You have the power to be HAPPY!Did you ever ask yourself (or anyone else) this question “What makes you happy?” Sounds like a very simple question, but is answering it really that straightforward? When asked, most people will answer that a big change will make them happy. Things like: a trip around the world, a promotion, a bigger car, winning the lottery, or even weight loss. But will these things really make you (or them) happier? Of course certain events and material things like a new car, or a pay rise, can give you a boost, but the feeling will not last long. Research has shown that people who receive a windfall are only happier for a short period of time. After the initial reaction, they return to their “normal” life and will be just as happy (or unhappy) as they were before they received their price, car, bonus, or whatever. This might all sound a bit strange, but here is a newsflash: Money, status and belongings will never bring you everlasting contentment. We humans are programmed to fear shortage and that means we will never ever be totally satisfied with the things we have.
When you think about it, this all sounds a bit depressing, because this means you, and only you, are responsible for your own happiness. Sure external factors can contribute to your happiness but happiness comes from the inside out and not the outside in. If we accept that happiness comes from the inside out, then it is possible for us to take control of our happiness.
So here is the good news, you (too) have the power to be happy and not just happy but really, truly happy. You might think that happiness is a smile on your face, but it’s so much more…. We use words like happiness, joy, fun, laughter, enjoyment, pleasure, satisfactions and excitement as if they are identical. We use each of them to create an image of people having a good time; implying they all mean about the same. However, happiness is quite different. Joy, pleasure, enjoyment, satisfaction and excitement all turn on and off but happiness does not, it stays with you regardless of the emotion being experienced. Happiness is a condition of your being and it will stay with you while you are experiencing emotions. Happiness is a state of mind; it’s a different way of looking at the world. When you start to accept things as they are, focus more on the little successes and miracles, do the things that bring you joy, and learn to be content (no matter what is happening around you), true happiness will enter your life too. So instead of focussing on our fears, worries and problems, we need to find the good possibilities in each situation. For example: You can scold and act annoyed, when the battery of your cell phone is dead, but you can also enjoy the peace and quite for a while or listen to the birds. You can kick the door and fret that your day has been ruined, because you’ve locked yourself out of your house, but that won’t open the door. Instead call a friend who has a spare key (or a locksmith) and enjoy the newfound free time while you wait for help to arrive.
This might all sound a bit farfetched, but it really works! I’ve tried and tested it. Even if you come from a long line of pessimists (like me), you’re normally a bit idiosyncratic and even if you’re frustrated with your life right now. How? Simple, change your habits one step at a time. Unfortunately you can’t change overnight, so take your first baby step today.
Today set aside as much time as you can and do things that clear your head and bring you joy! Take a walk around your neighbourhood, sit quietly in your sanctuary, listen to the birds, hug a tree, dance in front a mirror with a hairbrush for a microphone, take care of yourself, pursue a passion, watch a beautiful sunset, listen to the rain, walk naked in your living room, sing along with you favourite CD, do a silly walk, look for the beauty in things (paintings, photos, nature, people, whatever) fly a kite, skip, talk to a stranger, go to a place you have never been before, dance in the supermarket, whistle, notice all the wonderful things that exist all around you. Just do something you can really enjoy, it doesn’t have to be serious, have some fun and make happiness a priority :)
Reasons to be cheerful:
1. I feel good!
2. I am going to enjoy this (reunion) day as much as I can.
3. I never thought I would post this “Mind, body and soul sessions” post but I did and I am actually quite happy with it :)
7 comments:
Looks like someone is feeling better! :]
What you say is completely true Dakota, materialistic items are merely a quick fix and have no sustainability towards true happiness, and I think many people fall down the trap of thinking they do! This is a very hollow and flawed life plan.
These things should be treated as an accompaniment, enjoyed and appreciated, but nothing more.
Happiness is in every ones control yes, as you say, and it is something that can be learnt, over time.
As you say, we should all take time out to do what makes us happy, the things that are free generally.
It's not easy at times, as life can drag you so far under, singing or doing something you enjoy just seems preposterous.
I could talk about this for hours, but War and Peace would spring to mind...
Well written post Dakota (#3), you're a true star! x
I just came across this, and thought of you Dakota:
http://www.livescience.com/humanbiology/060227_happiness_keys.html
Lemme try that again:
Happiness
I fully agree with you DoGGa. At times doing “silly” or enjoyable things seems preposterous. When I was trying to get rid of my depression I gave myself assignments each day, little task like: dress like you are going somewhere, sing along with a song, exercise, or dance for 5 minutes. Most of the time I completed the tasks, but it was not always fun. There were days I did them but I was crying at the same time. It felt so absurd and surreal. I knew I needed to do these things but in the back of my head this little voice kept telling me to stop what I was doing because it was utterly ridiculous. At the time I thought about giving up so many times, I couldn’t even begin to count them but I persevered and now I can honestly say that it changed me and my outlook on life completely :)
Thank you for taking the time to write your (well thought out) comment and your nice words. x
Thanks for the link to that article Zoom!. Very interesting stuff and I totally agree with the last part of it: "If you are looking for something to complain about, you are absolutely certain to find it," Easterbrook told LiveScience. "It requires some effort to achieve a happy outlook on life, and most people don't make it. Most people take the path of least resistance. Far too many people today don't make the steps to make their life more fulfilling one." So true!! Been there, done that!
Thanks again :)
I really wrestle with this concept of true happiness, partly because I find it so hard to work out what I want, and also because a lot of what I think I would like seems to be outside my control, so I have to discount it. I often have to remind myself to be realistic which to some may come across as being negative. I am still deeply annoyed with someone who blithely told me, after pushing me to admit (I was certainly not going around complaining!) that I was struggling with my diet and exercise regime, to "be enthusiastic about taking care of myself".. At a time when I would have been glad to achieve equanimity, enthusiasm was too much to ask.
One thing I do, which is similar to your "reasons to be cheerful" is counting my blessings, before I go to sleep at night. Another is to spend as much time as possible with people I like, and who seem to like me, but I think the most important, in terms of things I can do without imposing on anyone else, is to pursue my curiosity about the world, whether in books, on my own back doorstep or in foreign lands.
the simplest plan is the most difficult to execute. thanks for the reminder {{Dakota}} i shall strive to be good & happy :)
I agree Qaminante, changing you life and finding happiness is hard work! It is even harder when you don’t know what you want or where you are going, but maybe you should view this whole journey as a road trip with no predetermined destination or timeline. Leave all options open and I am sure you will get the best ideas along the way. And sure, you can’t control every thing, but I am convinced we can influence things in a positive way.
Try to do the things you feel most comfortable with at the moment and take the next step when you feel ready. In my opinion you are doing a great job so far. You are counting your blessing, you spend time with the right people and you are curious. Super! Keep up the good work and enjoy the ride :)
Wise words {{Boo}}. I am convince you are good an pretty happy already :)
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