy face at these times can be even worse then letting yourself go. At those times, be nice and gentle to yourself and look for the nurturing person inside you. The kind of person who says, “Go ahead, feel what you need to feel, feel your feelings, this isn’t the end of the world. Things will look better in the morning”, “Bad days exists so that you will appreciate the good days even more”. Don’t be too hard on yourself and give yourself permission to go with the flow. Treat yourself to a nice meal, take a nap, give yourself a long hot bath, make some hot chocolate and add some whipped cream.

Make contact with another living being.
No, I am not talking about calling a friend are talking with someone. No, I actually mean make contact…….touch someone in a comforting way. Ask for a hug from a loved one (or a stranger, if you have the guts), get a haircut or a facial, get a massage or take a ballroom dancing class. Pet your dog, rabbit, cat or hamster. Don’t underestimate the power of the physical touch.

List 5 things.
List 5 things you love with all your senses and see how your mood improves by simply writing down 25 answers. Write 5 endings to these sentences:
"I love the sound of…………..”
"I love the sight of…………..”
"I love the smell of…………..”
"I love the feel of…………..”
"I love the taste of…………..”

Consult an elder.
There was a time when you had to visit the “tribal elders” for a piece of wisdom. In this day and age we live in a time where the wisest things ever said, thought, or written are available to all of us. Safe your favourite quotes from wise people in a place where you can see them (often). Write them in your diary, stick them on your refrigerator, keep them on your desktop, or make a welcoming message out of them on your phone. Store books that will lift you spirit on your bedside table, where they are available to be read and reread often. Spend a few minutes with your gathered wisdom when your mood needs lifting.

Collect items that make you laugh.
Collect a stack of items that make you laugh and keep them in your house or workplace. A DVD might do the trick, or a funny picture, stand-up comedy, books, a cartoon, a funny website, or the phone number of your funniest friend. When you are feeling down, spend 15 minutes (or until you can at least crack a smile) with your stack of laughter.

Lend a helping hand.
Feeling powerless/helpless is a main part of depression and anger, but there is no need for that. You might think that the power lies in being able to command others into helping you, but that’s not true. In reality it’s the other way around. People who are helped feel less powerful, while helpers feel more powerful. Helping out others will give your self-esteem a real boost. Start lending a helping hand.

20 things you are grateful for.
Yup, another list thingy. Think of 20 things you are thankful for and name them out loud. After you are done, think of 20 more and never repeat yourself. What? You can’t do it? Sure you can, you just not trying hard enough :) Start with the obvious; for example, give thanks for your ability to feel, smile, smell, love, cry, taste, hear, the sun, seasons, rain, wind, your friends, friendship, family, Snow Patrol, teardrops apples, pictures, music, and art. Oh, hmm…. You are not grateful for those things? Well, if you think you can do this better, come up with your own list then. Go ahead, the possibilities are endless!

Feeling lonely?

Are you wandering online by yourself a lot? Well, maybe it’s time for a PDA! Yes a PDA a Personal Digital Assistant! And I am not talking about a little gizmo computer which you can store in your inside pocket …....No, I am talking about a real Lady here: Ms. Dewey. This spirited, saucy lady is an online specialist pur-sang and she will be delighted to help you with every web search you might have. Oh a bit of a warning...... she isn’t the docile type….she likes a bit of discipline ;)

Is the summer ever going to end?

Okay, we have had some (to be honest very little) autumn weather, but this is actually getting quite ridiculous right about now. November is just around the corner and I ate my lunch outside in the sunshine (temperature 22º C/71.6ºF) today. Normally it would be 12º C by now. But hey, I am not complaining…..I am enjoying it (and that’s why you are now ending up with this lame blog post :þ). On the other hand, I like the seasons too…..

This morning I went for a long walk and on a small quest actually. I wanted to find some mushrooms to photograph. That’s kind of hard; because where I live you can find absolutely anything and everything except a real forest. In my little village (don’t say that…..the village thinks it’s a city!), they throw a few trees and shrubs together and call it a forest or a park, but IMHO it’s not even that. When you can walk through it in 15 minutes it’s not a park, it’s a green area. Okay, honestly, they are nice, but not what I was looking for…….

At the end of my walk I found some fungus/mushroom (or should I say toadstools because they are toxic as soon as the ink starts dripping), however not the kind I was looking for. I found some Coprinus comatus, the shaggy ink cap, lawyer's wig, or shaggy mane. Not very interesting, but I was pleased with the pictures I took. So, since I was in a creative mood I turned them into a little project and I think they are much more interesting to look at now ;) Feel free to disagree!

Lost something?

Yesterday I came across this lovely and fun site called Found magazine.
Picture shows today’s find -------->

They collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles - anything that gives a glimpse into someone else's life. Anything goes really...

It reminded me of the found abandoned shopping lists Stu shared on his blog some time ago:)

Check it out!

PS: Make sure you read their About page, they have a great example of a Found note on there

Cartoon Tuesday: Talk

No Wonder!

Dove has launched a new commercial, labelled “a Dove film”, called “Evolution”. This commercial, that shows the alterations that can be made to a woman, is part of the “Campaign for real beauty”.

In the beginning of this video a woman walks into a photo shoot. When she sits down she is transformed into a glamour magazine cover girl by hair- and make-up artists and a lighting team. They take the pictures they need, which are then digitally retouched and tweaked with a Photoshop like program. The photo manipulation is then posted on a billboard for a fictional foundation. Two teenage girls walk past, looking at the billboard. The film ends with the words, "No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted. … Every girl deserves to feel beautiful just the way she is." The commercial:


I think it’s great that Dove started the “Campaign for real beauty” in which they use real women. In my opinion this video really has a role in helping young people have a healthier body image and I also believe it will help a lot of women with self esteem issues too. And women need all the help they can get because here is a sad fact: Only two percent of women surveyed worldwide consider themselves beautiful. Now how sad is that! Come on girls, teenagers and women, let’s change this around.


….and you know it!

For more information:
Campaign for real beauty – UK
Campaign for real beauty – Canada
Campaign for real beauty – USA
Initiative Fuer Wahre Schoenheit (German)
Tijd voor echte Schoonheid (Dutch)

Stickers

Mind, Body & Soul Session (#19)

Beat the Seasonal Blues

Seasonal mood variations are believed to be related mostly to daylight, not temperature. If you live in a climate where daylight hours are shortened (most of these are at northern latitudes, where there is little daylight in the winter) you are most likely to get something like SAD (SAD! - how appropriate - is short for Season Affective Disorder).

SAD is a type of depression that follows the seasons. The most common type of SAD is called winter depression and it has an affect on a lot of people every winter between September and April. During the winter months; December, January and February, there are even more sufferers due to the short days.

We all know that sunlight affects the seasonal activities of animals (i.e., reproductive cycles and hibernation). SAD might be an effect of this seasonal light variation in humans. As seasons change, there is a shift in our “biological clocks”, due partly to these changes in sunlight patterns. This can cause our biological clocks to be out of “step” with our daily schedules.

How to recognize SAD.

Although your symptoms are clues to the diagnosis, not everyone with SAD has the same symptoms. Common symptoms of winter depression include the following:

• Sleep problems: excessive sleeping, difficulty staying awake, in some cases, disturbed sleep and early morning wakening;
• Anxiety: tension and inability to tolerate stress
• Overeating: craving for carbohydrates and sweet foods, usually resulting in weight gain during the fall or winter months;
• Lethargy: feelings of extreme fatigue, inability to maintain regular lifestyle schedule;
• Depression: feelings of sadness, loss of feelings, apathy, feelings of guilt, loss of self-esteem, sometimes despair and hopelessness, combined with irritability ;
• Social problems: lack of interest in social interactions, losing interest in activities of enjoyment;
• Loss of libido: Less interest in sex and physical contact

How to Banish the Blues.

Here are some tips for those of us (yeah, me too) who suffer from SAD as soon as the leaves start to drop. In fact, these tips will help anyone who has occasional spells of mild depression, whether seasonal or not!

1. If you think you have mild SAD, light therapy might be the way to go. Light therapy has been shown to be effective in up to 85 per cent of diagnosed cases. Light boxes are quite expensive so you might want to try some of the other tips first.

2. Try to spend at least ten to fifteen minutes outdoor during the daylight hours. Spending time in nature can be very helpful to. On weekends, take a walk in the woods, visit a park or go to the beach.

3. Make sure you get plenty of exercise (walking is one of the best exercises for depression. It is nearly impossible to think bad thoughts while you are walking briskly), rest, fluids (drink water), and mineral-rich foods. Try oatmeal! Oats are great for mood swings, nerves, and depression. Eat healthier food!

4. Stick to a daily routine. Go to bed on time (preferably before midnight), arrive at work on time, plan your day and make a list of what you want to accomplish and check things off as you accomplish them. Save challenging projects for when you are not fighting (winter) depression

5. Surround yourself with pictures of sunny, colourful scenes. Listen to heart-warming music, watch funny movies and wear warm and comfy clothes in bright colours.

6. Practice smiling: research shows it really helps us to feel more cheerful!

7. If you feel the need…..talk about your SAD. Talk with a friend, a family member or a physician, see a nurse in a clinic or a psychologist. Don’t keep your feelings all bottled up.

8. Decide that the weather can not affect your mood. You cannot change the weather. If the weather is bad, allow a little extra time to get to work. Accept the weather as it is and move on. Don’t forget to enjoy the sunny days as much as possible.

In conclusion, don't give up on yourself and don’t beat yourself up when you’re down, it will only make things worse. There are many ways to ease the symptoms of SAD, some might work and others won’t and hey, if you still feel bad, just yell for help!

Rendezvous with the Devil.

One of my goals on 43T was “go to a movie by myself” and it was quite hard to accomplish that. Not because I am afraid to go on my own, I do that a lot actually, but because I’d run into friends while I tried to go on my own the last couple of times. But now, I finally did it. I went to see The Devil Wears Prada yesterday and I had a great time.

I’d read the book some time ago and now watched the movie and I liked it! This came as a surprise to me because I usually like the book better. I don’t want to turn this into a movie review (or spoil everything if you haven’t seen it yet) but I’d like to say that it is a really entertaining movie with lines like: “By all means move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me” – Miranda Priestly/Meryl Streep.

Meryl Streep is brilliant btw, but isn’t she always? She is absolutely amazing as Miranda Priestly. Like all Streep’s characters, it is constructed from the inside out. It's what she holds back, does not show (but subtly hints at), that gives her character humanity and gains your sympathy. She is one of those rare people who is able to convey more with an eyebrow, or by pursing her lips, than with an entire page of dialog. I love her!

I don’t love Miranda Priestly though, but that is personal. She reminds me of one of my former employers too much. The “dragon lady” I worked for always wore designer labels, big sunglasses, Chanel No5, went to 4 hour lunches and soirees in the evenings, and possessed almost the same character traits. There was only one difference: Miranda Priestly actually has a powerful job (demanding fashion editor), my “boss” lived in a dream world and thought she was a very important businesswoman. It was kind of sad to watch actually. There she was strutting her stuff, never there when clients called and never up-to-date on client files. So, she went to business meetings completely clueless. Sad! So glad I resigned.

Okay, I completed my goal and had fun doing it! If you ever want to give it a try, go ahead, it’s not scary and oh there is another advantage too…..you have the popcorn all to yourself!

Organize This turns into Organize That!

I was quite amazed by all the response I’ve got on yesterdays post. Apparently a lot of you are into cooking and want to share recipes. So, how are we going to do this? Are we going to:

• join Angela’s recipe blog (if she will take us),
• join yummy food stuff (if they'd have us),
• are we going to create a new team blog?

Suggestions are more then welcome!

Organize this!

Two weeks ago I was looking for one of my favourite recipes, but I wasn’t able to find it. Not so surprising since I have recipe boxes and plain boxes full of recipes, folders filled with torn out pages from magazines and newspapers and a lot of downloaded recipes. Over the years I collected dozens and dozens of them. Usually I can find the recipe I am looking for quite easily because there is a system, well sort of, in all that chaos, but recently one of my friends was looking for something and he really made a mess of things. Result: I can’t find a thing! Time to start organizing my recipes I thought.

First I collected all my recipes. OMG, I never knew I had so many. Then it was time to put on my sorting hat while I started to sort out all my recipes into categories, such as salads, side dishes, meat, poultry, vegetarian, pasta, fish and desserts. It’s amazing how much stuff you collect over the years. I was also amazed by the fact that I had incomplete recipes. How on earth did they end up in my recipe jumble? I was even more surprised to find a lot of recipes that had lost their appeal all together. Peoples taste really change over time.

At the moment I am in the process of putting all the recipes on my computer. I found some free Dutch software and it is really great. You can create menus and shopping lists. And as a bonus there is even some nutritional information. Woo Hoo!
There is one downside though; there is a lot of typing involved. It’s a dirty job, but someone gotta do it :) And hey, it’s not all in vain; in the end I’ll have a marvellous recipe finder on my computer. Hurrah......no more recipe chaos!

Cartoon Tuesday: Not funny ;-)

Mind, Body & Souls sessions (#18)

No Gossip Today

“Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you.”

Do you know what a “TomKat”, “Brangelina” or a “Vaughniston” is? I bet some of you do. To be honest, I had to check the names on the internet to make sure I got them right. If you knew who I meant right away, it’s not so surprising because we live in a culture obsessed with real-life celebrity drama. And it doesn’t stop there. What’s going on in the lives of our friends, relatives, neighbours and colleagues is extremely fascinating too. If there is anything most people enjoy doing more than any other thing, it’s gossiping. Some people find it even more interesting than any other form of speech.

First let me say that there is nothing wrong with having an opinion about a public figure/family member/friend/relative/neighbour/colleague, or discussing current events, fashion trends, how great so-and-so looked, new movies/TV shows/soaps or favourite restaurants. But when we cross the line from discussion over into sarcasm, contempt, disdain, mockery, and scorn, we have gone too far. The trouble with gossip (idle talk, earful, hearsay, pipeline, grapevine, dish the dirt, scuttlebutt, rumour, dirt, slander, scandal – whatever the name, it is still gossip) is that it serves no real purpose. Gossip is just casual talk especially about other people’s affairs and problems. Oh, come to think of it, there might be a purpose to gossip……namely distraction!. Gossip takes you away from concentrating on what's important in your own life. In the end, it's much easier to analyze and/or judge other people’s relationships and problems than to solve your own problems or to look at your own life. Spreading rumours/stories comes from a place of judgment, from someone who is displeased with his or her own self or life. What they don’t realise is that gossip can lead to stress, hostility and contempt for others. It can also damage friendships, destroy group morale and damage reputations. Gossip is the stuff that gets people down instead of building them up. Besides, we all know how it feels to be the subject of gossip: not good! Nobody wants to be the subject of gossip.

Like I said, gossip takes you away from concentrating on what's really important, things like building meaningful relationships, friendships, taking care of your physical and emotional health, and pursuing a fulfilling life. We should be filling our (and their) minds with thoughts that are pure, honest, kind, just and good, instead of evil. So, IMHO gossip has got to go!

Easy to say, but can it be done? Maybe we should all give it a go. Let’s try to go without gossip for a day and see what we are left with to talk about when we leave the gossip and other people’s life out of the conversation. So, don’t visit websites filled with gossip or entertainment news today. Forget about the tabloids, no entertainment programs on TV/radio and no entertainment magazines. It also means not talking about other people’s (sisters, brothers, friends, neighbours or colleagues) personal life when they aren’t around.

The weather is so nice…….

It’s hard to believe it's October! I even spotted a butterfly in my garden this afternoon :)

"We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think its forever" - Dr. Carl Sagan

Isn’t she a beauty? I am talking about the butterfly here, not the picture (that stinks) ;)

In other news: I've added a RSS feed to my blog.
You'll find it there -------->> somewhere
Feel free to use it (or not!)

Don't ask her to marry you in public!

You might end up feeling just a bit embarrassed.

OUCH!

I would like one stamp, please.

On Monday I received a really nice handmade card from one of my mother’s sisters, also known as one of my (old) aunts. Yesterday I received another one from her. At first I thought that Alzheimer had kicked in, but as it turned out she had send me the second one because she could not include the gift certificate she wanted to send me in the first one.

Today I wrote her a nice thank-you-note, but in my opinion that wasn’t enough. So, I went to one of the local card shops and bought a nice cheerful card for her. Wrote a little bit extra in the card and then it was off to the post office for a € 0.39 stamp. I was a bit surprised to find out that I had to wait in line on a weekday, but hey it was for a good cause, so I waited patiently.

The lady in front of me needed some stamps too. To her (and mine) surprise she heard that the post office did not sell single stamps anymore. HUH?? Bummer! So she asked for the 5 stamp sheet. “I am sorry, we only sell sheets with 10 stamps on them these days” was the reply she got. The lady really needed the stamp so she bought them.

I was a bit flabbergasted and asked the post office lady if I really needed to buy 10 stamps when I only use maybe 3 or 4 regular stamps in a year.
Her answer: ‘Yes!’
My reply: ‘How ridiculous! I need to buy 10 stamps now and by the end of the year I can’t use them anymore because you change the rate next year’.
Her answer: ‘but you can use them next year. You’ll only need to buy another 10 stamps to pay for the difference then. You can stick these next to the old ones and you’ll be good to go’
Me: ‘but if I use, lets say, 5 of the current stamps, and then have to buy 10 stamps to pay for the difference in the beginning of 2007, I’ll be left with 5 stamps which I can't use because I haven't got any more € 0.39 stamps left. What do I do with the rest of them? Should I just throw them away? That’s just plain robbery!’
She: ‘Well, that’s your problem! Don't send mail, email instead. Oh, and if you don’t like this, write to the post office people!’
Me: *sigh* ‘I think I will!’

But what to do next? I could not send the card without a stamp. When I walked towards the exit I saw the 10-stamps-buying-lady again and said ‘this might come across very bold, but do you have any spare stamps? If you have, I would like to buy one from you :)’. She smiled at me and said she would be delighted to sell me one! Hooray!! I was so happy; I almost hugged her :) So glad, there are still nice people out there!!

Oh and in case you are wondering, we are both going to file a complaint with the post office people :)

Cartoon Tuesday: spending money!

Mind, Body & Soul sessions (#17)

Strike a (relaxing) pose, there's nothing to it.

Every one of us needs survival techniques to help us manoeuvre through life's difficult days. When everything threatens to overwhelm us, we need a way to hold ourselves together until the storm passes, or perhaps we simply need a way to let everything fall apart without losing ourselves completely. One great survival tool is yoga. One hour of yoga will make you feel less anxious and less stressed and ready to face the world again. The process of controlled breathing and deep stretches can help you clear your mind and relax your body. Of course there are all sorts of yoga and I want to talk about restorative yoga. And this, by the way, is not the kind where you have to bend yourself in pretzel-like shapes.

Restorative yoga is a gentle form of yoga that is designed to quiet the nervous system and give the body a chance to rejuvenate and heal itself. It focuses on relaxing the body in restful poses. Once you set yourself up in a restorative pose, the only work you need to do is to relax and breathe. It is a real treat, and a powerful tool to have in your arsenal of stress-reduction techniques.
You can practice restorative yoga at any time of the day. You can start your day with a pose, which is a great way to gently wake up the body and clear the mind before launching into the day. It is also helpful to practice a restorative pose at the end of the day, before bed. It can slow the body and mind down, and prepare you for sleep. Many who practice restorative poses (at any time of the day), find that they sleep better and their energy levels are higher.

Many yoga studios offer restorative classes on Fridays, when everyone could use a little help relaxing. If you like today's pose (description below) and think it feels good, check in with your local studio and see if they offer a restorative yoga class.

Today I am going to introduce you to the: Viparita Karani - Legs-up-the-Wall Pose.
All you need for this pose is a little floor space in front of a wall and a folded up blanket (or a yoga mat/sleeping bag/soft carpet/quilt/duvet, anything will do, just as long it is comfortable to lie down on). I like to do my restorative yoga in a comfortable and quiet room. I close the door and turn on some relaxing music (if you don’t have any relaxing music, you can find it here - just try one of the mini-players).

Now find an empty spot of wall with a clear floor space in front of it. Place your soft mattress (you know, the blanket/mat/quilt….whatever) on the floor so one end touches the wall. Sit down next to the wall (on your mattress) so that your right side is against the wall. Your right hip should be touching the wall; your legs extended out in front of you, parallel to the wall.

Bend your knees in toward your chest so your heels come toward your buttocks. Now roll down onto your left side, so that your entire body (or the left side of it) is on the mattress. The bottom of your feet and your behind should be flat against the wall. Now roll onto your back and straighten your legs up against the wall. You should be in an L shape with your back on the floor and your legs up the wall (see picture). If this is a problem for your hamstrings, slide away from the wall and make sure there is a gap between your thighs and the wall.)

You can rest your hands on your belly, or you can extend your arms out over your head for an additional shoulder opening. Close your eyes and hold the pose. Breathe deeply, relax, and listen to the music. Focus on nothing else.

When I do this I just breathe and surrender. As my legs drain, my mind empties and my belly soften. I stay in this pose for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, sometimes a half an hour or more, until the pose has drawn every last drop of fear, worry, angst and agitation from my body. But you don’t have to stay in this pose that long. Anywhere from 3-20 minutes, or as long as it feels good, is sufficient.

When you are ready to return to reality, bend your knees and roll onto your left side. Slide yourself away from the wall and gently (slowly!) come back up into a seated position. You should feel rested, refreshed and renewed now.

Have a fantastic day!

Cautions: Do not practice Legs-Up-the Wall Pose during heavy menstruation or pregnancy, or if you suffer from glaucoma, detached retinas, or if you have congestion in your ears. Also, if you have blood pressure or heart problems, this pose might not be right for you. Check with your doctor if you are not sure. When you do the Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose the first time, pay attention. If you feel pressure building in your face, then come down (slowly).It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Why people should not lie.

Every year the postman delivers a little card to my door saying:

“Hi there, lady of the house! Autumn and winter are just around the corner, so we think it’s time for the annual central-heating system inspection. We’ll be around your place on October, 5^th so please make sure that there is someone there to let us in.

Your best friend on cold winter days,
The central-heating guy”

Of course they didn’t write this, but it was something similar I guess.

Since I knew the guy was coming today, I cleaned the area around the boiler (is that what it’s called in English? I mean the thing that heats the water and heats the house) yesterday. I cleared away some stuff (so he would have easy access) and mopped the floor (so he wouldn’t get dirty while doing his job).Oh, I am just too kind ;) Anyway, it’s not a huge task, just something that needs to be done (occasionally). So after I finished the job, I got on with the rest of my daily stuff and it actually was a very pleasant day.

In the early hours of the evening the telephone ringed and I answered. It was Mrs. central-heating guy. She called to inform me that Mr. central-heating guy was not able to get here on the 5^th. He had been in a car accident and he had just called her (while he was still inside the wreckage) to tell her the whole story. Now she called me to reschedule and a new date was picked. At first I was all sympathetic and said things like but then I remembered something. So I said ‘that central-heating guy of yours must be a real lousy driver?’ Her response was ‘huh? No, he has never had an accident in his life. Why do you say stuff like that?’ My response was ‘well, last year you cancelled the appointment too and if I remember it correctly you told me the exact same story at the time’. The line went deadly quiet after that..................

I am curious to see if Mr. central-heating guy still is going to show his face on the new date :)

Questions?

I bet I can come up with a lot of questions that can’t be answered by the Presbyterian Church ;) What are they suggesting here? They have all the answers? Or just some answers? Hmmz… if the latter is the case, you would have to ask the right questions to get an answer!
At least you can ask Google anything, they are not picky. You always get an answer! Perhaps not the answer you were looking for ….. but hey, if they are not picky, how can we be ;)

Overheard conversation.

Last Saturday was probably one of the last nice Saturday’s we are going to have this year. The sun was shining, a nice breeze was blowing and the temperature was still very high for this time of year. So to celebrate, I treated myself to a nice cup of espresso outside one of the local cafes. While I was sitting there, enjoying my Lavazza (or maybe Illy –sorry I wasn’t paying attention) coffee and pecan cinnamon roll, I overheard a conversation two ladies had at the table behind me.

Apparently one of the ladies was thinking about marriage and she asked the other one for her opinion about it and this was her answer:
"The thing with marriage is, that you are going to take things for granted after a while, little thing like being together, doing things together, enjoying each others company. I think couples should sort of decide to remarry every day. They should look each other in the eye at the beginning of each day and decide there and then if they would say Yes again. Yes, because they want to be with that person for the remainder of the day. Yes, because the other person can give them what they need. And Yes because, although they have changed, they are still right for each other!
Other times I think it would be a great idea if you could just lease a husband or some love, so that it wasn’t a lifelong commitment. Picture it….you could take out a 12 month lease, with the right of renewal when you are still happy together after the initial first 12 months.
And sometimes I think it would be best if there was some sort of test you had to take every two years. Or wouldn’t it be great if there was some sort of evaluation every year. During a supervised session you could talk about all your likes and dislikes and in the end you could decide to stay on or look elsewhere.*silence* Hmm….but, I guess that was not the answer you were looking for."

I am quite sure that wasn’t the answer the other lady was looking for, but I have to say I can agree with some of the things the lady said. I think that in long term relationship a lot of people take things for granted. And to make it even worse, there are people out there who can’t even remember why they fell in love with the other person in the first place. That's so sad!
I also like the idea of a 12 month lease. Why are people these days still committing to a lifelong thing? Okay, let’s be honest, they say they go for the lifelong thing, but people divorce with so much ease these days that at one point I thought it was the latest trend. IMHO, marriage was never intended to last 60 or 70 years. When people first started to get married they were considered lucky if they made it till their tenth wedding anniversary. People didn’t get to celebrate their 80^th birthday way back then. So why not introduce another form of marriage? Or, more extreme, why not get rid of the whole marriage concept? There are a lot of other options to choose from these days. Maybe it will solve a lot of problems….. or maybe a lot of new problems will arise. Not sure about that. I am sure however, that marriage is not my thing. I never liked the concept and I never had the dream to get marriage or be a princess for a day. So, I never made it to the altar…........hooray!:)

Cartoon Tuesday: bigger is not always better.

Mind, Body & Soul sessions (#16)

Try something new, step out of your box and colour outside the lines.

Last week I talked about letting go. By letting go of any remaining pain you might be carrying around, you can clear some mental and emotional space to welcome new people, new adventures and new situations into your life. Well, I don’t know if anybody has done this, but if you have, there might be a void now, an opening for something new, exciting and fulfilling. But were do you find something new and fulfilling? Hmmz… I don’t know ;) Kidding, I do know! Most of the time you will find something new, when you try something new! And NEW is the keyword here. So, why not start with leaving your comfort zone as a first step.

Your comfort zone is the place where you feel comfortable, the place where you feel safe, the place where you are in control, the place where you’re not at risk of embarrassment. It is also the place that is filled with your day to day activities. But like I said, it’s time to add something new into the mix, so get of your comfortable couch (a.k.a leave your comfort zone) and try something new and exciting. Oh, and I am not talking about bungee jumping (but you can do that too, if you really want) here, I am talking about the smaller things in life like:

• - going to a new restaurant,
• - dressing differently,
• - taking a (cooking) class,
• - trying a new sport,
• - saying hi to a stranger,
• - changing your daily routine,
• - learning to pole dance,
• - taking a different route to (or from) work,
• - getting a new hairstyle or new colour,
• - trying new food items,
• - listening to new music,
• - learning to play an instrument / a new language / a new dance,
• - reading different books,
• - going to new supermarket,
• - joining a book club,
• - learning to knit,
• - taking a trip to a nearby city or how about exploring a new neighbourhood that you haven’t set foot in before.

See, all easy things to start with :)

So, why not take 5 (or 10) minutes to list some new things you would like to try. Be creative! Make it a list about naming the things that sound interesting, fun, heart-warming and enjoyable (and not a list about the things you feel you should do). When you are done, look at your list and try to figure out which thing is calling to you the loudest. Just dedicate yourself to doing that one thing next week to make it a reality. It’s okay if it’s not the most ambitious item on your list. Don’t feel guilty if it’s the smallest item on your list….size (or importance) does not matter!! It only matters that you did it.