Have you got the definitive derriere?
Few women would claim to have the perfect bottom. But for those in need of reassurance that it is within reach, a scientist has come to the rescue by working out a mathematical formula they believe adds up to the perfect posterior.
The magical figures are (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V. Though the equation looks rather complicated, it is, according to the scientist, simple. It assesses shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry, all factors that add up to the bottom line. S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness. V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.
Points were then entered into the formula and the closer a bottom scored to 80, the nearer it was to posterior perfection. "The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," Dr Holmes said. "Slender thighs and a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well perfectly."
Dr Holmes said that Kylie Minogue, whose celebrated bottom relaunched her career with the help of a pair of hotpants, would almost certainly score a perfect 80. "Kylie would score amazingly well on sphericality and symmetry. Her bottom is pretty much perfect in these areas, more so than the likes of Charlotte Church or Jennifer Lopez, who have more curvy posteriors," he said. "While no one, of course, can be sure of the firmness and texture of Kylie's bottom, from the exposure it has been given in the newspapers it is obviously muscular and is likely to score highly in these categories also."
Dr Holmes's research revealed that men and women had different opinions when it came to deciding on the best bottoms. While women preferred the larger, curvier behind of Lopez, men found Minogue's pert symmetry more agreeable.
I probably don’t have a perfect butt, but do I care……No, of course not! I am happy with the derriere I have :) Who wants to be perfect anyway!
8 comments:
i love my butt, so does my darling. thats enough for me :)
We're all bootyliscious!
A little strange how much attention goes into measuring the perfect bottom
Mine seems to have gone flat. Perhaps I am sitting on it too much. :-)
Good for you, Boo :)
Of course we are, Kayla.
I really don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Maybe that is why I was interested in the article at the time :)
Your butt has gone flat, Kat? How did you accomplish that? I sit a lot to, so that couldn’t have caused it :) Maybe you should stop your diet and redirect all the fat to your buns :)
I wonder who funds that kind of research??
I've always like my butt - it's one of my better assets. But now I want to get it professionally assessed!
Not a clue who funds those projects Zoom!, probably people with too much cash :)
For a professional opinion contact Dr. David Holmes. He is a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University. He shouldn’t be hard to find :)
I have a degree in butt-ology you know. I can do an analysis if need be.
Yeah I know, Phil. If I remember correctly you stated that on your blog once :)
Maybe Zoom! is interested in an assessment :P
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