Happy Halloween ;)

Have fun!

A different cartoon on Cartoon Tuesday!

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#20)

Top tips to fix your state of mind.

Mend your mood, change your way of thinking, boost your positivity and feel better about yourself with these tips.

Sit still and observe.
During a stressful period, take 5 minutes to sit still and observe your own mind at work. Simply watch your thoughts and feelings without judgment and separate yourself from your negative emotions without suppressing them. View them as an outsider would. No need for judgement, no need to do anything with them, just let them come and go!

Rest and relax.
A lot of people these days are sleep-deprived and overworked. They are exhausted, burned out and moody. Don’t let this happen to you. The next time you feel miserable, moody, cranky or sad and depressed, listen to your body. How tired are you really? Tired!? Start to relax and let go (if only for a couple of minutes). Take a yoga class, visit a sauna, read a book for a couple of minutes, lie down…… just go for it! You will feel better and will work more efficiently.

Be nurturing, be kind.
Sometimes when things are really hard and life really sucks, it’s hard to put on a happy face. Putting on a happy face at these times can be even worse then letting yourself go. At those times, be nice and gentle to yourself and look for the nurturing person inside you. The kind of person who says, “Go ahead, feel what you need to feel, feel your feelings, this isn’t the end of the world. Things will look better in the morning”, “Bad days exists so that you will appreciate the good days even more”. Don’t be too hard on yourself and give yourself permission to go with the flow. Treat yourself to a nice meal, take a nap, give yourself a long hot bath, make some hot chocolate and add some whipped cream.

Make contact with another living being.
No, I am not talking about calling a friend are talking with someone. No, I actually mean make contact…….touch someone in a comforting way. Ask for a hug from a loved one (or a stranger, if you have the guts), get a haircut or a facial, get a massage or take a ballroom dancing class. Pet your dog, rabbit, cat or hamster. Don’t underestimate the power of the physical touch.

List 5 things.
List 5 things you love with all your senses and see how your mood improves by simply writing down 25 answers. Write 5 endings to these sentences:
"I love the sound of…………..”
"I love the sight of…………..”
"I love the smell of…………..”
"I love the feel of…………..”
"I love the taste of…………..”

Consult an elder.
There was a time when you had to visit the “tribal elders” for a piece of wisdom. In this day and age we live in a time where the wisest things ever said, thought, or written are available to all of us. Safe your favourite quotes from wise people in a place where you can see them (often). Write them in your diary, stick them on your refrigerator, keep them on your desktop, or make a welcoming message out of them on your phone. Store books that will lift you spirit on your bedside table, where they are available to be read and reread often. Spend a few minutes with your gathered wisdom when your mood needs lifting.

Collect items that make you laugh.
Collect a stack of items that make you laugh and keep them in your house or workplace. A DVD might do the trick, or a funny picture, stand-up comedy, books, a cartoon, a funny website, or the phone number of your funniest friend. When you are feeling down, spend 15 minutes (or until you can at least crack a smile) with your stack of laughter.

Lend a helping hand.
Feeling powerless/helpless is a main part of depression and anger, but there is no need for that. You might think that the power lies in being able to command others into helping you, but that’s not true. In reality it’s the other way around. People who are helped feel less powerful, while helpers feel more powerful. Helping out others will give your self-esteem a real boost. Start lending a helping hand.

20 things you are grateful for.
Yup, another list thingy. Think of 20 things you are thankful for and name them out loud. After you are done, think of 20 more and never repeat yourself. What? You can’t do it? Sure you can, you just not trying hard enough :) Start with the obvious; for example, give thanks for your ability to feel, smile, smell, love, cry, taste, hear, the sun, seasons, rain, wind, your friends, friendship, family, Snow Patrol, teardrops apples, pictures, music, and art. Oh, hmm…. You are not grateful for those things? Well, if you think you can do this better, come up with your own list then. Go ahead, the possibilities are endless!

Feeling lonely?

Are you wandering online by yourself a lot? Well, maybe it’s time for a PDA! Yes a PDA a Personal Digital Assistant! And I am not talking about a little gizmo computer which you can store in your inside pocket …....No, I am talking about a real Lady here: Ms. Dewey. This spirited, saucy lady is an online specialist pur-sang and she will be delighted to help you with every web search you might have. Oh a bit of a warning...... she isn’t the docile type….she likes a bit of discipline ;)

Is the summer ever going to end?

Okay, we have had some (to be honest very little) autumn weather, but this is actually getting quite ridiculous right about now. November is just around the corner and I ate my lunch outside in the sunshine (temperature 22º C/71.6ºF) today. Normally it would be 12º C by now. But hey, I am not complaining…..I am enjoying it (and that’s why you are now ending up with this lame blog post :þ). On the other hand, I like the seasons too…..

This morning I went for a long walk and on a small quest actually. I wanted to find some mushrooms to photograph. That’s kind of hard; because where I live you can find absolutely anything and everything except a real forest. In my little village (don’t say that…..the village thinks it’s a city!), they throw a few trees and shrubs together and call it a forest or a park, but IMHO it’s not even that. When you can walk through it in 15 minutes it’s not a park, it’s a green area. Okay, honestly, they are nice, but not what I was looking for…….

At the end of my walk I found some fungus/mushroom (or should I say toadstools because they are toxic as soon as the ink starts dripping), however not the kind I was looking for. I found some Coprinus comatus, the shaggy ink cap, lawyer's wig, or shaggy mane. Not very interesting, but I was pleased with the pictures I took. So, since I was in a creative mood I turned them into a little project and I think they are much more interesting to look at now ;) Feel free to disagree!

Lost something?

Yesterday I came across this lovely and fun site called Found magazine.
Picture shows today’s find -------->

They collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles - anything that gives a glimpse into someone else's life. Anything goes really...

It reminded me of the found abandoned shopping lists Stu shared on his blog some time ago:)

Check it out!

PS: Make sure you read their About page, they have a great example of a Found note on there

Cartoon Tuesday: Talk

No Wonder!

Dove has launched a new commercial, labelled “a Dove film”, called “Evolution”. This commercial, that shows the alterations that can be made to a woman, is part of the “Campaign for real beauty”.

In the beginning of this video a woman walks into a photo shoot. When she sits down she is transformed into a glamour magazine cover girl by hair- and make-up artists and a lighting team. They take the pictures they need, which are then digitally retouched and tweaked with a Photoshop like program. The photo manipulation is then posted on a billboard for a fictional foundation. Two teenage girls walk past, looking at the billboard. The film ends with the words, "No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted. … Every girl deserves to feel beautiful just the way she is." The commercial:


I think it’s great that Dove started the “Campaign for real beauty” in which they use real women. In my opinion this video really has a role in helping young people have a healthier body image and I also believe it will help a lot of women with self esteem issues too. And women need all the help they can get because here is a sad fact: Only two percent of women surveyed worldwide consider themselves beautiful. Now how sad is that! Come on girls, teenagers and women, let’s change this around.


….and you know it!

For more information:
Campaign for real beauty – UK
Campaign for real beauty – Canada
Campaign for real beauty – USA
Initiative Fuer Wahre Schoenheit (German)
Tijd voor echte Schoonheid (Dutch)

Stickers

Mind, Body & Soul Session (#19)

Beat the Seasonal Blues

Seasonal mood variations are believed to be related mostly to daylight, not temperature. If you live in a climate where daylight hours are shortened (most of these are at northern latitudes, where there is little daylight in the winter) you are most likely to get something like SAD (SAD! - how appropriate - is short for Season Affective Disorder).

SAD is a type of depression that follows the seasons. The most common type of SAD is called winter depression and it has an affect on a lot of people every winter between September and April. During the winter months; December, January and February, there are even more sufferers due to the short days.

We all know that sunlight affects the seasonal activities of animals (i.e., reproductive cycles and hibernation). SAD might be an effect of this seasonal light variation in humans. As seasons change, there is a shift in our “biological clocks”, due partly to these changes in sunlight patterns. This can cause our biological clocks to be out of “step” with our daily schedules.

How to recognize SAD.

Although your symptoms are clues to the diagnosis, not everyone with SAD has the same symptoms. Common symptoms of winter depression include the following:

• Sleep problems: excessive sleeping, difficulty staying awake, in some cases, disturbed sleep and early morning wakening;
• Anxiety: tension and inability to tolerate stress
• Overeating: craving for carbohydrates and sweet foods, usually resulting in weight gain during the fall or winter months;
• Lethargy: feelings of extreme fatigue, inability to maintain regular lifestyle schedule;
• Depression: feelings of sadness, loss of feelings, apathy, feelings of guilt, loss of self-esteem, sometimes despair and hopelessness, combined with irritability ;
• Social problems: lack of interest in social interactions, losing interest in activities of enjoyment;
• Loss of libido: Less interest in sex and physical contact

How to Banish the Blues.

Here are some tips for those of us (yeah, me too) who suffer from SAD as soon as the leaves start to drop. In fact, these tips will help anyone who has occasional spells of mild depression, whether seasonal or not!

1. If you think you have mild SAD, light therapy might be the way to go. Light therapy has been shown to be effective in up to 85 per cent of diagnosed cases. Light boxes are quite expensive so you might want to try some of the other tips first.

2. Try to spend at least ten to fifteen minutes outdoor during the daylight hours. Spending time in nature can be very helpful to. On weekends, take a walk in the woods, visit a park or go to the beach.

3. Make sure you get plenty of exercise (walking is one of the best exercises for depression. It is nearly impossible to think bad thoughts while you are walking briskly), rest, fluids (drink water), and mineral-rich foods. Try oatmeal! Oats are great for mood swings, nerves, and depression. Eat healthier food!

4. Stick to a daily routine. Go to bed on time (preferably before midnight), arrive at work on time, plan your day and make a list of what you want to accomplish and check things off as you accomplish them. Save challenging projects for when you are not fighting (winter) depression

5. Surround yourself with pictures of sunny, colourful scenes. Listen to heart-warming music, watch funny movies and wear warm and comfy clothes in bright colours.

6. Practice smiling: research shows it really helps us to feel more cheerful!

7. If you feel the need…..talk about your SAD. Talk with a friend, a family member or a physician, see a nurse in a clinic or a psychologist. Don’t keep your feelings all bottled up.

8. Decide that the weather can not affect your mood. You cannot change the weather. If the weather is bad, allow a little extra time to get to work. Accept the weather as it is and move on. Don’t forget to enjoy the sunny days as much as possible.

In conclusion, don't give up on yourself and don’t beat yourself up when you’re down, it will only make things worse. There are many ways to ease the symptoms of SAD, some might work and others won’t and hey, if you still feel bad, just yell for help!

Rendezvous with the Devil.

One of my goals on 43T was “go to a movie by myself” and it was quite hard to accomplish that. Not because I am afraid to go on my own, I do that a lot actually, but because I’d run into friends while I tried to go on my own the last couple of times. But now, I finally did it. I went to see The Devil Wears Prada yesterday and I had a great time.

I’d read the book some time ago and now watched the movie and I liked it! This came as a surprise to me because I usually like the book better. I don’t want to turn this into a movie review (or spoil everything if you haven’t seen it yet) but I’d like to say that it is a really entertaining movie with lines like: “By all means move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me” – Miranda Priestly/Meryl Streep.

Meryl Streep is brilliant btw, but isn’t she always? She is absolutely amazing as Miranda Priestly. Like all Streep’s characters, it is constructed from the inside out. It's what she holds back, does not show (but subtly hints at), that gives her character humanity and gains your sympathy. She is one of those rare people who is able to convey more with an eyebrow, or by pursing her lips, than with an entire page of dialog. I love her!

I don’t love Miranda Priestly though, but that is personal. She reminds me of one of my former employers too much. The “dragon lady” I worked for always wore designer labels, big sunglasses, Chanel No5, went to 4 hour lunches and soirees in the evenings, and possessed almost the same character traits. There was only one difference: Miranda Priestly actually has a powerful job (demanding fashion editor), my “boss” lived in a dream world and thought she was a very important businesswoman. It was kind of sad to watch actually. There she was strutting her stuff, never there when clients called and never up-to-date on client files. So, she went to business meetings completely clueless. Sad! So glad I resigned.

Okay, I completed my goal and had fun doing it! If you ever want to give it a try, go ahead, it’s not scary and oh there is another advantage too…..you have the popcorn all to yourself!

Organize This turns into Organize That!

I was quite amazed by all the response I’ve got on yesterdays post. Apparently a lot of you are into cooking and want to share recipes. So, how are we going to do this? Are we going to:

• join Angela’s recipe blog (if she will take us),
• join yummy food stuff (if they'd have us),
• are we going to create a new team blog?

Suggestions are more then welcome!

Organize this!

Two weeks ago I was looking for one of my favourite recipes, but I wasn’t able to find it. Not so surprising since I have recipe boxes and plain boxes full of recipes, folders filled with torn out pages from magazines and newspapers and a lot of downloaded recipes. Over the years I collected dozens and dozens of them. Usually I can find the recipe I am looking for quite easily because there is a system, well sort of, in all that chaos, but recently one of my friends was looking for something and he really made a mess of things. Result: I can’t find a thing! Time to start organizing my recipes I thought.

First I collected all my recipes. OMG, I never knew I had so many. Then it was time to put on my sorting hat while I started to sort out all my recipes into categories, such as salads, side dishes, meat, poultry, vegetarian, pasta, fish and desserts. It’s amazing how much stuff you collect over the years. I was also amazed by the fact that I had incomplete recipes. How on earth did they end up in my recipe jumble? I was even more surprised to find a lot of recipes that had lost their appeal all together. Peoples taste really change over time.

At the moment I am in the process of putting all the recipes on my computer. I found some free Dutch software and it is really great. You can create menus and shopping lists. And as a bonus there is even some nutritional information. Woo Hoo!
There is one downside though; there is a lot of typing involved. It’s a dirty job, but someone gotta do it :) And hey, it’s not all in vain; in the end I’ll have a marvellous recipe finder on my computer. Hurrah......no more recipe chaos!

Cartoon Tuesday: Not funny ;-)

Mind, Body & Souls sessions (#18)

No Gossip Today

“Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you.”

Do you know what a “TomKat”, “Brangelina” or a “Vaughniston” is? I bet some of you do. To be honest, I had to check the names on the internet to make sure I got them right. If you knew who I meant right away, it’s not so surprising because we live in a culture obsessed with real-life celebrity drama. And it doesn’t stop there. What’s going on in the lives of our friends, relatives, neighbours and colleagues is extremely fascinating too. If there is anything most people enjoy doing more than any other thing, it’s gossiping. Some people find it even more interesting than any other form of speech.

First let me say that there is nothing wrong with having an opinion about a public figure/family member/friend/relative/neighbour/colleague, or discussing current events, fashion trends, how great so-and-so looked, new movies/TV shows/soaps or favourite restaurants. But when we cross the line from discussion over into sarcasm, contempt, disdain, mockery, and scorn, we have gone too far. The trouble with gossip (idle talk, earful, hearsay, pipeline, grapevine, dish the dirt, scuttlebutt, rumour, dirt, slander, scandal – whatever the name, it is still gossip) is that it serves no real purpose. Gossip is just casual talk especially about other people’s affairs and problems. Oh, come to think of it, there might be a purpose to gossip……namely distraction!. Gossip takes you away from concentrating on what's important in your own life. In the end, it's much easier to analyze and/or judge other people’s relationships and problems than to solve your own problems or to look at your own life. Spreading rumours/stories comes from a place of judgment, from someone who is displeased with his or her own self or life. What they don’t realise is that gossip can lead to stress, hostility and contempt for others. It can also damage friendships, destroy group morale and damage reputations. Gossip is the stuff that gets people down instead of building them up. Besides, we all know how it feels to be the subject of gossip: not good! Nobody wants to be the subject of gossip.

Like I said, gossip takes you away from concentrating on what's really important, things like building meaningful relationships, friendships, taking care of your physical and emotional health, and pursuing a fulfilling life. We should be filling our (and their) minds with thoughts that are pure, honest, kind, just and good, instead of evil. So, IMHO gossip has got to go!

Easy to say, but can it be done? Maybe we should all give it a go. Let’s try to go without gossip for a day and see what we are left with to talk about when we leave the gossip and other people’s life out of the conversation. So, don’t visit websites filled with gossip or entertainment news today. Forget about the tabloids, no entertainment programs on TV/radio and no entertainment magazines. It also means not talking about other people’s (sisters, brothers, friends, neighbours or colleagues) personal life when they aren’t around.

The weather is so nice…….

It’s hard to believe it's October! I even spotted a butterfly in my garden this afternoon :)

"We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think its forever" - Dr. Carl Sagan

Isn’t she a beauty? I am talking about the butterfly here, not the picture (that stinks) ;)

In other news: I've added a RSS feed to my blog.
You'll find it there -------->> somewhere
Feel free to use it (or not!)

Don't ask her to marry you in public!

You might end up feeling just a bit embarrassed.

OUCH!

I would like one stamp, please.

On Monday I received a really nice handmade card from one of my mother’s sisters, also known as one of my (old) aunts. Yesterday I received another one from her. At first I thought that Alzheimer had kicked in, but as it turned out she had send me the second one because she could not include the gift certificate she wanted to send me in the first one.

Today I wrote her a nice thank-you-note, but in my opinion that wasn’t enough. So, I went to one of the local card shops and bought a nice cheerful card for her. Wrote a little bit extra in the card and then it was off to the post office for a € 0.39 stamp. I was a bit surprised to find out that I had to wait in line on a weekday, but hey it was for a good cause, so I waited patiently.

The lady in front of me needed some stamps too. To her (and mine) surprise she heard that the post office did not sell single stamps anymore. HUH?? Bummer! So she asked for the 5 stamp sheet. “I am sorry, we only sell sheets with 10 stamps on them these days” was the reply she got. The lady really needed the stamp so she bought them.

I was a bit flabbergasted and asked the post office lady if I really needed to buy 10 stamps when I only use maybe 3 or 4 regular stamps in a year.
Her answer: ‘Yes!’
My reply: ‘How ridiculous! I need to buy 10 stamps now and by the end of the year I can’t use them anymore because you change the rate next year’.
Her answer: ‘but you can use them next year. You’ll only need to buy another 10 stamps to pay for the difference then. You can stick these next to the old ones and you’ll be good to go’
Me: ‘but if I use, lets say, 5 of the current stamps, and then have to buy 10 stamps to pay for the difference in the beginning of 2007, I’ll be left with 5 stamps which I can't use because I haven't got any more € 0.39 stamps left. What do I do with the rest of them? Should I just throw them away? That’s just plain robbery!’
She: ‘Well, that’s your problem! Don't send mail, email instead. Oh, and if you don’t like this, write to the post office people!’
Me: *sigh* ‘I think I will!’

But what to do next? I could not send the card without a stamp. When I walked towards the exit I saw the 10-stamps-buying-lady again and said ‘this might come across very bold, but do you have any spare stamps? If you have, I would like to buy one from you :)’. She smiled at me and said she would be delighted to sell me one! Hooray!! I was so happy; I almost hugged her :) So glad, there are still nice people out there!!

Oh and in case you are wondering, we are both going to file a complaint with the post office people :)

Cartoon Tuesday: spending money!

Mind, Body & Soul sessions (#17)

Strike a (relaxing) pose, there's nothing to it.

Every one of us needs survival techniques to help us manoeuvre through life's difficult days. When everything threatens to overwhelm us, we need a way to hold ourselves together until the storm passes, or perhaps we simply need a way to let everything fall apart without losing ourselves completely. One great survival tool is yoga. One hour of yoga will make you feel less anxious and less stressed and ready to face the world again. The process of controlled breathing and deep stretches can help you clear your mind and relax your body. Of course there are all sorts of yoga and I want to talk about restorative yoga. And this, by the way, is not the kind where you have to bend yourself in pretzel-like shapes.

Restorative yoga is a gentle form of yoga that is designed to quiet the nervous system and give the body a chance to rejuvenate and heal itself. It focuses on relaxing the body in restful poses. Once you set yourself up in a restorative pose, the only work you need to do is to relax and breathe. It is a real treat, and a powerful tool to have in your arsenal of stress-reduction techniques.
You can practice restorative yoga at any time of the day. You can start your day with a pose, which is a great way to gently wake up the body and clear the mind before launching into the day. It is also helpful to practice a restorative pose at the end of the day, before bed. It can slow the body and mind down, and prepare you for sleep. Many who practice restorative poses (at any time of the day), find that they sleep better and their energy levels are higher.

Many yoga studios offer restorative classes on Fridays, when everyone could use a little help relaxing. If you like today's pose (description below) and think it feels good, check in with your local studio and see if they offer a restorative yoga class.

Today I am going to introduce you to the: Viparita Karani - Legs-up-the-Wall Pose.
All you need for this pose is a little floor space in front of a wall and a folded up blanket (or a yoga mat/sleeping bag/soft carpet/quilt/duvet, anything will do, just as long it is comfortable to lie down on). I like to do my restorative yoga in a comfortable and quiet room. I close the door and turn on some relaxing music (if you don’t have any relaxing music, you can find it here - just try one of the mini-players).

Now find an empty spot of wall with a clear floor space in front of it. Place your soft mattress (you know, the blanket/mat/quilt….whatever) on the floor so one end touches the wall. Sit down next to the wall (on your mattress) so that your right side is against the wall. Your right hip should be touching the wall; your legs extended out in front of you, parallel to the wall.

Bend your knees in toward your chest so your heels come toward your buttocks. Now roll down onto your left side, so that your entire body (or the left side of it) is on the mattress. The bottom of your feet and your behind should be flat against the wall. Now roll onto your back and straighten your legs up against the wall. You should be in an L shape with your back on the floor and your legs up the wall (see picture). If this is a problem for your hamstrings, slide away from the wall and make sure there is a gap between your thighs and the wall.)

You can rest your hands on your belly, or you can extend your arms out over your head for an additional shoulder opening. Close your eyes and hold the pose. Breathe deeply, relax, and listen to the music. Focus on nothing else.

When I do this I just breathe and surrender. As my legs drain, my mind empties and my belly soften. I stay in this pose for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, sometimes a half an hour or more, until the pose has drawn every last drop of fear, worry, angst and agitation from my body. But you don’t have to stay in this pose that long. Anywhere from 3-20 minutes, or as long as it feels good, is sufficient.

When you are ready to return to reality, bend your knees and roll onto your left side. Slide yourself away from the wall and gently (slowly!) come back up into a seated position. You should feel rested, refreshed and renewed now.

Have a fantastic day!

Cautions: Do not practice Legs-Up-the Wall Pose during heavy menstruation or pregnancy, or if you suffer from glaucoma, detached retinas, or if you have congestion in your ears. Also, if you have blood pressure or heart problems, this pose might not be right for you. Check with your doctor if you are not sure. When you do the Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose the first time, pay attention. If you feel pressure building in your face, then come down (slowly).It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Why people should not lie.

Every year the postman delivers a little card to my door saying:

“Hi there, lady of the house! Autumn and winter are just around the corner, so we think it’s time for the annual central-heating system inspection. We’ll be around your place on October, 5^th so please make sure that there is someone there to let us in.

Your best friend on cold winter days,
The central-heating guy”

Of course they didn’t write this, but it was something similar I guess.

Since I knew the guy was coming today, I cleaned the area around the boiler (is that what it’s called in English? I mean the thing that heats the water and heats the house) yesterday. I cleared away some stuff (so he would have easy access) and mopped the floor (so he wouldn’t get dirty while doing his job).Oh, I am just too kind ;) Anyway, it’s not a huge task, just something that needs to be done (occasionally). So after I finished the job, I got on with the rest of my daily stuff and it actually was a very pleasant day.

In the early hours of the evening the telephone ringed and I answered. It was Mrs. central-heating guy. She called to inform me that Mr. central-heating guy was not able to get here on the 5^th. He had been in a car accident and he had just called her (while he was still inside the wreckage) to tell her the whole story. Now she called me to reschedule and a new date was picked. At first I was all sympathetic and said things like but then I remembered something. So I said ‘that central-heating guy of yours must be a real lousy driver?’ Her response was ‘huh? No, he has never had an accident in his life. Why do you say stuff like that?’ My response was ‘well, last year you cancelled the appointment too and if I remember it correctly you told me the exact same story at the time’. The line went deadly quiet after that..................

I am curious to see if Mr. central-heating guy still is going to show his face on the new date :)

Questions?

I bet I can come up with a lot of questions that can’t be answered by the Presbyterian Church ;) What are they suggesting here? They have all the answers? Or just some answers? Hmmz… if the latter is the case, you would have to ask the right questions to get an answer!
At least you can ask Google anything, they are not picky. You always get an answer! Perhaps not the answer you were looking for ….. but hey, if they are not picky, how can we be ;)

Overheard conversation.

Last Saturday was probably one of the last nice Saturday’s we are going to have this year. The sun was shining, a nice breeze was blowing and the temperature was still very high for this time of year. So to celebrate, I treated myself to a nice cup of espresso outside one of the local cafes. While I was sitting there, enjoying my Lavazza (or maybe Illy –sorry I wasn’t paying attention) coffee and pecan cinnamon roll, I overheard a conversation two ladies had at the table behind me.

Apparently one of the ladies was thinking about marriage and she asked the other one for her opinion about it and this was her answer:
"The thing with marriage is, that you are going to take things for granted after a while, little thing like being together, doing things together, enjoying each others company. I think couples should sort of decide to remarry every day. They should look each other in the eye at the beginning of each day and decide there and then if they would say Yes again. Yes, because they want to be with that person for the remainder of the day. Yes, because the other person can give them what they need. And Yes because, although they have changed, they are still right for each other!
Other times I think it would be a great idea if you could just lease a husband or some love, so that it wasn’t a lifelong commitment. Picture it….you could take out a 12 month lease, with the right of renewal when you are still happy together after the initial first 12 months.
And sometimes I think it would be best if there was some sort of test you had to take every two years. Or wouldn’t it be great if there was some sort of evaluation every year. During a supervised session you could talk about all your likes and dislikes and in the end you could decide to stay on or look elsewhere.*silence* Hmm….but, I guess that was not the answer you were looking for."

I am quite sure that wasn’t the answer the other lady was looking for, but I have to say I can agree with some of the things the lady said. I think that in long term relationship a lot of people take things for granted. And to make it even worse, there are people out there who can’t even remember why they fell in love with the other person in the first place. That's so sad!
I also like the idea of a 12 month lease. Why are people these days still committing to a lifelong thing? Okay, let’s be honest, they say they go for the lifelong thing, but people divorce with so much ease these days that at one point I thought it was the latest trend. IMHO, marriage was never intended to last 60 or 70 years. When people first started to get married they were considered lucky if they made it till their tenth wedding anniversary. People didn’t get to celebrate their 80^th birthday way back then. So why not introduce another form of marriage? Or, more extreme, why not get rid of the whole marriage concept? There are a lot of other options to choose from these days. Maybe it will solve a lot of problems….. or maybe a lot of new problems will arise. Not sure about that. I am sure however, that marriage is not my thing. I never liked the concept and I never had the dream to get marriage or be a princess for a day. So, I never made it to the altar…........hooray!:)

Cartoon Tuesday: bigger is not always better.

Mind, Body & Soul sessions (#16)

Try something new, step out of your box and colour outside the lines.

Last week I talked about letting go. By letting go of any remaining pain you might be carrying around, you can clear some mental and emotional space to welcome new people, new adventures and new situations into your life. Well, I don’t know if anybody has done this, but if you have, there might be a void now, an opening for something new, exciting and fulfilling. But were do you find something new and fulfilling? Hmmz… I don’t know ;) Kidding, I do know! Most of the time you will find something new, when you try something new! And NEW is the keyword here. So, why not start with leaving your comfort zone as a first step.

Your comfort zone is the place where you feel comfortable, the place where you feel safe, the place where you are in control, the place where you’re not at risk of embarrassment. It is also the place that is filled with your day to day activities. But like I said, it’s time to add something new into the mix, so get of your comfortable couch (a.k.a leave your comfort zone) and try something new and exciting. Oh, and I am not talking about bungee jumping (but you can do that too, if you really want) here, I am talking about the smaller things in life like:

• - going to a new restaurant,
• - dressing differently,
• - taking a (cooking) class,
• - trying a new sport,
• - saying hi to a stranger,
• - changing your daily routine,
• - learning to pole dance,
• - taking a different route to (or from) work,
• - getting a new hairstyle or new colour,
• - trying new food items,
• - listening to new music,
• - learning to play an instrument / a new language / a new dance,
• - reading different books,
• - going to new supermarket,
• - joining a book club,
• - learning to knit,
• - taking a trip to a nearby city or how about exploring a new neighbourhood that you haven’t set foot in before.

See, all easy things to start with :)

So, why not take 5 (or 10) minutes to list some new things you would like to try. Be creative! Make it a list about naming the things that sound interesting, fun, heart-warming and enjoyable (and not a list about the things you feel you should do). When you are done, look at your list and try to figure out which thing is calling to you the loudest. Just dedicate yourself to doing that one thing next week to make it a reality. It’s okay if it’s not the most ambitious item on your list. Don’t feel guilty if it’s the smallest item on your list….size (or importance) does not matter!! It only matters that you did it.