Last week one of my friends celebrated her birthday. We (her friends) think it was one of the big ones but we are not quite sure because she is very secretive about her age. Anyway to celebrate in style she had arranged a picnic complete with parasols which was nice because it had been 36º C / 96,8º F again that day. Of course there was other stuff too. Wi
ne, beer, bread, sandwiches, a mini barbeque, water, salads etc. and she had brought something else along too……. A new boyfriend! Hooray another one! ;) Not a real surprise because my friend goes through boyfriends like others devour a bag of Cheetos. It has gotten so bad by now that we (her friends) stopped paying too much attention to the guys. Oh, we talk to them and are nice and friendly but that is about it. Why bother with the whole getting to know each other business, when we are probably not going to see him again anyway.The picnic was a great success and even the new b-friend was quite nice (in a friendly sort of way). He actually had some things to say, a.k.a an opinion…. Now that was a first! (she usually goes for the shallow silent type). We (he and I) had a very interesting chat about current events - and I don’t mean the weather ;), music and festivals, photography and much more. Very interesting and again, with that I mean the conversation and not the guy! So not my type :) When it was time to go, I said my goodbyes and hugged/kissed my friends and I pecked the new guy on the cheek too and said it would be nice to talk again sometime. (Exit single female!)
When I returned home the light on my answering machine was blinking! My friend (the birthday girl) had left me a message and it went something like this “Hi, I don’t appreciate what you did today! You probably haven’t got a clue what I am talking about, so I’ll explain it to you. You were flirting with my b-friend the whole time!! He and I didn’t spend any time together because of you. And you pecked him on the cheek!!!!……YOU NEVER DO THAT!! (she has a point there) And now I hear you are going to meet again behind my back!! (I am?? That’s news to me!). Long story short…..I think it is better we don’t see each other for a while. And don’t think about calling me back because I won’t answer the phone. Thanks for ruining my birthday!” (Exit drama queen!!) I was totally flabbergasted after this message! Did she actually believe I was interested in this guy? Yes, according to some of my other friends. Weird! She knows he is not my type and it’s not like I’ve hooked up with one of my friends’ b-friends before….. so what is she thinking :-| And what exactly constitutes flirting anyway? If I talk to, smile or compliment a guy is that flirting? If the answer is yes, I should probably stop having any type of contact with guys because there was this other occurrence too.
During the heat wave I was forced to skip my usual exercise routine. So instead I walked or rode my bicycle in the evenings. At the end of every trip I chilled out by the river near my house. While I was sitting there I watched the boats and people go by and I greeted them. The people that is, not the boats! One evening a guy stops running and sits down besides me and says “I want to make on thing clear…. I am married!” Okay, now I am confused (keep in mind that I only greeted this guy the night before…. So I said “And?” He “well, I believe you are single and I just wanted you to know that I am off the market”. More confusion on my part! First of all, why does this guy believe I am single and second …… what is he thinking?! Does he actually believe that he is God’s gift to women or something? Man, I would rather go for a bag of Cheetos and I don’t even like Cheetos! I am not quite sure, but I think I actually said that to him :)
Perhaps by now you are thinking I was actually flirting but the whole greeting and smiling thing is all part of the random act of kindness program:
- Smile and say “hello” to someone you don’t know.
- Compliment a stranger about something they are wearing.
- Pay a compliment at least once a day.
Maybe I should get a specially made t-shirt!
Hmmz… only I am not quite sure if it would warn people off or attract even more people ;)But seriously…. I am still a bit puzzled, so here is a question fo you: what (in your opinion) exactly constitutes flirting?
11 comments:
Flirting is something you do when you are sexually attracted to people....IMHO! There's lots of body language involved, fluttering of eyelashes, lots of uneccessary touching and smiling gushingly! I suspect you have a very insecure friend who, in the first flush of romance, will see every female as a threat!
Oh, I'm SO the wrong person to ask. I have friends who flirt outrageously, and it's easy to rcognize when someone's doing that. I, on the other hand, tend to be a more subtle and cerebral flirt, and I flirt best with men who are also subtle and cerebral flirts. I don't think other people pick up on it, but I could be wrong about that.
If you honestly don't think you were flirting with the guy, my guess is you weren't.
Welcome back, by the way!
Hahahaha, what an excellent post!
Sorry about the mishap with your friend; it will all blow over soon enough I'm sure, but not a nice thing to hear on your answering machine!
You're obviously inadvertently oozing sexual prowess Dakota :]
AOJ has taken the words out of my mouth, so I would agree, 'being very friendly', 'paying compliments' and 'being tactile' very much constitutes flirting in my opinion... I love flirting!!! ;)
Typical! You try to be nice to people and you end up in trouble.
I have a friend who is determined to teach me how to flirt. I don't know why I should want to flirt with people I am not attracted to. Smile and be nice yes, but flirt? I don't think so. Was your friend perhaps confused by a change in your behaviour? Was your behaviour so very different?
Like AOJ, I think your friend sounds a bit insecure.
Its all about body language Dakota. Come on, you KNOW if you were flirting or not. Hands up if you were guilty.
Great to “see” you all again :)
Hi Aoj, thanks for stopping by :)
I certainly did not do any of obligatory things. I was not sexual attracted to any of these men.
Yuck, just thinking about them in that way gives me the creeps.
I don’t think my friends is insecure at the moment…..it’s more a case of being possessive. This guy is hers and hers alone…….so please do not: talk, touch, feed or pay any attention to the new b-friend or there will be hell to pay :)
It is nice to be back Zoom!. Oh, I am not saying I don’t flirt …..I admit it, I flirt from time to time but this time I was not.
So you are a subtle and cerebral flirt…..great! I love that. It’s a bit like being undercover……undercover flirting :)
Thanks DoGGa. Taking some time off was a great idea!
I am sure to whole thing with my friend will blow over soon, like I said… it’s a real drama queen or like one casting director once said “She could be a great actress if she had the right looks”. First she is angry, than she gets mad because I don’t call although she said not to call, next she will start to doubt her actions and than she will call me to apologize. It’s always pretty much the same!
You love flirting?? Surprise, surprise!! Who could have guessed ;)
Same old story every time Kat. It is so annoying when people confuse being nice with being flirtatious. And no, my behaviour wasn’t changed or extremely different. Same old me! But maybe that is part of the problem. Some girls/ladies feel like they have to put on an act (and be flirtatious) in front of guys and I don’t. I feel quite relaxed around guys. My brother always had a lot of friends over and I do have a lot of male friends who treat me like I am one of the guys. Huh…..strange realisation all of a sudden…..maybe I should flirt more so I would be more “normal” ;)
With respect, your honor (Andre), I plead NOT guilty!
Oops I forgot something!!
DoGGa……Me? I don’t ooze sexual prowess. *flutters eyelashes and looks innocent* ;)
Hmm... I think flirting includes any type of talking, touching, etc. that tries to further the relationship in a romantic way, but at 16, I'm still trying to figure the answer to that question out myself.
At 16 you are not supposed to have figured it out yet, Thethinker. Life wouldn’t be fun if you had it all figured it out at that age! Enjoy your exploration!
I think flirting is more than just being friendly. There is some sexual thing going on too I feel.
Oh, you are feeling it too, Phil ;)
I totally agree with you, you can’t compare flirting with just being friendly :)
Post a Comment