In certain instances, it is easy to feel compassion. When you watch TV and see people in trouble, it's easy to imagine how it must feel to be one of them and to genuinely wish them well. However, bringing compassion into your daily life can be more challenging. How can you feel compassion for someone you see on the street; for telemarketers, who have the most thankless job in the world; or for yourself when you see yourself with puffy eyes and a bed head? The answer is simple! Start small, be compassioned, be kind, and start with a smile!
You are enriched when both receiving it
and offering it to someone else.
It takes only a moment, but its memory can last a lifetime.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it,
and none is so poor that he cannot be made richer by it.
It brings happiness to the home, promotes good will in business
and is the cornerstone of friendship.
It perks up the weary, brings cheer to the discouraged,
sunshine to the sad and is nature’s best antidote for trouble.
It is so valuable, and yet it cannot be bought,
begged, borrowed or stolen,
for it’s worthless until it’s given away.
If you see someone without one of their own,
then send them one of yours for no one needs
a smile so much as he who has none to give”
Let's face it, if I smile at you, you'll smile back. The more I smile, the more people will smile at me. The more you smile, the more people will smile at you.
The big question with smiling at strangers is where to start. You can’t go around smiling all day, every day. That would look unnatural. The smile we are going for here needs to be natural and has to have a profound impact on someone. One of the best places to smile at a stranger is where there are enough people staying relatively still. The park is a possible candidate, as are cafés, coffee shops, public transport and places like bus stops, or how about the queue in the supermarket. Look around and find a target. When a possible target is found, follow these steps.
Step 1: Eye contact
This step is very important! A person will not know that they are your target unless they see you do it. For example: in public transport peoples' eyes tend to wander around. Do not stare, because that will make people turn away. When the wandering eyes have found another pair of eyes, they will stop for a moment. It is critical to proceed to step 2 as soon as eye contact is established
Step 2: Decision time – think quick!
You see a person who looks interesting. Maybe he or she is attractive, maybe they’re wearing something that appeals to you, or maybe you just want to give this person some attention. The reason is not that important, so don’t investigate. Right now the “should I or shouldn’t I” question will pop in your mind. Forget about it. Forget all those other questions like “what will they think?” too. Decide!! Just do it now….or not! The only person who can decide whether you want to proceed is you. Feeling courageous? Proceed to step 3 or just divert your eyes
Step 3: Flash a smile
Don't feel awkward or self conscious. Everyone can smile, it’s not difficult, and everyone looks good with a smile plastered on their face. What matters with smiling at strangers is the fact that you actually smile. However, please, do not force a smile: If one comes, it needs to come and look natural.
Step 4: Don't overdo it.
It's important to smile just as long as it takes for the person to notice. Don’t just sit there for hours with a silly grin on your face ;) There will always be some sort of response, ranging from a real smile back at you all the way to a frown or a movement of the head away from you. If the latter occurs, don’t let it discourage you….better luck next time!
So, what will happen next? That will all depend on the parties involved. In most cases the reaction will be a positive one. It may not be visible to you, but they will feel it. In some cases it is possible that this simple act of smiling at a stranger will spark conversation or even more. There is no telling until you try it. So, give it a go….SMILE!
8 comments:
I hope she feels the same way, Lord Hutton ;)
Sounds like dating advice! I'd be too scared to smile at a complete stranger because I thought there was something attractive about them.
It is not dating advice, Andre. It’s all part of the Random act of kindness plan. When you smile, you will brighten up the day of at least two people, yours and the smiled at person. When this person in turn smiles at someone else, 3 people are having a much better day already (and so on and so on).
Anyway, you can smile at none attractive people, males/females, old/young too…. It’s not about the attractiveness it’s all about the smiles!!
I smile at people all the time, especially while walking. Old people, young people, male, female, doesn't matter. Sometimes I don't even realize I smiled at them until I see them smiling back!
I like it. It makes me feel more connected to the world. And doing it while you're walking is perfect, because you don't have to think about how long to keep smiling for.
Great post Dakota. I'm not the worlds best person for social skills, but it is good to try and smile and I do it from time to time.
I have a friend who smile and says hello to everyone... it makes me chuckle sometimes.
I smile at people when I am walking too, Zoom!. It’s so much better then looking away awkwardly or ignoring everybody, which a lot of other people like to do.
I feel more connected to the world too and it’s an easy way to brighten people’s day :)
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From time to time I smile and say hello to everyone too, DoGGa. But I have noticed that the smile thing is much easier for people to accept. They can ignore it, act like they haven’t seen it. Sound apparently is harder to ignore and can make them feel uncomfortable. So, keep smiling……..“because your smile can make life more beautiful”
I love this dakota. What fun. Thanks for the reminder. :)
My pleasure, Jeffrey. Enjoy!
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