Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#38)

Boost your Mood

Are you unhappy, depressed, down or just in a bad mood? Don’t worry this too shall pass, it’s not like you are doomed to feel like this the rest of your life. Believe it or not, but the way you perceive things is a learned skill. Everyone can learn how to look at the world through more optimistic eyes. Over the next few weeks I will give you some tips which will hopefully improve your mood and make you feel more optimistic and upbeat.

Get rid of emotional vampires.

What is an “emotional vampire”?

There are many definitions but for the most part, an “emotional vampire” is anyone who seems to be determined to “feed on you” emotionally in an attempt to build up their own self-esteem and emotional strength. They are a drag on your life and they will keep you from being successful in whatever you do. They are negative people who are willing to destroy your life because they want you to be as miserable as them. They tend to put you down, criticize or mock you and sabotage your hopes, dreams and aspirations. They tend to complain and not just once, they usually have one issue that they repeat 10 times. They just can’t stand to see anyone happier in their lives than them. They tend to hunt for empathetic, caring, compassionate and unselfish people.

So, do you attract “emotional vampires” or losers into your life? Are you a vampire magnet? If the answer is yes, read on!

“Emotional vampires” and losers slow us down and make us feel less happy, they literally drain our batteries. If we want to be happier, more optimistic and energetic we have to avoid “emotional vampires”. Depressed and negative people allow “emotional vampires” to suck their positive feelings right out of them.

Take stock by making a list of people, habits and situations you expose yourself to. Try to place everything and everyone in two categories in other words, try to find out how they make you feel a) happy/optimistic/energetic or b) unhappy/negative/drained.
Then, dispose of or limit people, habits or situations that keep you from feeling optimistic and happy. That may well mean you have to burn some bridges, but sometimes you do have to take some drastic measures to achieve your goal and boost your mood. Remember: Happy and optimistic people hang around with personal cheerleaders, and we all want those. Unhappy people tend to surround themselves with “emotional vampires”.

So, try to avoid “emotional vampires”, burn bridges if necessary, but if you can’t, below you will find some tips on how to deal with “emotional vampires”:

• Remind yourself constantly that their behaviour is their problem and not yours.
• When a complainer starts complaining over and over again, listen once, and say, ‘I hear you. Now what are you going to do about it?’ Help them come up with a solution if you like, but dump them where they stand when they only can come up with even more problems.
• Don't get sucked into their everlasting series of melodramas.
• Limit your interactions with them as much as possible. Don’t go looking for them if you don’t really have to.
• Always keep your cool.
• Use a tone of voice that is not cold or cruel, but that does send the message that you be determined to keep your emotional distance.
• Once they see that they cannot simply engage you or bug you, the “emotional vampires” will likely figure out that you are on to them and chances are that they will stop targeting you for emotional harassment.
  
  
  Next week in MBSS: Tip four.