Thursday, January 18, 2007

How will people remember you?

Last week I was reading a Dutch book called Stormvleugels by Ciel van Sambeek. It’s a stunning story about love, losing a loved one, family, homosexuality, IVF, mourning, depression, starting a business and so much more. At one point in the book, the main character is reflecting on her life and decides it time to change things around after asking herself this question “How will people remember me?”

From the book:
“How will people remember me? That, of course, depends on who you would ask. One person will describe you this way, the next person probably different. But what if I wanted to be something I am not at the moment, would I still have enough time to change that? Can I learn the virtues I need for that?
In the end it is really simple. I want to be remembered as an amiable human being. Someone who could really listen. Someone who offered advice. A friend who was there in time of need. Someone who could comfort people and sympathize. And I would like to be missed, because when you are missed you actually were an essential part of people’s life. It’s like they say: You don’t know what you're missing, till it’s gone”

Of course this question made me wonder. How will they remember me once I’m gone? Will they just remember my name or my face, or just remember me as their neighbour, the weird blogger, the lady who read a lot of books, the person who thought she could take photos, a friend, an acquaintance? Or will they remember me for who I am and all the things I stood for? In my case, you could ask 10 people and you would probably get 10 different answers, but in the end the essence would be the same, or at least I hope it would be. So, I guess I am doing okay.

How about you? Have you ever thought about this? I believe this is a question we all should ask ourselves on occasion. Are you living how you should? Are people going to remember you the way you want?

8 comments:

Phil said...

Cor, now this is a question and a half Dakota! You know how to pick 'em alright :0)
I have actually thought about this extensively, in my own little world, and came to the conclusion that it's really only a matter of time as we will all be forgotten after a generation or two, unless we make our mark in history to extend that period.
I hope I'm remembered for being a nice guy, although with his troubles, a nice guy never the less.
With some of the stuff I've been up to recently, it may prolong my history, e.g. video extra, but really, if no one knows who 'he' is, I'm just 'another' guy in the archives!
How you will be remembered is a very, very short term window, regarding the time line of the universe. Only the people close to you NOW will remember you... I'll just be a photo to future generations and then forgotten altogether E.G. Who is your great, great, great grand mother? You may have pictures, but you you'll never know who she 'really' is.
I just want to leave the best imprint with the people I'm with now, that's all... End of :]
Kind of depressing, but somewhat freeing that thought, do you not think?

KJ's muse said...

Excellent questions. I'll have to take some time to reflect on them.

Sounds like a great book!

Phil said...

Another tough one Dakota. surprisingly I have not put that much thought into it and I have one foot in the grave probably. I want people to remember me by my acts of kindness (damn it) and my sense of humor. Also I want them to remember that you should enjoy your life because it can change in the blink of an eye. I am more in the moment that I ever was before

b o o said...

she loved to laugh & make people laugh :)

Dakota said...

I don’t think that is depressing, DoGGa. I think it’s very realistic.
I personally don’t care about the generations to come, and if or how they are going to remember me, know me or forget me all together. I think the impression you are going to leave with the people near and dear to you is much more important. I think you are going to be remembered just the way you want to be remembered. For some reason I truly believe you going to make sure they do :)
Thanks for your open and sincere comment!

Take all the time you need, KJ’s Muse :)

It’s a brilliant book!

Phil, get your foot out of there :)
I think people are going to remember you by all the things you mentioned, but I think they are also going to remember your new view on life. Living in the moment leaves an impression on people.

That is a nice way to be remembered, Boo but I think you are going to be remembered for so much more. You are a brave, courageous, intelligent, witty, beautiful and wise lady and people aren’t going to forget that :)

Aoj and The Lurchers said...

This is something I've thought about as well...not for some time, but thought about nonetheless.

I would like to be remembered for having made a difference. It might just be something small that I did for someone, perhaps insignificant at the time, or it might be something bigger that made a lot of difference to a lot of people. Either way, just so long as I helped someone, somewhere.

Anonymous said...

I am a university lecturer but in our office I have a couple of other roles - keeping the peace around car parking permits and also sorting out everyone to collect the postbag (I won't go into the boring details of why and how this came about!). I was musing the other day that when I leave, instead of eulogies about my inspiring teaching and brilliant scholarship, at the leaving party they will praise my diplomacy at handling the car parking and post!!

Dakota said...

I don’t think it’s something you have to think a bout all the time, Aoj. But I think the question deserve some attention from time to time.
I like how you want to be remembered, making a difference in someone’s life, helping out, is always a great thing because it means you made a difference. And here is the best thing; you can make sure you will be remembered that way just by helping out! But hey, you probably did that already :)

I don’t believe a single word of that, Snowqueen :) Of course they are going talk about your inspiring teaching and brilliant scholarship and so much more. They will however praise your diplomacy too; it’s just part of who you are.