Words Men Use

Phil posted Words Women Use, so I feel compelled to post Words Men Use. Hey come on, everyone needs a translation occasionally ;)

It’s a guy thing.
There is no rational pattern connected with it and you [woman] will have no chance at all of making sense of it.

Can I help with dinner?
This usually means what is taking you so long to make dinner…no I really do not want to help.

"Uh huh", or "sure honey", or "yes dear"
This is a conditional response and means nothing. They are probably blanking out what you are saying – happens during sports on T.V.

It would take too long to explain.
This actually means they [men] have no idea how it works or how to fix something.

Take a break honey, you are working too hard.
This means that whatever she is doing he can not hear the game on T.V. [i.e. Vacuuming]

That’s interesting dear.
This means are you still talking about that same thing. I’m really not interested.

You know how bad my memory is.
Means – I remember everything that interests me but I forgot your birthday or our anniversary.

Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself. It’s no big deal.
Really means – I have severed a limb and may bleed to death, but I am not hurt. I need to go to the hospital for stitches, but I am a man. OR I need you to help me now before I bleed to death before your eyes.

Hey, I have got my reasons for what I am doing.
Really means – I will think of a reason really soon and then I will tell you.

I can’t find it
I am clueless – nothing just fell into my open arms when I was standing there.

What did I do this time?
Really means – what did you catch me doing now that I should not be doing?

I heard you
Means, I have not the foggiest idea what you are talking about or what you just said and I am having trouble faking it.

You know I could never love anyone else
Translated means - I am used to how you yell at me and I know it could be worse with someone else.

You look terrific
Means – please do not try on another outfit, we have to go.

I am not lost; I know exactly where we are.
Translated means – No one will ever see us again and I am too proud to ask for directions.

We share the housework
Translated means – I make the mess and she cleans them up.