Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#42)

Dream big and go for it!

Last Friday, a Dutch celebrity passed away just a few weeks after he was diagnosed with cancer. The cancer had spread throughout his body, so he knew there wasn’t going to be a cure, but still, his sudden passing came as a surprise to a lot people.
But I am not going to write about his passing here (or did I just do that already?) or about the cancer, no, today I am going to write about something that is related (well sort of) to all of this.

I wasn’t a big fan of the guy, although I’ve to admit I liked him and I admired him for all the things he has achieved in his life. He was a writer of 40 books, an entertainer, a TV presenter, a musical star, a singer, a producer, an actor, a columnist, a buddy and a priest.
In one of his last interviews he said something like (I can’t find the newspaper article anymore so I am not going to quote his exact words):

I am not afraid to die, it’s just a bit too soon, but I am confident it’s going to be alright. I had a great life, accomplished my goals and did things I never thought I could. Life has been tremendously satisfying and I am very content.

And that is precisely where I am going with this.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all say/or think that before we die? I think it would be amazing! I have known a lot of people who never got the chance to realize their dreams. One example: my dad! He always wanted to take early retirement as soon as he could, and travel the world with my mom. He never did, because just one year before he finally could, he passed away.
I did learn something from it though, a very valuable lesson: never ever postpone things you really, really want to do and stop doing things you absolutely hate. So, I travelled, went to see places I always dreamed about and later on I gave up my job (which I absolutely resented, because it was sucking the life out of me). Sure, things have been tough at times, with little or no money to spend, periods of depression and rejection, but I am still here, alive and kicking, and I have never regretted the decisions I made. In fact all of this has made me stronger and happier, and I can look back on a pleasant life, I can even say I am content. Sure, I do have other dreams and I am still working on those, but by fulfilling some of them already I think I’ve changed my life around, it has made me feel richer and more content.

So, if you have dreams, big plans, want to see places, meet people, don’t wait until it’s to late! Get up, get out, and go for it! Dig up your dreams, dust them off, give them some fresh air and sunshine (or water in the form of rain, if you are lucky enough to live in Europe this summer) and remember how great they were when you first got them.
And I know, taking risks can be very uncomfortable and scary, because it can lead to failure, but it won’t kill you. Just accept the likelihood of failure, because without failure there can be no success. The choice is yours! When you get to the end of the line, do you want to end up in ‘mediocre village’ or the ‘excellent city’? Life is not meant to be endured, it is meant to be lived and experienced. Just remember you have a great opportunity and that is the opportunity to live.

So, go on, live your life to the fullest, it’s not that complicated and focus on your dreams. Don’t let life’s trials despair you and don’t let friends or family get in your way, because nobody has the right to trample your dreams. If they want to spend their life watching from the sidelines, fine, their choice. If they want to be jealous just because you have the guts to go out there and follow your dream, fine, let them be jealous. But never ever give up on your dreams and don’t allow anyone to tell you that the sky is the limit, when there have been guys on the moon!

Have a great Sunday!

Words of wisdom.

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#41)

Boost your Mood

Are you unhappy, depressed, down or just in a bad mood? Don’t worry this too shall pass, it’s not like you are doomed to feel like this the rest of your life. Believe it or not, but the way you perceive things is a learned skill. Everyone can learn how to look at the world through more optimistic eyes. Over the next few weeks I will give you some tips which will hopefully improve your mood and make you feel more optimistic and upbeat.

Don’t worry, be happy!

The quickest way to fill your life with more energy and continuous happiness is to stop worrying because worrying is the biggest happiness and energy killer. So, don’t worry, be happy is the advice I want to give you today. Not an easy task, I know, but here are a few tips that might help you:

1. Write down all the things you are worried about. Imagine what the worst-case scenario could be by asking yourself this simple question “What is the worst thing that can possibly happen?” and write this down too.
   
2. Now think about how you would act if the worst-case scenarios would become a reality. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst, if necessary.
   
3. Take action and try to improve the worst-case scenario. Ask yourself “What can I change? What can I do to keep this from becoming reality?” Look at the things you can alter right now to have a feeling of control. Feeling in control reduces your worrying and focussing on a solution raises your energy level
   
4. You will probably encounter a few worrying thoughts that you feel you can’t take any action on. Look at them, one by one. Is it realistic to worry about them, or are the thoughts unrealistic, distorted and exaggerated? Ask yourself “What are the odds this is ever going to happen at all?”
   Write down each of those unrealistic worrisome thoughts and try to come up with an alternative thought that is more realistic. Every time you catch yourself worrying, remind yourself of the alternative thought.
   
5. Learn to accept what you cannot change or have no power to control in life. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or modify, say to yourself: “This is how it is; it cannot be otherwise.” Move on!
   
6. Stop yourself worrying about the same things over and over again. Come up with a solution or let it go! You can’t saw sawdust.
   
7. Keep busy! Plenty of action is one of the best remedies; you won’t have time to think.
   
8. Don’t fuss about the little things in life.
   
9. Live by the day. Stop worrying about the past and don’t fret about the future. Live each day until bedtime and start a brand new day when you wake up!

Now, Don’t Worry, Be Happy!

and have a marvellous Sunday!

Next week in MBSS: Tip seven

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#40)

Boost your Mood

Are you unhappy, depressed, down or just in a bad mood? Don’t worry this too shall pass, it’s not like you are doomed to feel like this the rest of your life. Believe it or not, but the way you perceive things is a learned skill. Everyone can learn how to look at the world through more optimistic eyes. Over the next few weeks I will give you some tips which will hopefully improve your mood and make you feel more optimistic and upbeat.

Positive words change your focus from the negative to the positive.

I have said it before and I am going to say it again, to feel happier you have to act like a happy and optimistic person. If you don’t know where to start, the answer is simple…..observe, aka watch and learn because happy people act and talk in a certain way.

Depressed and negative people use a lot of negative statements and sentences which they keep repeating to themselves over and over again. As a result they end up in unwanted situations. They feel drained, even more depressed, negative or they just feel plain incompetent and hopeless. It is almost as if the reality they express is the reality they are going to get. Luckily this (like most) works both ways; it can either build or destroy you. Negative words create a negative world and positive words on the other hand create a positive reality. All in all, it is the way we use words, sentences and statements that determines whether they are going to build or destroy.

So, back to the happy and optimistic people and let’s find out what we can learn from them. For example, happy and optimistic people use certain words. Like I have said before, words people use can affect their mood. Negative words can drain you and get you even more depressed or negative. Positive and uplifting words on the other hand can improve your mood and give you more energy. They can actually change your whole attitude and the way you feel. I guess it is time to start using some cheerful and optimistic words instead of saddening and pessimistic words. Actually, I think it is time to start expressing what you do want, instead of expressing all the things you don’t want.

To get you started, here are some words and sentences (often used by negative people) to avoid:
- ‘I can’t’, ‘it is impossible’, ‘who am I kidding, I can’t do it’, ‘it can’t be done’, ‘I am not capable’, ‘I tried and failed in the past, so….’, ‘I am never going to…..’, ‘I will try’, ‘but’, ‘I feel swamped’, ‘I give up’ etc, etc.

In its place, use some of these sentences (often used by happy people):
- ‘I can’, ‘it is achievable’, ‘others can and so can I’, ‘I am able’, ‘I am not giving up’, ‘I can do it’, ‘I am up for the challenge’, ‘I will keep going’ etc, etc.

As you can see, there is a lot of difference between those two but if you think that is too much to start with then try this one on for size. Stop using the words ‘try’ and ‘but’. Two short and simple words but also very powerful. These two are able to make people feel hopeless and powerless. They are actually excuses and we don’t need them. Start feeling hopeful, take responsibility , watch what you say and never utter words like ‘try’ of ‘but’

Have a great Sunday!

Next week in MBSS: Tip six - Don't worry, be Happy!

Back by popular demand ;- ) Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#36)

Boost Your Mood.

Are you unhappy, depressed, down or just in a bad mood? Don’t worry this too will pass, it’s not like you are doomed to feel this way the rest of your life. Believe it or not, but the way you perceive things is a learned skill. Everyone can learn how to look at the world through more optimistic eyes. Over the next few weeks I will give you some tips which will hopefully improve your mood and make you feel more optimistic and upbeat.

Tip one: Stand tall.

Did you ever notice how happy and energetic individuals seem to radiate an endless supply of energy? They stand taller, walk faster and take bigger steps than unhappy and pessimistic people who have the tendency slouch, shuffle their feet and walk slowly. It’s like their batteries have gone flat and there is now way to recharge them, but there is! Pay attention to the way you carry yourself. Do you slouch? Do you take tiny steps? Well, now is the time to change that and to change you body posture. Look at the happy and optimistic people around you, how do they carry themselves? Lift your head, walk straight, walk tall and look the world right in the eyes. Of course you can look down if you are looking for cash or something (or feel insecure), but you would be missing a lot of the beautiful things that are all around us.
Take bigger and more powerful steps and try to walk a little bit faster than your usual pace, this will make you feel more energetic and with that energy your levels of happiness will increase.

Alternatively you can try a sport like Nordic Walking, if you don’t mind walking around with a set of funny looking ski poles. Nordic Walking will give you better posture, more energy and you are forced to walk faster.

Next week in MBSS: Tip two.

It’s a new season and it’s time for a change!

Oh my, a change, how scary ;) Yup, I know and I am shaking in my boots…..NOT! Well not yet at least, because before I can change the things I want to change (a.k.a. move forward) I need to get some other things back to “normal” first. Things like my daily “start-the-day-with-a-bit-of-yoga”, “30-minutes- workout” and the “taking-a-lunch-walk” routine.

After my friends prolonged stay and the will-I-get-the-flu-or-not-period, there was nothing left of my normal routine and now that I am not getting the flu I think it’s time to start again, so that I can add new things (not telling you what they are yet) in April. I feel a song comin’ on :)

I hope you are feeling great too, if not, maybe this will cheer you up!
It's SPRING!

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#31)

Create your own happiness.

Show remorse, choose to apologize.

Feelings of guilt and remorse can cause a lot of negative stress. Positive stress is a real motivator, while negative stress on the other hand will rob you from your energy and can make you feel really down. So don’t let the negative stress build-up and don't allow pain, or past mistakes, to paralyze you.

Have you ever made a mistake? Of course you have, we all have! No human-being is perfect! If you were the only one affected by the mistake, you might just consider yourself foolish, choose to forgive yourself and move on. If you were inconsiderate, insensitive, or even downright mean, i.e. if you have hurt or inconvenienced another person, you might want to make amends and apologize.

If you think an apology is in order make sure it’s a good and effective one. How? Maybe these guidelines will help.

Never, ever, apologize casually - Pick the right time and the right place!

Take responsibility- Accept the blame. Let the other person know that you are aware of the fact that you’ve caused pain.

Be sincere - People can spot an insincere apology a mile off. Let your tone of voice be warm and gentle. Don’t be defensive because it won’t help your case.

Make it personal - Admit that you've done wrong and that you've hurt the person you're apologizing to. Describe in detail what you’ve said or done to hurt the person. This will show you're not just saying "I'm sorry" because you've violated your own ethics, but that you’ve assessed were you went wrong.

Be straightforward - The best apologies contain no “buts”. Keep your apology clean and straightforward.

Don’t feel weak and vulnerable - A common assumption is that the person who apologizes is weak and vulnerable but in my opinion they are courageous and deserve respect.

Mind, Body & Soul Session (#30)

Create your own happiness.

Every day can turn in a horrible day and any day can have its share of buzz kills. Your car wouldn’t start in the morning, you missed the bus to work, you lost your cell phone, had to deal with screaming clients (colleagues, kids or partner), your computer isn’t willing to cooperate or maybe you just got out of the wrong side of the bed. When nothing seems to go right, try to put a more positive spin on things by asking yourself these four questions:

1. Will this last forever?
Rarely things will last forever! So, give yourself a "this too shall pass" perspective and take control. Feeling helpless will get you nowhere, or maybe I should say: feeling helpless will get you depressed. So, take control and you’ll feel more energetic and cheerful. Remember: nothing lasts forever!

2. Will I remember this day/event a week from now, a month from now, a year from now?
In other words, how significant is this event? When you ask yourself the “will I remember” question you will probably notice that you forget stuff a lot sooner then you think. For instance: can you remember what you were doing last Sunday at this exact time? Or what you were doing on 18th of January? Or let’s go back even further: what you were doing on the 18th of February 2006?

3. Can something good come out of this?
Never forget that tough situations or bad days usually have an upside too, whether it’s making you stronger or forcing you to treat yourself. Even if you can’t see it in an instant, try to look for it anyway.

4. What have I done to get through other awful situations/days?
Recall past strategies that have worked for you. So, what did you do? Did you call a friend? Treated yourself to something you really wanted? Did you write about it? Did you do something that made you cheerful? Did you have some ice-cream? It doesn’t matter what it was as long as it made you happier! Remembering what works for you can expel all the depressing feelings you might have.

Go ahead, create and be happy!

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#29)

Create your own happiness

What would make you happy? A new job? A dishwasher? A trip around the world? A date with ___________________ (insert name of choice)? Winning the lottery? Any one of these might make you do a little happy dance, for a short while, but in reality pure joy and happiness comes from the inside out. Some people are blessed, they are born with the "happiness gene", but there is still hope for the rest of us because happiness might be genetically influenced but it's also influenced by the things we do. So, over the next couple of weeks I am going to post some things you can do to expand your happiness factor. Some of the tricks you will find here I’ve posted before and some of them are new, either way these are all tips that will help you to create more positive vibes in your life.

Adopt the habits of happy people
Great, but what do they do? Well, here is the shortlist :)

They accept change.
It's impossible to prepare for unexpected changes but when they come (and they will), you should welcome them and learn. Regardless of whether these changes are joyful or devastating, they will always advance you to another step on your life's path. Thankfully, life will go on, whatever might happen. If you can adapt and accept change, your journey will be much happier. Well I’ve talked about this before.

They refuse to keep score.
Healthy relationships requires a lot of giving and taking from both side. If someone is keeping score, relationships might fracture. The reverse is also true: When no one is keeping tabs, the relationship is likely to grow. So, don’t always expect something in return and accept the fact that there will be days where you’ll need to give more. Learn to do this with a smile.

They say thanks.
People who keep a weekly (or daily) gratitude journal feel better about their lives and are more optimistic about the upcoming week (or day) than those who record hassles, problems or neutral events. Need inspiration? This might get you started.

They reach out.
People who focus on others are happier. Being compassionate helps you to feel better about yourself. You can participate in a community project, volunteer, be a mentor or help out at a local hospital. If that’s not your cup of tea, maybe you can give this a go.

They like to bond.
Confiding in others is good for the body as well as for the soul. Of course there are other remedies to cure unhappiness but an intimate friendship with someone who cares deeply about you is one of the best remedies.

They choose optimism
Negativity zaps so much energy from you and comes back ten times stronger. Negativity is cold, dark and heavy on your soul. Being cheerful and optimistic on the other hand feels like a cool summer breeze. Optimism is light, sweet and airy. Try it sometime and you may never go back. Tips to get you started:

Try to change every negative thought into a positive one,

Let go of the “worst case scenarios”, always assume the best from people and situations.

Hang around positive people. Negative people drain your energy and pull you into their fears.

Make positive affirmations and keep repeating them. In the end you’ll start to believe them.

Mind, Body & Soul Session (#26)

Make 2007 the year of joy!

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, but maybe you do. If you really want to stick to one resolution, let it be this one: Make 2007 the year of joy! Easier said than done, I know, but it is possible. Change some things around to make this year more joyful. Not a clue what to change, here are some suggestions.

Figure out your purpose and live accordingly.
Not knowing your purpose will bring you fear, sadness, frustration, and uncertainty. Finding your purpose will bring you great joy and living accordingly will bring you even greater joy. So, prioritise! Let your schedule reflect your purpose and don’t let unforeseen circumstances get in your way.

Choose and take control.
Ever feel like you have the leading part in the movie “Groundhog Day”? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to take control. You can sit around and wait for things to happen, but you can also take some action. Why wait to get invited to do something, when you can just as easily invite someone else. Knowing you have choices, that you can take control by speaking up and take action, will make your life easier and more joyful because it will get rid of that “stuck in a rut” feeling.

Don’t settle for status quo.
Always look to stretch yourself, expand your horizons! Learn a new language, listen to different music, take up web design, skydive, try a new sport or how about a photography course. Anything you might fancy will do. Thinking outside the box, colouring outside the lines, setting new goals, will bring you joy.

Learn to say No, dare to say Yes.
Even though it may feel uncomfortable to say no, or even to think about saying no, it's important to remember that each time you say yes to someone else or something you really don’t want to do, you say no to you and your priorities. Learn to say No, but don’t forget to say Yes to all the things you really do want to do or give a try! Say yes to invites, new adventures and challenges. It might be scary at first, but why not take a chance and add some new experiences to your life.

Be spontaneous
Surprise yourself, and others. Keywords here are spontaneity and surprise! Do the unexpected now and again. It will cause everybody to sit up, pay attention and say, ‘Wow where did that come from?’ It will put more joy in your life, and theirs.

Smile a lot, laugh often.
Most people are just too serious. We need to laugh…. a lot! Life is to be enjoyed. Next time you rent a DVD, get a comedy or a "feel good" movie and laugh. Or just take a look at this, maybe it will not make you laugh, but a giggle is a nice way to start :)


What ever you do, never forget that joy and happiness can be yours! Look for it, pursue it, grab it with both hands and never let go, enjoy it! Oh and always remember, life is not about how many breaths you take, but about the number of moments that take your breath away.

Enjoy your day!

Mind, Body & Soul Sessions (#20)

Top tips to fix your state of mind.

Mend your mood, change your way of thinking, boost your positivity and feel better about yourself with these tips.

Sit still and observe.
During a stressful period, take 5 minutes to sit still and observe your own mind at work. Simply watch your thoughts and feelings without judgment and separate yourself from your negative emotions without suppressing them. View them as an outsider would. No need for judgement, no need to do anything with them, just let them come and go!

Rest and relax.
A lot of people these days are sleep-deprived and overworked. They are exhausted, burned out and moody. Don’t let this happen to you. The next time you feel miserable, moody, cranky or sad and depressed, listen to your body. How tired are you really? Tired!? Start to relax and let go (if only for a couple of minutes). Take a yoga class, visit a sauna, read a book for a couple of minutes, lie down…… just go for it! You will feel better and will work more efficiently.

Be nurturing, be kind.
Sometimes when things are really hard and life really sucks, it’s hard to put on a happy face. Putting on a happy face at these times can be even worse then letting yourself go. At those times, be nice and gentle to yourself and look for the nurturing person inside you. The kind of person who says, “Go ahead, feel what you need to feel, feel your feelings, this isn’t the end of the world. Things will look better in the morning”, “Bad days exists so that you will appreciate the good days even more”. Don’t be too hard on yourself and give yourself permission to go with the flow. Treat yourself to a nice meal, take a nap, give yourself a long hot bath, make some hot chocolate and add some whipped cream.

Make contact with another living being.
No, I am not talking about calling a friend are talking with someone. No, I actually mean make contact…….touch someone in a comforting way. Ask for a hug from a loved one (or a stranger, if you have the guts), get a haircut or a facial, get a massage or take a ballroom dancing class. Pet your dog, rabbit, cat or hamster. Don’t underestimate the power of the physical touch.

List 5 things.
List 5 things you love with all your senses and see how your mood improves by simply writing down 25 answers. Write 5 endings to these sentences:
"I love the sound of…………..”
"I love the sight of…………..”
"I love the smell of…………..”
"I love the feel of…………..”
"I love the taste of…………..”

Consult an elder.
There was a time when you had to visit the “tribal elders” for a piece of wisdom. In this day and age we live in a time where the wisest things ever said, thought, or written are available to all of us. Safe your favourite quotes from wise people in a place where you can see them (often). Write them in your diary, stick them on your refrigerator, keep them on your desktop, or make a welcoming message out of them on your phone. Store books that will lift you spirit on your bedside table, where they are available to be read and reread often. Spend a few minutes with your gathered wisdom when your mood needs lifting.

Collect items that make you laugh.
Collect a stack of items that make you laugh and keep them in your house or workplace. A DVD might do the trick, or a funny picture, stand-up comedy, books, a cartoon, a funny website, or the phone number of your funniest friend. When you are feeling down, spend 15 minutes (or until you can at least crack a smile) with your stack of laughter.

Lend a helping hand.
Feeling powerless/helpless is a main part of depression and anger, but there is no need for that. You might think that the power lies in being able to command others into helping you, but that’s not true. In reality it’s the other way around. People who are helped feel less powerful, while helpers feel more powerful. Helping out others will give your self-esteem a real boost. Start lending a helping hand.

20 things you are grateful for.
Yup, another list thingy. Think of 20 things you are thankful for and name them out loud. After you are done, think of 20 more and never repeat yourself. What? You can’t do it? Sure you can, you just not trying hard enough :) Start with the obvious; for example, give thanks for your ability to feel, smile, smell, love, cry, taste, hear, the sun, seasons, rain, wind, your friends, friendship, family, Snow Patrol, teardrops apples, pictures, music, and art. Oh, hmm…. You are not grateful for those things? Well, if you think you can do this better, come up with your own list then. Go ahead, the possibilities are endless!

Mind, Body & Souls sessions (#18)

No Gossip Today

“Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you.”

Do you know what a “TomKat”, “Brangelina” or a “Vaughniston” is? I bet some of you do. To be honest, I had to check the names on the internet to make sure I got them right. If you knew who I meant right away, it’s not so surprising because we live in a culture obsessed with real-life celebrity drama. And it doesn’t stop there. What’s going on in the lives of our friends, relatives, neighbours and colleagues is extremely fascinating too. If there is anything most people enjoy doing more than any other thing, it’s gossiping. Some people find it even more interesting than any other form of speech.

First let me say that there is nothing wrong with having an opinion about a public figure/family member/friend/relative/neighbour/colleague, or discussing current events, fashion trends, how great so-and-so looked, new movies/TV shows/soaps or favourite restaurants. But when we cross the line from discussion over into sarcasm, contempt, disdain, mockery, and scorn, we have gone too far. The trouble with gossip (idle talk, earful, hearsay, pipeline, grapevine, dish the dirt, scuttlebutt, rumour, dirt, slander, scandal – whatever the name, it is still gossip) is that it serves no real purpose. Gossip is just casual talk especially about other people’s affairs and problems. Oh, come to think of it, there might be a purpose to gossip……namely distraction!. Gossip takes you away from concentrating on what's important in your own life. In the end, it's much easier to analyze and/or judge other people’s relationships and problems than to solve your own problems or to look at your own life. Spreading rumours/stories comes from a place of judgment, from someone who is displeased with his or her own self or life. What they don’t realise is that gossip can lead to stress, hostility and contempt for others. It can also damage friendships, destroy group morale and damage reputations. Gossip is the stuff that gets people down instead of building them up. Besides, we all know how it feels to be the subject of gossip: not good! Nobody wants to be the subject of gossip.

Like I said, gossip takes you away from concentrating on what's really important, things like building meaningful relationships, friendships, taking care of your physical and emotional health, and pursuing a fulfilling life. We should be filling our (and their) minds with thoughts that are pure, honest, kind, just and good, instead of evil. So, IMHO gossip has got to go!

Easy to say, but can it be done? Maybe we should all give it a go. Let’s try to go without gossip for a day and see what we are left with to talk about when we leave the gossip and other people’s life out of the conversation. So, don’t visit websites filled with gossip or entertainment news today. Forget about the tabloids, no entertainment programs on TV/radio and no entertainment magazines. It also means not talking about other people’s (sisters, brothers, friends, neighbours or colleagues) personal life when they aren’t around.

Mind, Body & Soul sessions (#16)

Try something new, step out of your box and colour outside the lines.

Last week I talked about letting go. By letting go of any remaining pain you might be carrying around, you can clear some mental and emotional space to welcome new people, new adventures and new situations into your life. Well, I don’t know if anybody has done this, but if you have, there might be a void now, an opening for something new, exciting and fulfilling. But were do you find something new and fulfilling? Hmmz… I don’t know ;) Kidding, I do know! Most of the time you will find something new, when you try something new! And NEW is the keyword here. So, why not start with leaving your comfort zone as a first step.

Your comfort zone is the place where you feel comfortable, the place where you feel safe, the place where you are in control, the place where you’re not at risk of embarrassment. It is also the place that is filled with your day to day activities. But like I said, it’s time to add something new into the mix, so get of your comfortable couch (a.k.a leave your comfort zone) and try something new and exciting. Oh, and I am not talking about bungee jumping (but you can do that too, if you really want) here, I am talking about the smaller things in life like:

• - going to a new restaurant,
• - dressing differently,
• - taking a (cooking) class,
• - trying a new sport,
• - saying hi to a stranger,
• - changing your daily routine,
• - learning to pole dance,
• - taking a different route to (or from) work,
• - getting a new hairstyle or new colour,
• - trying new food items,
• - listening to new music,
• - learning to play an instrument / a new language / a new dance,
• - reading different books,
• - going to new supermarket,
• - joining a book club,
• - learning to knit,
• - taking a trip to a nearby city or how about exploring a new neighbourhood that you haven’t set foot in before.

See, all easy things to start with :)

So, why not take 5 (or 10) minutes to list some new things you would like to try. Be creative! Make it a list about naming the things that sound interesting, fun, heart-warming and enjoyable (and not a list about the things you feel you should do). When you are done, look at your list and try to figure out which thing is calling to you the loudest. Just dedicate yourself to doing that one thing next week to make it a reality. It’s okay if it’s not the most ambitious item on your list. Don’t feel guilty if it’s the smallest item on your list….size (or importance) does not matter!! It only matters that you did it.

Friday video: Interesting and inspiring – Free hugs campaign!

I was going to blog about something really interesting today, but there are tree almost-ready-to-be-written-blogpost swimming around in my brain and none of them is reading to jump out yet so, it’s Friday video again. Maybe some of you have seen this video already, and maybe some of you haven’t. I came across this today and decided to pass this on to all my friends…. All I need to do now is find a stranger to hug and my mission will be completed! ;) We all need a hug (sometimes)!

The story behind the video:
Sometimes, a hug is all what we need. “Free hugs” is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whose sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.

In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.

As this symbol of human hope spread across the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity coming together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.

In the Spirit of the free hugs campaign, PASS THIS TO A FRIEND and HUG A STRANGER! After all, If you can reach just one person...

Music by Sick Puppies.



Here you can find an interview with the guy who started a world sensation with his free hug movement. Such a simple idea, that meant so much, to so many.

Mind, Body & Soul sessions (#14)

Spread a little kindness - Smile at a Stranger!

In certain instances, it is easy to feel compassion. When you watch TV and see people in trouble, it's easy to imagine how it must feel to be one of them and to genuinely wish them well. However, bringing compassion into your daily life can be more challenging. How can you feel compassion for someone you see on the street; for telemarketers, who have the most thankless job in the world; or for yourself when you see yourself with puffy eyes and a bed head? The answer is simple! Start small, be compassioned, be kind, and start with a smile!

“It costs nothing, but gives much.
You are enriched when both receiving it
and offering it to someone else.
It takes only a moment, but its memory can last a lifetime.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it,
and none is so poor that he cannot be made richer by it.
It brings happiness to the home, promotes good will in business
and is the cornerstone of friendship.
It perks up the weary, brings cheer to the discouraged,
sunshine to the sad and is nature’s best antidote for trouble.
It is so valuable, and yet it cannot be bought,
begged, borrowed or stolen,
for it’s worthless until it’s given away.
If you see someone without one of their own,
then send them one of yours for no one needs
a smile so much as he who has none to give”

-author unknown

Let's face it, if I smile at you, you'll smile back. The more I smile, the more people will smile at me. The more you smile, the more people will smile at you.

The big question with smiling at strangers is where to start. You can’t go around smiling all day, every day. That would look unnatural. The smile we are going for here needs to be natural and has to have a profound impact on someone. One of the best places to smile at a stranger is where there are enough people staying relatively still. The park is a possible candidate, as are cafés, coffee shops, public transport and places like bus stops, or how about the queue in the supermarket. Look around and find a target. When a possible target is found, follow these steps.

Step 1: Eye contact
This step is very important! A person will not know that they are your target unless they see you do it. For example: in public transport peoples' eyes tend to wander around. Do not stare, because that will make people turn away. When the wandering eyes have found another pair of eyes, they will stop for a moment. It is critical to proceed to step 2 as soon as eye contact is established

Step 2: Decision time – think quick!
You see a person who looks interesting. Maybe he or she is attractive, maybe they’re wearing something that appeals to you, or maybe you just want to give this person some attention. The reason is not that important, so don’t investigate. Right now the “should I or shouldn’t I” question will pop in your mind. Forget about it. Forget all those other questions like “what will they think?” too. Decide!! Just do it now….or not! The only person who can decide whether you want to proceed is you. Feeling courageous? Proceed to step 3 or just divert your eyes

Step 3: Flash a smile
Don't feel awkward or self conscious. Everyone can smile, it’s not difficult, and everyone looks good with a smile plastered on their face. What matters with smiling at strangers is the fact that you actually smile. However, please, do not force a smile: If one comes, it needs to come and look natural.

Step 4: Don't overdo it.
It's important to smile just as long as it takes for the person to notice. Don’t just sit there for hours with a silly grin on your face ;) There will always be some sort of response, ranging from a real smile back at you all the way to a frown or a movement of the head away from you. If the latter occurs, don’t let it discourage you….better luck next time!

So, what will happen next? That will all depend on the parties involved. In most cases the reaction will be a positive one. It may not be visible to you, but they will feel it. In some cases it is possible that this simple act of smiling at a stranger will spark conversation or even more. There is no telling until you try it. So, give it a go….SMILE!

Mind, Body & Soul session (#13)

Giggle and Enjoy Yourself - Laugh Therapy

"Laughter is a tranquillizer with no side effects" ~ Arnold Glasgon

It is official, laughing is good for you. Research shows that laughing has positive effects on every aspect of your life and health. Laughter lifts you up and life becomes worth living. Did you know that a laughing fit is just as liberating as a good cry? It really clears the mental decks. It is mindfulness and pure, wholesome joy in action. You experience that vanishing state of being called relaxation. You stress less and enjoy the company of other people more. You live and enjoy the present moment. Laughter is contagious and it creates laughter for other people. Allowing laughter to swell into a movement across the world would reduce the growing anger and violence.

And not that you need more reasons, but laughter has been proven to:

• Strengthen your immune system
• Release endorphins
• Lower your blood pressure
• Make your cheeks sore
• Enhance your cardiovascular flexibility
• Increase the level of oxygen in your blood
• Make you think more clearly
• Put a devilish twinkle in your eye
• Increase your intellectual performance and information retention
• Make you forget what you were laughing about
• Destroy your conservative reputation
• Replenish your creative juices
• Dampen your undergarment (oops)
• Increase your spirit quotient
• Release and transforms your emotional pain
• Develop abdominal muscles of steel
• Create perspective and remind yourself of the bigger picture
• Help yourself to live and die, laughing
• Be good for weight loss (apparently 5 minutes of belly laughing burns the equivalent calories of 15 minutes of indoor cycling!)
  

You could say that laughter is the best medicine ever (and it’s free!). All of us have heard this from childhood but where is our laughter today? Gone! Disappeared!! We somehow forgot how to laugh. Research indicates that adults smile or laugh 15 times (or less) per day and think negative ideas ¾ of the time. Children however smile or laugh 400 times per day.

Now, I am not saying that you should smile or laugh 400 times per day (it would be nice though), but wouldn’t it be great if you laughed or smiled more than 15 times a day. So, while you can't force a laugh, you can invite more humour into your life. How? Give this a try:

• Cultivate your sense of humour - find something small to have a smile about every day
• Try to see the silliness that's lurking just below the surface.
• Learn to laugh at yourself – Don’t take everything so serious. If you can take yourself lightly, you can put most of your worries into perspective.
• Be spontaneous and playful.
• Allow some fun into your life.
• Make friends with people who bring out the playful side of you.
• Try and do something a bit foolish or silly every day.
• If something happens that annoys you, make a funny face, stick out your tongue or do a silly little dance.

Notice how differently you feel when you greet life with a laugh instead of a frown.

Mind, body and soul sessions (#11)

Free your body and your mind will follow ;)

Exercise is one of the best medicines in the world, and it's totally free. It has long been seen as a way to maintain physical fitness and help prevent high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and other diseases. But now evidence suggests that exercise has a positive effect on the levels of certain mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain. It may also boost feel-good endorphins, release tension in muscles, reduce anxiety, boost your confidence, gives you a distraction, help you sleep better, improves your sex drive, decrease depression, make you feel better about yourself and your body and reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol. In addition exercise also increases body temperature, which can make you feel more at ease and peaceful. Wow, so many changes and it gets even better. All of these changes in your mind and body can improve such symptoms as sadness, anxiety, irritability, stress, fatigue, anger, self-doubt and hopelessness.

Your body was not designed to sit all day, it was designed for other things like hunting, gathering and running. This doesn’t mean you have to start hunting now, but it does mean that your body needs to move and stretch to stay in shape and flexible. And don’t think you have to sign up at the gym either, because exercise doesn't have to be vigorous to be beneficial. Ordinary activities such as cleaning the windows, climbing the stairs, gardening and house cleaning all qualify as exercise. Some people may feel the need to work up a sweat and get red in the face to feel satisfied with their workout, go right ahead if that makes you feel better, but it's not absolutely necessary. Again...... it all comes down to what makes you feel good.

Research suggests that it may take at least 30 minutes of exercise a day for at least three to five days a week to significantly improve your feelings, but smaller amounts of time (10 – 15 minutes) will improve your mood too.
So, if you decide to give this a try*, identify what you enjoy doing. Figure out what type of exercise or activities you're most likely to do. And think about when and how you'd be most likely to follow through. For instance, would you be more likely to do some gardening in the evening or go for a jog in the pre-dawn hours? Go for a brisk walk in the woods or around your neighbourhood? Or how about this one: dancing around your living room while your favourite music is playing? What ever you do, choose a form of exercise that you enjoy and then do it for 20 minutes (or more, if you want). Oh, and don’t make this about performance, it’s all about fun! Try to fit a short routine into your schedule. Again it doesn’t have to be vigorous or a long workout, a 10 minute walk will do too. Note how you feel before you exercise, and note how you feel after. I bet you are going to feel sooooo much better :)

*If you are new to exercise or have special health considerations, be sure to consult your doctor first

Mind, body and soul sessions (#10)

Go for real Happy Meals.

No, no, no, I am not talking about McDonald’s Happy Meals here. I am talking about food that will make you feel good and happier.

We live in a fast-paced world; everything has to happen immediately, right now and quickly. Some of us don’t even take the time to enjoy a nice meal anymore. Eating has become something you do while you are doing something else. A lot of people eat while they watch TV, work on their computer or read a book. Where is the pleasure in that? How can you savour your meal when you are not consciously eating? Some people are so preoccupied, they don’t even taste what they eat and that’s a real shame. Food needs to be enjoyed.
There are even some people around who have never ever prepared a real meal in their life. Why would you, in this world where fast-food is widely available? Well, because it’s fun and relaxing and because you get to pick and choose all the ingredients yourself.
And of course there are people in this lose-weight-fast culture, who get caught up in the latest fashion diet. What’s going on here people? Why are we losing sense of what food is really meant to do? Food is not the enemy, food is our friend.

Every day we need good food to nourish and power every cell in our body. Just like a car, our body needs the right kind of fuel to function properly. Every cell needs a steady supply of energy to perform optimally and that energy comes from each bite we take. Sure our bodies can manage to survive on insufficient or mediocre fuel, but why not go for the best performance possible. Believe it or not, you are what you eat, emotionally and physically, so give your body the best fuel available.

To get you started, here are some nutrition guidelines to boost your energy levels and to make you feel better.

• Eat a combination of carbs, protein and fat at regular intervals to keep your energy levels high throughout the day.
• Eat healthy snacks every three to four hours to keep your blood sugar level stable.
• Drink water and keep water handy at all times. Dehydration cause tiredness and makes you feel hungry.
• Avoid caffeine, sugary sodas and sweetened drinks.
• Eat plenty fruits (or choose fresh juice if you don’t like eating fruit) and vegetables.
• Fried or fatty foods can make you feel lethargic. Choose natural and unprocessed foods.
• Choose whole grains and complex carbs over refined grains and sugars.
• Increase your sources of protein with nuts, seeds, fish, beans and tofu.

There are all sorts of rules and guidelines out there and some of them might work better for you then others. Give them a try and find out what works for you. To much trouble, try this. The most basic thing you can do towards eating better is to ask yourself at every meal, is this food going to make me feel better or worse? Try guidelines and think about how your body feels at the end of the day.

Savour every bite and enjoy your meal!!

Mind, body and soul sessions (#7)

Focus on the Good – part II

Every story has two sides. This goes for the stories we are told but also for the stories we tell ourselves. When you are on a diet, you’ll probably weigh yourself every week. At the weigh in you expect weight loss (duh!), but there will be weeks when you haven’t lost/gained a single gram. The famous weight plateau! Now, you can hit yourself over the head, because you haven’t lost any or you can say to yourself “well, at least I didn’t gain any weight!!” Other example: When you look in the mirror, you can focus on the lines on your faces and think “I am getting really old now!” But you can also say “Wow I’ve laugh lines around my eyes and mouth. Every line represents plenty of laughter. Hurrah!” Technically they are all true, but the last one in each case is clearly going to make you feel better.

So the next step to a happier life: Make a determined effort to tell the positive side of the story. Pay close attention to the things you tell yourself. Look for the positive, focus on the good! Ask yourself little questions like: How does this meal taste? What’s the weather like? How does the coffee taste? When you can answer these questions (in a positive way) with ease, it’s time to focus your positive spin to other people. Notice something you love in your partner, friends, kids, family or strangers. And when you are up for a real challenge…..try to find something good in a person you really dislike.

Still, this all relatively easy. The real test comes when you are out in the real world. Notice your first reaction when – you get an annoying negative email from a coworker, - you encounter a rude salesperson or waiter, - someone cut you off in traffic, - someone jumps the queue. Pay attention, and then look for the other side of the story. Make an effort to find something good to say about every situation. This can be tough, but it is achievable. Maybe you can admire the coworker’s dedication, or say to yourself “well, I don’t have to spend a lifetime with this salesperson/waiter”, or be grateful for the opportunity the driver/queue jumper gives you to practice your new way of thinking. Like I said this way of thinking can be tough, but it also can be very helpful.

The downside of this step is that you notice how many times you say negative things to yourself or others. Did you know you had so many negative thoughts? Probably not, but that’s okay. Don’t reprimand yourself! This step is about focusing on the good, noticing the positive. You can’t change what you can’t acknowledge. You can’t break the habit you don’t know you have. Paying attention is the first part of the transformation.

“Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention.” Greg Anderson

Mind, body and soul sessions (#6)

Focus on the good in your life!

We all, occasionally get them, negative thoughts and feelings. One day the glass is half full, the next it is half empty and on really bad days it might have spilled completely. Relationship problems, people, pressure at work, money worries, stress, a sense of desperation, hopelessness and boredom all affect our attitudes and feelings. It's easy to believe that we're completely at the mercy of our feelings, but in fact we're not…..hurrah :) To some degree the way you feel is dictated by your thinking pattern (or style).

People tend to make sense of the world in two thinking styles. Thinking styles are the way you look at life and explain situations in your life or the world. The first style is more optimistic, the second is the more pessimistic view. Bad feelings often are the result of bad, pessimistic and unhelpful thinking patterns. If you spend all the day, every day, thinking about problems and negative stuff, as some people do, you're unlikely to feel very happy. Optimistic thinking styles are linked with happiness, good health and success. Now you might think that if you are born with one predominant style (the pessimistic one for instance), you can never change but research suggests that you can!

This is obviously easier said than done because people can’t simply decide to think positively and change their lives overnight, it’s not that simple. There are, however, steps you can take if you want to be happier. You can make a start by looking for the good in your life. Everyone has things in their life for which they can be grateful. Spend more time thinking about these and I promise you you'll feel a lot better.

Count your blessings

Start a new ritual: reflect on at least five things you're grateful for, things you appreciate, things that make you happy or just things that made you smile. (hmm…that sounds kind of familiar ;)) Maybe you enjoyed the nap you stole after nights of barely any sleep at all. Or you relished that glass of beer in the heat. Or you're grateful that you and your friends spend some quality time together.
How and when you conduct this ritual is totally up to you. Some say you must write down your five things before you go to bed, so you can drift off feeling happy. Others suggest you take stock when you are in the shower, or when you have breakfast, so you can start the day feeling great. But like I said…. How, when and where is totally up to you.
You can make a new list every day or you can focus on the same five things every day. Again, this is up to you! There are no strict rules here. Oh hold on, there is one rule (bummer ;)). You need to make your list as detailed as possible.

The details are worth it. The details train you to pay more attention so you're less likely to miss the little things that create positive feelings. So remember the first gulp of beer, the taste, the way it made you feel and the smell. Or write about the laughter of your friends, remember the sound, remember their faces. You can find a lot of happiness in those small things. Happiness is in the nuances, relish them.

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And now it’s really time for this…..C U L@er!!