Last night, one of my friends stopped by for a cup of coffee. “Just one cup” she said as she entered, because she had a thing she had to go to. “A thing?” I asked. “Yes, a thing!” Ever curious, I couldn’t help myself; I asked her what that thing was. Usually she’s not so secretive about her life, so this behaviour was a bit odd. It took some pushing and pulling but in the end she gave in.She was going to a speed date event. She was? Yes!! Can you believe it? I was totally flabbergasted, because I couldn’t comprehend why this beautiful girl was going to speed date. First of all, the last time I saw her she was a lesbian and secondly, she doesn’t need an organised event to pick someone up. So, what was going on here? Did she change her orientation to men again, or was she going for the bi lifestyle now? Could be! It seems that more and more girls (funny, I rarely hear about men who do) swing both ways nowadays, it’s almost like it is kind of fashionable now (Oh! Granny is speaking ;)). Okay, but I wasn’t talking about lifestyles, I was talking about speed dating.
As it turned out my friend has been visiting speed date evenings for research purposes only :) She is a freelance writer and she is going to write a column about it. Inquisitive as always, I asked her what it was like.
According to her, it actually was quite nice. A lot of people who attend these events are seriously looking for a relationship, but of course there are fun shoppers and players too. And there is a fourth group: The rude and ill-mannered, lowbred men. You don’t believe the things they have said to her. Things like:
- “Are you prepared to get a boob job? They are not the size I like”
- “I’m sorry I must have missed that…..I only listen to intelligent women”
How rude!! The nastiest thing a guy ever said to me is probably this “I like you just the way you are, but could you please gain 10 kilos or so and grow your hair longer” Not the thing you want to hear when you have just lost 20 kilos and cut your hair short :(
Men *sigh*
9 comments:
I haven't heard of these speed date events. Is it just a large group of single men and women gathering for dinner?
Good Grief!!
"Are you prepared to get a boob job"? Sounds like he is shopping for body parts so he can design his "perfect" woman!
Ugghh..
I'm dating a geat guy right now, but I'm just waiting for the day when his inner jerk comes out!
Maybe it won't..he seems to be genuine.
Time will tell, eh?
LOL! How roooooooooooood!!!
I can't believe some peoples audacity, but then a speed-dating get together is not really the place for subtlety I guess! :-)
Going off on one...
I remember being dumped at middle school, by my-years-best-looking-girl Michelle, as I asked her out one lunch break and she agreed (yay), but I was then dumped 5 minutes later because I thought it would be funny to pretend to wave my willy at her using a blade of grass as a prop! I had only been going with her 5 minutes, literally.
Was it something to do with my style? Pfff, who knows! LOL
My ex husband met his current girlfriend speed dating. She's lovely and they've been together now for nearly 4 years. I met my boyfriend through an internet dating site and we've been together now for 19 months. It's pretty much like other forms of meeting people - most of the time a non-starter but occasionally you strike lucky.
Great post (great comments too)!
I think I'm giving up on men. I want one, but I don't want to go through all the crap you have to go through to find one.
Besides, I don't seem to have very good taste in men. I have some kind of weird emotional compass that steers me right into the arms of the closest wrong man. I used to think it was just a coincidence, but now I see it's a pattern. Speed dating would just help me find him faster.
The big advantage of speed-dating seems to be that you don’t have to waste a lot of time on guys like that, Stu. And I agree with you, there are horrible, rude women out there too. I won’t repeat some of the things I’ve heard, but let’s say they were far worse then the example you gave. Yuck! I feel sorry for the guy! Rejection is never nice, but in my opinion there is always a polite way to do it!
You haven’t heard of speed-dating, Kayla? That’s kind of odd; they say it’s an American invention :)
From Wikipedia: “Speed-dating originated in Jewish circles in the United States as a way to ensure that more Jewish singles met each other in large cities where they were outnumbered by non-Jews. In the original idea of speed dating, men and women are rotated to meet each other for only eight minutes each, are forced to the next round no matter how much they are enjoying the interaction (or dread the next one), then submit to the organizers a list of who they would like to see again (a form of approval voting since any number of suitors can be approved). If there is a match, phone numbers are forwarded. They cannot be traded during the initial eight-minute meeting, to reduce pressure (especially on women) to accept or reject a suitor to their face.”
It is great that you are dating such a grand and lovely guy! And remember not every guy is born with an inner jerk; maybe this one is one of the rare guys without one :)
Oh No, DoGGa, I am shocked! ;) Never, ever show your willy, not even a fake one, in those crucial first 5 minutes ;) Hope you know better by now :)
Congratulations Snowqueen! I know it can really work out well. I know several couples who met each other through dating sites or the Internet. It’s a bit of a gamble (what part of life isn’t?) but if people are willing to play the “game” they can meet the love of their life or at least a few new friends :)
Oh No, Zoom!. Don’t give up, never ever give up! The right man is out there, I am sure! You just haven’t met him yet :)
Maybe you have a bit of a wrong man magnet inside you :) According to one of my friends, you have to change the way you think about men. When you have changed the way you think about men, the way you present yourself will change and you will attract other types of men. I am not quite sure that it works, but I like to think that it will after all, when you invest positive energy, you get a lot of positive things in return.
I don't know anything about speed dating. Usually I've been running literally into all my relationships ;-). And to be honest, since I'm married now for 11 years, I'm completely out of this business.
But I do a lot about boys/men who don't get it: One of my male friends asked me once why I'm so succesfull with girls (red blush on my site...).
I answered: "I love to be with girls, I like to talk with girls and I favour them as my friends in general."
His reply: "If I want to have sex with a girl, I'm interested in her, otherwise I don't see any need for communication...
Me: "That's something you may rethink..."
Could be that a lot of blokes are like my friend...
not tried speed dating nor want to. as for men & their intelligence level, heh. i love men but sometimes i dunno. can't live with them, can't kill them :p
We have speed dating here too, but as I've already come across a number of men (and who knows, maybe some women) who consider themselves "single" while in Brussels but are actually very much attached somewhere else, it seems to me like a non-starter in this city, except perhaps for those young enough not to have formed many attachments yet - and they still have plenty of other ways to meet people!
I’m no expert either, Wanderingthinker and I don’t want to become an expert on speed-dating :) I think you have the right idea. It’s a pity that some men still see women as a sexual object with a license to clean.
LOL! Boo
I don’t know if speed-dating is a big success in the Netherlands, Qaminante. Usually these things are popular for a short period only and then something new pops up.
I think you can find self-proclaimed singles all over the world, it spreads like wildfire.
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