Cartoon Tuesday on a Wednesday: Sweet.........

Cartoon Tuesday: Infidelity

Don't ask her to marry you in public!

You might end up feeling just a bit embarrassed.

OUCH!

Overheard conversation.

Last Saturday was probably one of the last nice Saturday’s we are going to have this year. The sun was shining, a nice breeze was blowing and the temperature was still very high for this time of year. So to celebrate, I treated myself to a nice cup of espresso outside one of the local cafes. While I was sitting there, enjoying my Lavazza (or maybe Illy –sorry I wasn’t paying attention) coffee and pecan cinnamon roll, I overheard a conversation two ladies had at the table behind me.

Apparently one of the ladies was thinking about marriage and she asked the other one for her opinion about it and this was her answer:
"The thing with marriage is, that you are going to take things for granted after a while, little thing like being together, doing things together, enjoying each others company. I think couples should sort of decide to remarry every day. They should look each other in the eye at the beginning of each day and decide there and then if they would say Yes again. Yes, because they want to be with that person for the remainder of the day. Yes, because the other person can give them what they need. And Yes because, although they have changed, they are still right for each other!
Other times I think it would be a great idea if you could just lease a husband or some love, so that it wasn’t a lifelong commitment. Picture it….you could take out a 12 month lease, with the right of renewal when you are still happy together after the initial first 12 months.
And sometimes I think it would be best if there was some sort of test you had to take every two years. Or wouldn’t it be great if there was some sort of evaluation every year. During a supervised session you could talk about all your likes and dislikes and in the end you could decide to stay on or look elsewhere.*silence* Hmm….but, I guess that was not the answer you were looking for."

I am quite sure that wasn’t the answer the other lady was looking for, but I have to say I can agree with some of the things the lady said. I think that in long term relationship a lot of people take things for granted. And to make it even worse, there are people out there who can’t even remember why they fell in love with the other person in the first place. That's so sad!
I also like the idea of a 12 month lease. Why are people these days still committing to a lifelong thing? Okay, let’s be honest, they say they go for the lifelong thing, but people divorce with so much ease these days that at one point I thought it was the latest trend. IMHO, marriage was never intended to last 60 or 70 years. When people first started to get married they were considered lucky if they made it till their tenth wedding anniversary. People didn’t get to celebrate their 80^th birthday way back then. So why not introduce another form of marriage? Or, more extreme, why not get rid of the whole marriage concept? There are a lot of other options to choose from these days. Maybe it will solve a lot of problems….. or maybe a lot of new problems will arise. Not sure about that. I am sure however, that marriage is not my thing. I never liked the concept and I never had the dream to get marriage or be a princess for a day. So, I never made it to the altar…........hooray!:)

Friday fun & video

Sometimes you are just in the mood for some laughs and sometimes you’re not. If the last thing is the case…..go ahead, read another (much more) interesting blog :)

I came across this billboard photo on a site and felt immediately sorry for Emily. Or who knows, maybe Steven was even worse off ;)

Anyhow, I googled around a bit and found the perfect gift to send to Emily.
And I advised her to start video dating right away


Want more hilarious Smack The Pony videos? Just click the link!

Off with their heads ;)

A couple of weeks ago, during the heat wave, I had a lot of trouble sleeping. On one of those nights I decided to get out of bed to watch some TV. Bad idea, nighttime television is quite similar to daytime television…. a lot of rubbish. I ended up watching one of the Dr.Phil episodes about cheating/infidelity. Big mistake! During the show I got more and more annoyed by the guests (mostly women) and their definition of cheating. Their definition differed completely from my views, it was actually a bit scary, and after watching for a while I wasn’t even sure what cheating meant anymore. So I looked it up.

According to the dictionary:
1. cheating - not faithful to a spouse or lover;
2. unfaithful - having sexual relations with someone other than your husband or wife, or your boyfriend or girlfriend;
3. infidelity
a. Unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, especially a spouse.
b. An act of sexual unfaithfulness.

According to Wikipedia:
Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who is sexually involved with a married person is also considered an adulterer. The common synonym for adultery is infidelity as well as unfaithfulness or in colloquial speech, cheating. It was also known in earlier times by the legalistic term "alienation of affection".

After reading this I felt quite relieved. Cheating was still cheating *sigh of relieve* IMHO cheating occurs when bodily fluids are exchanged. Quite simple, and easy to remember :) The women on the show however had the most amazing list of things they considered to be cheating. I don’t want to bore you to death, so here is the shortlist:

• - looking at a female,
• - talking with a woman,
• - flirting with another woman,
• - having a female friend,
• - having coffee/lunch with a female,
• - touching/stroking/petting/hugging a different female,
• - kissing another woman on the cheek,
• - calling a woman on the phone,
• - sending emails to another woman,
• - talking about personal stuff with a woman.

Really, if all of this is considered to be cheating I can honestly say, in hindsight, that all my b-friends cheated on me in one way or another. What’s wrong with having a female friends or talking with other women? In my opinion every man needs at least one female friend and every woman needs one or more male friends. We can learn so much from each other. Who knows, we might even understand each other one day ;)

Of course this whole thing made me curious, so here is a little question for you *. Where do you draw the line? What’s your interpretation of the word cheating?

* [answer if you want too, skip it when you don’t feel comfortable]

Beware (non flirting) single female xing!

I don’t know what has been going on lately, maybe heat induced raging hormones are messing with people’s heads, but it seems I have turned into a non stop flirting threat apparently!

Last week one of my friends celebrated her birthday. We (her friends) think it was one of the big ones but we are not quite sure because she is very secretive about her age. Anyway to celebrate in style she had arranged a picnic complete with parasols which was nice because it had been 36º C / 96,8º F again that day. Of course there was other stuff too. Wine, beer, bread, sandwiches, a mini barbeque, water, salads etc. and she had brought something else along too……. A new boyfriend! Hooray another one! ;) Not a real surprise because my friend goes through boyfriends like others devour a bag of Cheetos. It has gotten so bad by now that we (her friends) stopped paying too much attention to the guys. Oh, we talk to them and are nice and friendly but that is about it. Why bother with the whole getting to know each other business, when we are probably not going to see him again anyway.

The picnic was a great success and even the new b-friend was quite nice (in a friendly sort of way). He actually had some things to say, a.k.a an opinion…. Now that was a first! (she usually goes for the shallow silent type). We (he and I) had a very interesting chat about current events - and I don’t mean the weather ;), music and festivals, photography and much more. Very interesting and again, with that I mean the conversation and not the guy! So not my type :) When it was time to go, I said my goodbyes and hugged/kissed my friends and I pecked the new guy on the cheek too and said it would be nice to talk again sometime. (Exit single female!)

When I returned home the light on my answering machine was blinking! My friend (the birthday girl) had left me a message and it went something like this “Hi, I don’t appreciate what you did today! You probably haven’t got a clue what I am talking about, so I’ll explain it to you. You were flirting with my b-friend the whole time!! He and I didn’t spend any time together because of you. And you pecked him on the cheek!!!!……YOU NEVER DO THAT!! (she has a point there) And now I hear you are going to meet again behind my back!! (I am?? That’s news to me!). Long story short…..I think it is better we don’t see each other for a while. And don’t think about calling me back because I won’t answer the phone. Thanks for ruining my birthday!” (Exit drama queen!!) I was totally flabbergasted after this message! Did she actually believe I was interested in this guy? Yes, according to some of my other friends. Weird! She knows he is not my type and it’s not like I’ve hooked up with one of my friends’ b-friends before….. so what is she thinking :-| And what exactly constitutes flirting anyway? If I talk to, smile or compliment a guy is that flirting? If the answer is yes, I should probably stop having any type of contact with guys because there was this other occurrence too.

During the heat wave I was forced to skip my usual exercise routine. So instead I walked or rode my bicycle in the evenings. At the end of every trip I chilled out by the river near my house. While I was sitting there I watched the boats and people go by and I greeted them. The people that is, not the boats! One evening a guy stops running and sits down besides me and says “I want to make on thing clear…. I am married!” Okay, now I am confused (keep in mind that I only greeted this guy the night before…. So I said “And?” He “well, I believe you are single and I just wanted you to know that I am off the market”. More confusion on my part! First of all, why does this guy believe I am single and second …… what is he thinking?! Does he actually believe that he is God’s gift to women or something? Man, I would rather go for a bag of Cheetos and I don’t even like Cheetos! I am not quite sure, but I think I actually said that to him :)

Perhaps by now you are thinking I was actually flirting but the whole greeting and smiling thing is all part of the random act of kindness program:

• Smile and say “hello” to someone you don’t know.
• Compliment a stranger about something they are wearing.
• Pay a compliment at least once a day.

Maybe I should get a specially made t-shirt!

Hmmz… only I am not quite sure if it would warn people off or attract even more people ;)

But seriously…. I am still a bit puzzled, so here is a question fo you: what (in your opinion) exactly constitutes flirting?

Mind, body and soul sessions (#6)

Focus on the good in your life!

We all, occasionally get them, negative thoughts and feelings. One day the glass is half full, the next it is half empty and on really bad days it might have spilled completely. Relationship problems, people, pressure at work, money worries, stress, a sense of desperation, hopelessness and boredom all affect our attitudes and feelings. It's easy to believe that we're completely at the mercy of our feelings, but in fact we're not…..hurrah :) To some degree the way you feel is dictated by your thinking pattern (or style).

People tend to make sense of the world in two thinking styles. Thinking styles are the way you look at life and explain situations in your life or the world. The first style is more optimistic, the second is the more pessimistic view. Bad feelings often are the result of bad, pessimistic and unhelpful thinking patterns. If you spend all the day, every day, thinking about problems and negative stuff, as some people do, you're unlikely to feel very happy. Optimistic thinking styles are linked with happiness, good health and success. Now you might think that if you are born with one predominant style (the pessimistic one for instance), you can never change but research suggests that you can!

This is obviously easier said than done because people can’t simply decide to think positively and change their lives overnight, it’s not that simple. There are, however, steps you can take if you want to be happier. You can make a start by looking for the good in your life. Everyone has things in their life for which they can be grateful. Spend more time thinking about these and I promise you you'll feel a lot better.

Count your blessings

Start a new ritual: reflect on at least five things you're grateful for, things you appreciate, things that make you happy or just things that made you smile. (hmm…that sounds kind of familiar ;)) Maybe you enjoyed the nap you stole after nights of barely any sleep at all. Or you relished that glass of beer in the heat. Or you're grateful that you and your friends spend some quality time together.
How and when you conduct this ritual is totally up to you. Some say you must write down your five things before you go to bed, so you can drift off feeling happy. Others suggest you take stock when you are in the shower, or when you have breakfast, so you can start the day feeling great. But like I said…. How, when and where is totally up to you.
You can make a new list every day or you can focus on the same five things every day. Again, this is up to you! There are no strict rules here. Oh hold on, there is one rule (bummer ;)). You need to make your list as detailed as possible.

The details are worth it. The details train you to pay more attention so you're less likely to miss the little things that create positive feelings. So remember the first gulp of beer, the taste, the way it made you feel and the smell. Or write about the laughter of your friends, remember the sound, remember their faces. You can find a lot of happiness in those small things. Happiness is in the nuances, relish them.

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And now it’s really time for this…..C U L@er!!

Cartoon Tuesday: Love and Marriage?! (9)

Cartoon Tuesday: Love and Marriage?! (8)

Cartoon Tuesday (on Wednesday): Love and Marriage?! (7)

Cartoon Tuesday: Love and Marriage?! (6)

Cartoon Tuesday: Love and Marriage?! (5)

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Reasons to be cheerful:
1. I won free tickets for Concert at Sea (a small music festival near the sea).
2. I had a freshly baked croissant with strawberries for breakfast.
3. All the garden plants I bought Friday are still alive and kicking. The snails probably don't like them. Hooray!!

Cartoon Tuesday: Love and Marriage?! (4)

Co-habiting 'makes women fatter

One of my friends has this conviction: “Women get fatter when they are co-habiting or in a steady relationship. You can tell when things are going all wrong and the relationship is coming to an end. Why? Strangely enough, the women will lose all the gained weight again!”

I never believed him, until yesterday that is. Yesterday the BBC published this British study.

I hate to admit it, but I’m starting to believe my friend is right. Ehmm… at least for the weight gaining part, that is :)

The negative aspect of being happily in love.

When you are happily in love, your chances of having a nightmare are increasing rapidly. This is discovered by researchers of the Santa Clara University in California.

For this project they questioned 29 (why not 30?!) married and single women. Women, who rated their relationship as a high quality one, admitted having more unpleasant dreams then singles or unhappy women. In those unpleasant dreams the partner often has a leading part. They committed adultery, had an accident or ran off.

Explanation by the researchers:

People who are happy have a lot to lose and when people have a lot to lose, they stress about it unintentionally. It may not show in day to day life, but you see this back in their dreams.

Hmmz… I must be very happily not in love because I have pretty weird or disturbing dreams from time to time too, or maybe it is just something in the water ;)