Mind, Body & Soul sessions (#15)

Let go, set it free!

"One can never change the past, only the hold it has on you, and while nothing in your life is reversible, you can reverse it nevertheless." - Merle Shain

Have you looked in your refrigerator lately? What’s in there? Yesterday’s leftovers? Older leftovers, bits and pieces of meals you've eaten at some undefined time in the past? Do you save food thinking you can incorporate it into some future meal? In other words: Is your fridge stocked with glowing, healthy, nutritious food, or fruits, vegetables and other food well past its ‘sell-by’ date?

Okay this might all seem a bit strange, but some experts think that there is a relationship between what's in our refrigerators and how we deal with past experiences. If you can’t let go of food, it's very possible that you're hanging on to old stuff in your consciousness too. In order to look forward to the future and live in the ‘now’, you need a clean starting point, a clean slate. You need to let go of disappointments, anger, old hurt and negative beliefs about ourselves. By letting go of any remaining pain you might be carrying around, you can clear some mental and emotional space to welcome new people, new adventures and new situations into your life.

So, did you look in your fridge? What did you find? Fresh produce or old moulted cheese? The problem is that, like the bit of cheese that gets lost way in the back and when you find it you have trouble remembering it was cheese, bad memories, anger and old hurt, go deeper and deeper. The deeper they go, the more probable it is they are to influence your day to day life, and the harder it is to remember that that's why you do what you do all day, every day.

It's a lot easier to clean out your refrigerator than it is to clean out these old hurts. But it is doable. Here is an approach to free yourself from these restrictive memories. There are two ways described here, the hard way and the easy way :).

Rewrite your history.
Let the adult you rewrite your history. Write a letter to yourself (or to the person(s) involved) and describing the hurtful situation. Visualize it, but this time have the person act in a loving, nurturing way, the way you would act if you were that person. If you find it hard to reframe the memory, then visualize it as it happened, but this time around you step in and comfort the you it happened to. Say all the things you wish someone had said to you right as it happened. Remember, you are not trying to change the past as much as changing your reaction to it. Does it look as bad now as it did then? Explain why your feelings were hurt and own up to your negative contributions. Apologize for any pain you may have caused. And if it's yourself that you haven't forgiven, now is the time to be kind to yourself and to let go of self-blame. See every side of the situation and wish those who hurt you happiness, and don't forget to include a thank you. Part of who you are today is because of these circumstances. It may have made you more caring and more sensitive, so be sure to include that as well. The important thing is to include all your feelings, so leave nothing out.

Finally, get rid of the letter(s) in the way that brings you the most closure. Release your entire story into the universe. Remember that this is about you and not about the other person. You can send the letter to a certain person, tear it up and throw it away, cut it up, burn it, bury it... Whatever method you choose, do it with the intention of fully freeing yourself from all lingering emotions. As you dispose of it, remind yourself that being able to forgive other people begins with being able to forgive yourself.

Okay, this was the hard way, but there is an easier way too. As promised: the simple and easy shortcut: Just clean out your fridge! (wow! Now, that sounds simple!)
Let's end where I started…..the fridge. Double the effectiveness of cleaning out your refrigerator. With each item that you toss in the bin, create the intention of releasing old beliefs, situations or people. With each item, say something like "As I release this old food, I release all old hurts and negative beliefs. I am free." (or make up your own sentence, if that makes you feel more comfortable) Use it every time you throw something out and notice how your life starts changing.

Set yourself free, be free!