DIY therapy

The other day I was reading this very interesting article about DIY (and I don’t mean Destroy It Yourself but Do It Yourself) therapy. Of course this was an article in Dutch but I thought that it might interest some of you, so I translated parts of it.

What do you do when your life is a mess and everything is all tangled up? Well you could go to a psychologist or talk with a good friend but there is also another possibility, you can help yourself with DIY therapy. Be your own Dr. Phil, get a pen and paper and write everything down. Writing about yourself is a technique which will enable you to get some perspective. It will help you to recognize areas of your life which are not going to plan. By entrusting your problems, questions, wishes and bad memories to paper, you will get to know yourself better.
The trick is to write down as many thoughts, wishes, worries and desires. When you write down enough of them you’ll hopefully see a pattern, a pattern that tells you more about you. It is important to have all these on paper because your brain can’t store them all and isn’t able to rearrange them in a logical order. Besides, writing activates your brain. Often one word can be the trigger to a new idea or to a whole new way of thinking. You can come up with things you normally wouldn’t think about.

So how does this DIY therapy work?

Step1: The warming-up
Think up 21 subjects or questions that you can use as a guideline. For example:

what has been your biggest set back? Are you satisfied about the way you dealt with this?

complete this sentence: I want the floor to open up and swallow me when………..

are you jealous of someone right now? What does this person have that you don’t have? Would you be happier if you had the same things?

what would you friends say about you on your funeral? Are these the things you would want to hear? Do you want them to remember you differently?

what is your biggest fantasy/dream? What is holding you back? Why aren’t you fulfilling your biggest dream?

Step 2:
During the next 3 weeks you are going to write daily about one subject or question. You only write for 30 minutes. Write down everything that enters your mind about the subject of the day. You can only write down things that are real and honest, you can’t cross out things written down or change them. However you are allowed to add notes. When your 30 minutes are up, put down your pen and put away your piece of paper for the remainder of the 3 weeks.

Some writing hints:

Need inspiration? Put on some music which will trigger some memories. It's not working? Try some scents; things like cinnamon, coffee, aftershave, perfume can work miracles.

You are writing this for you. So don’t stress about grammar and spelling, it doesn’t have to be perfect.

Don’t be a perfectionist. Write the things down the way they occur.

Don’t write to long at night, it might give you sleepless nights.

Don’t like pen and paper? Use your computer. Just make sure you always have some sort of notepad close at hand.

Step3: the aha-erlebnis / sudden insight.
After 3 weeks you will end up with 21 very outspoken essays about you. Now it is time reread all the things you wrote, but with an open mind. The purpose of this is to recognize patterns, recognize your way of thinking, and recognize how you approach things. You might even discover things you didn’t know about yourself. Maybe you will see actions that didn’t have the desired result; perhaps you should change some things.

Step 4: self-knowledge
It’s time for more writing. Do I really have to? Yes, you must. Write down all the feelings you experience while you are reading your essays. Are you surprised? Are you ashamed? Are you content? Write, write, write! And oh, while you are writing, write down all the traits of your character (like: bossy, honest, cheerful, short-sighed) you’ll find in your essay.

So……what’s next? More writing?
Nope! Your essays are now the foundation of your DIY therapy. Put them aside for a while – do not throw them away – and let it all sink in. After some time you will discover the gap you’ve to close between being the person you are and the person you want to be. Another thing you can do is just accept the person you are. You with all the fun habits and your quirky ways.