Sunday, October 15, 2006

Mind, Body & Souls sessions (#18)

No Gossip Today

“Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you.”

Do you know what a “TomKat”, “Brangelina” or a “Vaughniston” is? I bet some of you do. To be honest, I had to check the names on the internet to make sure I got them right. If you knew who I meant right away, it’s not so surprising because we live in a culture obsessed with real-life celebrity drama. And it doesn’t stop there. What’s going on in the lives of our friends, relatives, neighbours and colleagues is extremely fascinating too. If there is anything most people enjoy doing more than any other thing, it’s gossiping. Some people find it even more interesting than any other form of speech.

First let me say that there is nothing wrong with having an opinion about a public figure/family member/friend/relative/neighbour/colleague, or discussing current events, fashion trends, how great so-and-so looked, new movies/TV shows/soaps or favourite restaurants. But when we cross the line from discussion over into sarcasm, contempt, disdain, mockery, and scorn, we have gone too far. The trouble with gossip (idle talk, earful, hearsay, pipeline, grapevine, dish the dirt, scuttlebutt, rumour, dirt, slander, scandal – whatever the name, it is still gossip) is that it serves no real purpose. Gossip is just casual talk especially about other people’s affairs and problems. Oh, come to think of it, there might be a purpose to gossip……namely distraction!. Gossip takes you away from concentrating on what's important in your own life. In the end, it's much easier to analyze and/or judge other people’s relationships and problems than to solve your own problems or to look at your own life. Spreading rumours/stories comes from a place of judgment, from someone who is displeased with his or her own self or life. What they don’t realise is that gossip can lead to stress, hostility and contempt for others. It can also damage friendships, destroy group morale and damage reputations. Gossip is the stuff that gets people down instead of building them up. Besides, we all know how it feels to be the subject of gossip: not good! Nobody wants to be the subject of gossip.

Like I said, gossip takes you away from concentrating on what's really important, things like building meaningful relationships, friendships, taking care of your physical and emotional health, and pursuing a fulfilling life. We should be filling our (and their) minds with thoughts that are pure, honest, kind, just and good, instead of evil. So, IMHO gossip has got to go!

Easy to say, but can it be done? Maybe we should all give it a go. Let’s try to go without gossip for a day and see what we are left with to talk about when we leave the gossip and other people’s life out of the conversation. So, don’t visit websites filled with gossip or entertainment news today. Forget about the tabloids, no entertainment programs on TV/radio and no entertainment magazines. It also means not talking about other people’s (sisters, brothers, friends, neighbours or colleagues) personal life when they aren’t around.

9 comments:

kat said...

I dislike gossip and if I hear it, I try not to believe or repeat it.

b o o said...

those who speak ill never hear well of themselves.

hope your weekend was nice {{Dakota}}

Dakota said...

Very wise comments people :)

I dislike gossip as well, Kat. I refuse to listen to it or if I need to listen to it, I listen but change the subject without uttering any comments. Afterwards I ignore it and never repeat it.

You are sooooo right, Boo.

I had a very relaxed weekend. Hope yours was lovely too :)

Phil said...

It's fun to hear a bit of light hearted goss I think, but ONLY if it's lighthearted and ONLY if it's occasionally I reckon.
Perhaps Im just an old woman at heart! :]

Dakota said...

As long as you don’t turn into in a yenta, you’ll be alright DoGGa ;)

Some light hearted gossip might be tolerable, but where do you draw the line then?

Anonymous said...

That's a good question: where do you draw the line? Some of my friends are very open about their lives. Others are quite secretive. I have one friend who got very upset because I told someone she was working towards her Masters degree. I didn't (and still don't) understand why she was upset, but she perceived it as gossip.

Now, if anybody asks me how she's doing I just say "Fine," and leave it at that!

Dakota said...

I agree with you Zoom!. What you did has (in my opinion) nothing to do with gossiping. I think gossip is nasty and evil and has a lot to do with sarcasm, contempt, mockery, and scorn. In your case you simply informed someone. I can’t see the harm in that, but who knows, your friend might be thinking that you, at the time, talked about a lot of other stuff concerning her too.

Andre Veloux said...

Oooh Dakota, did you hear what Kat has been up to? Well you wouldn't believe it if I told you. And I really can't say the latest between dogga and oh no I can't say. And that Boo - don't believe a word of it.

Dakota said...

Oh Andre, you blabbermouth! You left Zoom! & Lord Hutton out. LOL!
See… it's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for ;)